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in deep love ........now not

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 7 Replies

Well  I do not want to bore you with a looooong story so i will keep it short.....ask questions if you want !

I was in love with my boyfriend for about 7 years... SOOOOOOOOOOOO deep in love!!  Even after 7 years I STILLL got butterflies in my tummy when ever he was near or getting ready to touch me....and ALMOST always had an O.....I have not had one in almost a year.

He and I went to CO (we live in MD) to get his daughter,her husband and 3 kids in October 2011 then left in April 2012.We they came is when everything went sour. Our wedding was suppose to be June 22, 2012.....We were going to pospone wedding til after we helped our daughter and family and they were back on their feet. I called of the wedding TOTALLY before they even went back to CO.

 

Thank you for listening......any suggestions on how to get the spark back now...........  might be gone forever

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 14, 2013 at 4:46 PM
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Sassy762
by CAFE SASSY HBIC on Jan. 14, 2013 at 4:48 PM

Putting Some Spark Back in Your Marriage

by Glen O. Jenson, Ph.D.
Department of Family and Human Development
Utah State University


One of the best ways I know to overcome daily discouragements is to give yourself a gift that will pay dividends for the future. This gift would enhance a marital relationship, and is inexpensive. Here is a list of my top ten:

1. Make your spouse number ONE in your life. Your love and loyalty to your spouse is necessary for their emotional well-being. Usually spouses who feel they are number one, try to make their spouse feel the same way.

2. Give each other small gifts on ordinary days. We all expect gifts on special occasions of birthdays, Father's/Mother's Day, anniversaries and other such days. Giving gifts when they are least expected mean more.

3. Praise each other daily. Everyone needs to feel appreciated and praised. More behavior is changed for the good by praise than criticism.

4. Identify one of your mate's weak or bad points and then forget it. Too much time is spent rehearsing negative characteristics found in our spouses, hoping they will change. Most of our spouses know the characteristic disliked and if they desire to change, they will. Constant reminding does little, if anything to change behavior.

5. Choose one of the roles your spouse normally does, but does not enjoy, and perform that responsibility for them. When someone does something for you without being asked, it is greatly appreciated, especially if it was a less than desirable role. Cleaning the bathroom or cleaning out the garage might be examples.

6. Arrange some couple-time away from home and the children. A change of scenery will do wonders for the two of you. Problems become smaller when the two of you can get away from the routine of everyday activities. An overnight stay in a motel does wonders to refresh a marriage, physically and emotionally.

7. Tell others how much you love and appreciate your spouse. Invariably, if you tell close friends how much you love and appreciate your spouse, it will eventually get back to your spouse. We all like and appreciate being praised by each other to others.

8. Write your spouse a love letter and send it by registered mail. It is exciting to get mail that is important enough that it has to be signed for in order to get it from the mail carrier. In the letter express your feelings about how important your spouse is to you.

9. Write a letter to your in-laws and thank and praise them for raising such a special person as your spouse. In-laws can be problematic to a marriage relationship and a little preventive maintenance of that relationship will pay big dividends.

10. Buy a special book focusing on the marriage relationship. Read it and identify some things you can do to strengthen your part of the marriage relationship. There are several excellent books on the market that focus on strengthening the marriage relationship. Any bookstore or librarian could make some excellent suggestions.

jkleinman
by Ruby Member on Jan. 14, 2013 at 4:49 PM
This.

Quoting Sassy762:

Putting Some Spark Back in Your Marriage

by Glen O. Jenson, Ph.D.
Department of Family and Human Development
Utah State University


One of the best ways I know to overcome daily discouragements is to give yourself a gift that will pay dividends for the future. This gift would enhance a marital relationship, and is inexpensive. Here is a list of my top ten:

1. Make your spouse number ONE in your life. Your love and loyalty to your spouse is necessary for their emotional well-being. Usually spouses who feel they are number one, try to make their spouse feel the same way.

2. Give each other small gifts on ordinary days. We all expect gifts on special occasions of birthdays, Father's/Mother's Day, anniversaries and other such days. Giving gifts when they are least expected mean more.

3. Praise each other daily. Everyone needs to feel appreciated and praised. More behavior is changed for the good by praise than criticism.

4. Identify one of your mate's weak or bad points and then forget it. Too much time is spent rehearsing negative characteristics found in our spouses, hoping they will change. Most of our spouses know the characteristic disliked and if they desire to change, they will. Constant reminding does little, if anything to change behavior.

5. Choose one of the roles your spouse normally does, but does not enjoy, and perform that responsibility for them. When someone does something for you without being asked, it is greatly appreciated, especially if it was a less than desirable role. Cleaning the bathroom or cleaning out the garage might be examples.

6. Arrange some couple-time away from home and the children. A change of scenery will do wonders for the two of you. Problems become smaller when the two of you can get away from the routine of everyday activities. An overnight stay in a motel does wonders to refresh a marriage, physically and emotionally.

7. Tell others how much you love and appreciate your spouse. Invariably, if you tell close friends how much you love and appreciate your spouse, it will eventually get back to your spouse. We all like and appreciate being praised by each other to others.

8. Write your spouse a love letter and send it by registered mail. It is exciting to get mail that is important enough that it has to be signed for in order to get it from the mail carrier. In the letter express your feelings about how important your spouse is to you.

9. Write a letter to your in-laws and thank and praise them for raising such a special person as your spouse. In-laws can be problematic to a marriage relationship and a little preventive maintenance of that relationship will pay big dividends.

10. Buy a special book focusing on the marriage relationship. Read it and identify some things you can do to strengthen your part of the marriage relationship. There are several excellent books on the market that focus on strengthening the marriage relationship. Any bookstore or librarian could make some excellent suggestions.

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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 14, 2013 at 7:17 PM

I use to do all those thing...  little notes in his side of the bed...  briing him lunch....  I JUST do not feel the same anymore.....  we do get away from the kids in fact we traveled to Missouri to watch our son graduate book camp...  we DO get sometime alone together but I still lve in my house with my youngest daughter and he lives in his house  with his 2 kids..... but I vew the kids as OUR kids. The mother of his kids passed away before I met him.

maybe just toooo much hurt to get past

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 17, 2013 at 1:22 PM

BUMP!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 15, 2013 at 1:18 PM

BUMP!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 15, 2013 at 1:19 PM

any more advise???

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 9, 2013 at 8:46 PM

now I would rather be alone most of the time than be with him......... Why be with a man I can not  feel comfortable tellng my hopes and dreams to or confide in?  He is a GREAT provider and I will not have worry about $$ I can not help but think he came into my life for just a reason or season and NOT a lifetime........ :-(      He is a GOOD man he really is......... I just do not know if it will last forever anymore

 

 

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