Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Very frustrated with dh and his sleep issue LONG

Posted by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 8:09 PM
  • 4 Replies

I very strongly believe my husband has some sort of sleep issue. He cycles and usually only has 1 wk of "normal" sleep patterns ie, wake in the morning(around 7-8) and go do bed at night(around 10-11).

The rest of the the time it varries. Like right now hes pretty much on a night sechedual, goes to bed at 4am an wakes up between 2-4pm. It starts off though with different hours, never is a set amount of time. Some times he can sleep for 5hrs and be up the next 24hrs, sometimes he sleeps 20hrs is awake for those 4hrs but then is still exausted and sleeps another 12hrs. 

When he was working it was a struggle, he was in the army so he was up by 5am but would sleep in the car when ever he could like after pt, at lunch, when ever he had down time but couldnt make it home. Many days as soon as he got home he would take his boots off and pass out on the couch(at 6pm), and I would struggle to get him to go sleep in bed. He would be asleep until work the next morning. 

Weekends he would sleep ALL day be up all night and usually stay up sunday night until work on monday, come home and sleep until work tuesday morning.

Just as he was getting ready to deploy the last time he was finally given time to go to more than just the PA. All they gave him were "sleep exersizes". They didnt work at all. Then he deployed, then he got out. 

Now Im working and he is staying home. In the last month things have gotten exponential worse. Most mornings he manages to get up enough to get the kids(5 and 3) cereal and fall asleep on the couch the is actually up by 2pm. More frequently though Im coming home at 9am(I work in peoples home and sometimes have time inbetween clients) and he is still very much passed out in bed. The boys are usually just watching netflix or playing minecraft(5yr old knows how to work the xbox). but the 3yr old gets in to stuff. Like he took his poopy diaper off and threw it away and put underwear on, still with poo on his but. He destroyed what was left of his birthday cake. He eats food out of the fridge he not supposed to(hes lactose intolerant). 

Not only all this, but its making me resent him. I work, I come home and he is still asleep. I work late, I come home and he is awake but stays up until 4am and wants me to stay up and spend time with him. Im pregnant and exausted. I havent gone to sleep with him about a month. Days I am not working are spent "alone" because he sleeps all day. We dont get anything done because I cant do all of it myself being pregnant, but then he talkes about how we need to get xyz done(most of it is organizing our house and getting rid of things and moving big boxes.

Here is my issue. Its hard to express how I feel to him because I know he is having a hard time with it. He cant control it. I cant "bitch" at him about it(not that I would, i dont do that) because he cant control it. But Ive had enough. He isnt going to the doctor, he procrastinates about it way to much, just like everything else. He says he will do it but then ends up sleeping all day when he has a "free" day. He wants to start working again and not being a stay at home dad but honestly how is he going to do that if he cant even wake up to watch our kids!!!
 Half the time I feel like I might as well be single, I wouldnt be counting on someone only to be let down KWIM.

by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 8:09 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-4):
by Gold Member on Jan. 14, 2013 at 8:15 PM


by Member on Jan. 15, 2013 at 1:36 AM
Does he snore or gasp during sleep? I have sleep apnea, and his continued exhaustion sounds a lot like me before treatment. You constantly stop breathing during sleep, so you never actually get a full night's rest no matter how long you're in bed.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Jan. 15, 2013 at 1:38 AM
Make the Dr appt for him.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by Platinum Member on Jan. 15, 2013 at 1:39 AM

Can he do a sleep study?  DH did that and they determined he had some sinus issues.  He had some minor surgery and now doesn't snore and sleeps very normal.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)