Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Heart broken and pissed *** Update #8*** Sorry it took so long : (

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I'm so heart broken DH is out of town for work and I found out his OW is joining him. He told me he was going to be in meetings all day and very busy until Friday, that if I needed him to text not call.  But he will call and say good night to the kids. We havent talked all day. When it came time for the kids to go to bed he still hadn't call; so I tried calling him/texting him so they can say good night no answer, I tried a little later his phone goes straight to voice mail.  I even tried his hotel room no answer. So of course I got suspicious and I looked at the phone records and emails and found her email to him with her flight info going to where he is and saying she cant wait to see him at the airport. But she knows they have to be careful and not be seen and need to act like nothing is going on because his co-workers like to talk.  F***ing P.O.S.

Update- After a very restless and sleepless night....still haven't heard from him no call, text, email nothing.  

Update#2- Well I got my kids off to school and I had to dodge the questions: why didn't daddy call last night, why is your face so puffy. I put on my brave face and said that mommy was tired and didnt feel well and that daddy was working and probably will call tonight. This is totally unacceptable I am LIVID.

Update#3- I sent him an email Ietting him know that he needs to call home I put 911 in the subject line. I finally received a reply from him saying that he is in a conference, he's doing fine and he will call me later (his phone is still turned off). Yeah right....so why not plug it up and call now instead of sending an email. I didnt respond to his email.  I dont plan on telling him or letting him know I know whats going on. This is something that needs to be handled face to face.

Update #4- Well I havent heard from him since his email, even though I put 911 and for him to call home. I called his phone and still no answer (he did turn it on).  I just called his office and was told that the conference ended yesterday ...WHAT!!!  He told me Friday. I was also told he was going to be out of the office til Mon ...this is some bullshit!!!  Im so pissed I'm shaking inside.

 Update #5- It's 5AM--I still haven't talked to him. NOTHING at all!! My kids keep asking me why daddy hasn't called them, all I keep telling them is that daddy is very tired from work and will call soon.  That fucking piece of shit is making me lie to my kids to cover his cheating ass!!! My heart is breaking for them and at the same time I'm just beyond pissed. This is making me sick literally. I looked up some lawyers and Im gonna make some phone calls today. After doing some digging and I found out that she is in the military also, just in a different section and an Officer. My stbex dh is a NCO.  I'm so tempted to tell his C.O. but I don't want to mess with my kids money and benefits, not until I get my plan together and in motion.  I also talked with my parents and they said I could come back.

Update#6- OMG!!!  I kept digging and found out that this has been going on for almost 2yrs!!! I found more airline reservations, emails, naked pics, IM's, video chat shots. Apparently this isnt the 1st trip they have been on there has been a few. When he would go away for classes, training and conferences she was there also. What hurts and kills me the most is that I had to have a complete hysterectomy and had complications.  While I was in there for an extra week he was IM her and chatting with her. All the while I wasn't for sure if I was gonna live or die he was talking with her. He wouldn't come to the hospital til close to the afternoon and leave a couple hours later saying he was going to get the kids. Im so disgusted and totally crushed. I can't stop crying and throwing up. I FEEL SO STUPID!!!!

Update #7- Today was a rought day : (  He still hasn't called or text.  I called a few lawyers but no one was available so I have an appointment Weds at 10 am.  Tonight I'm not gonna focus on him (at least Im gonna try).  I'm watching movies and eating popcorn with my little ones. I have a friend picking them up tomorrow and taking them rollerskating and out to eat so I can get ready for him.  

Update #8 - Well he came home acting like nothing was going on and he was so tired. I said hello. He said hi where are the kids. I told him they were out with _____ so we can have some alone time. He gave me a look and smiled Like he knew he was gonna get some.  Trying to hug and kiss me UM hell NO!!! I then asked him why didn't he answer my calls or texts. He told me his phone completely shut down and he couldn't get it booted back up. I asked him why couldn't he use the hotel phone or someone else's. He said that he was so tired when he got back to the hotel that he just wanted to sleep. I told him I put 911 didn't he think he needed to call home. He again said he was just so tired that he was swamped with paperwork, meetings that all he wanted to do was sleep when he got back. He said that they had him working up to the end. I said oh really, Well why was MSG______ back already and that I was informed that the conference ended days ago. He just looked and said what are you talking about. Then I handed him the envelope with her emails and pics. I thought he was gonna pass out. He asked me where did I get these from, I was like don't worry about it. He started with the Babe its not what you think, she came on to me. She is just a friend really just a friend,  I told him if she was just a friend why did you lie about her, if she is just a friend why is she sending you pics with her legs open saying this is all for you. If she is just your friend why are you chatting and texting her everyday, especially while I'm in the hospital fighting for my life. If she is just a friend why is she traveling to see you when you go away sometimes. If she is just your friend why is she saying she cant wait to see you. Then he tried the sob story about he is sorry;  he just got caught up and didn't know what to do. That he loves me and our family. I screamed as loud as I could in his face BULLSHIT!!!  You are not sorry!  You did and are doing what you want to do. That he was the most selfish nasty asshole I know!!  That they both were nasty as hell. I told him I cant believe you put getting some P**** in front of your kids That he put his nasty bitch whore in front of his family. It seemed like he got offended when I called her a whore, and told me she is not a whore. I told him 1st of all I know damn well you are not standing in my house defending that WHORE!!  2nd what would you call her she is fucking you a married man AND she is living with her daughters father. She is a nasty whore bitch. And he was even nasiter for fucking with her. I then told him that I was going to let his CO and hers know how I feel too. He comes at me with Babe you know I can get in serious trouble, blah blah I worked so hard on my career. You should've thought of that before you started with this nasty bitch. You was thinking with the wrong head. He then tried to flip the script and tell me its my fault. If I wasn't going thru his things then I wouldn't have found nothing. That I was nosey. I laughed in his face and said really that's all you got  I'm nosey, Really????  I told him it was time for him to get his nasty ass out of my house.  He said he wasn't leaving til he saw his kids. I asked him was he for real. He wasn't  thinking about them while he was laying up with his nasty whore getting a BJ......get the f*** out now!  He just looked at me for a while then left.  I told him that I hope they both rot in hell.

He staying at a hotel, who knows she is probably with him. He kept calling last night asking to speak to the kids, but I told him they were sleep (selfish I know). I turned the ringers off and blocked him from my cell,  I HATE HIM!!! I hate him for doing this to my kids and to us. Now I have to figure out what to tell my kids, why daddy is coming home. I'm so sick to my stomach. I'm so tired of crying over this lying cheating nasty ass!!!!!

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 15, 2013 at 9:06 PM
Replies (841-850):
Michelle_R
by on Jan. 22, 2013 at 4:19 PM

hugsIm So Sorry, i hope things get better!!

teeliner
by on Jan. 22, 2013 at 4:28 PM

Oh yes! But the OW being an officer will be in much more trouble. I wonder if she is married too? If he is enlisted her a** is toast! The Military DOES not stand for cheating. But you have to have proof. They can both loose pay checks & loss of rank or be denied rank for a certain amount of time. Grrrr. My heart breaks. I went through the samething. 23+ of marriage to a Military man...but he retired then cheated so I couldnt do anything when it came to the Military. 

Quoting EAzizM:

Can't he get in alot of trouble for being a cheating pos??

Quoting Anonymous:

He's in the military.


Quoting Stacey2506:


Oh wow. What does your husband do for a living?




tlcory
by Platinum Member on Jan. 22, 2013 at 4:38 PM

So sorry honey! I know it doesn't really help but here is a {{{HUG}}} for you! I do understand the pain you are going through, you and only you can decide what you want to do at this point....1) try and make it work get marriage counseling etc. or 2) Move on with your life without him.  Whatever you decide try to stay the bigger person and stay civil for your children's sake, plus this will drive him crazy if you stay calm and non emotional around him! Whatever you decide my prayers are with you! 

teeliner
by on Jan. 22, 2013 at 4:45 PM

This is so very true. Hold your head as high as you can. Be the good one. I hated being the "good One" but it did work out for the best for me. I continued to monitor everything, annotate every conversation, dates, time, emails, phone, spending....everything........It took a year & its was so so so painful seeing charges for airplane tickets for his "whore". (He protected his whore too!. WTHeck?..."don't call her a whore.....Ummmmm cheater, liar, pos.....is that better?) Please have either a family member or a friend come stay with you. He needs to live with a friend because hes making more bills for you (less money in the end) by staying in a hotel. Please, Please have a friend over. I would have lost my mind without my friends. My mom did fly out for a month & my brother too. I just want to fly there & help you out & help you protect yourself & your babies. BUT you can not do this alone. Its up to you how you want to communicate. You have done nothing wrong! He is a coward. I had cancer when mine decided to leave. I'm with you sister. Your rules now. Breath as best as you can. Your a secret agent now. This is your full time job to protect you & yours. If you need to cry...its OK. If you need to scream...its ok. Can you go see Behavioral Health with your children?

Quoting Anonymous:

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I hesitate to give my opinion at this time. You need support more than advice.
Just stay rational in case worse comes to worse. Revenge will feel good until you end up in court where it'll bite you in the ass.


jenmomx3
by Silver Member on Jan. 22, 2013 at 4:53 PM
2 moms liked this

I really don't think that you should go to his command...the reason why is because  messing with HIS money, messes with your money...If he loses rank thats money out of yours and your children's pocket...why do that?? I know that you and hurt, and angry (trust  me  I KNOW), but at the end of the day, you need to think....Don't act on  your emotions right now(and I know that is WAAAAYYYY easier said than done), but do whats smart.  You have all that  you need to get a divorce, child support, and spousal support...so do that....And as far as the other woman is concerned....let her have his nasty ass....don't even sweat it.  Someone that is that shitty of a person that won't call and check on their own children, deserves to be with a nasty chick with no morals and values...find someone BETTER.....you can do it....its definitely not going to be easy, but you can definitely do it....and not to wish bad luck on you, but you may end up forgiving him one day, and trying to work things out...so why mess with his career in the meantime???  I know you want him to pay and to suffer for what he did to you, but hurting his pockets and his career is going to end up hurting you too....think about it.

SuperJo
by Silver Member on Jan. 22, 2013 at 8:58 PM
This.

Quoting teeliner:

This is so very true. Hold your head as high as you can. Be the good one. I hated being the "good One" but it did work out for the best for me. I continued to monitor everything, annotate every conversation, dates, time, emails, phone, spending....everything........It took a year & its was so so so painful seeing charges for airplane tickets for his "whore". (He protected his whore too!. WTHeck?..."don't call her a whore.....Ummmmm cheater, liar, pos.....is that better?) Please have either a family member or a friend come stay with you. He needs to live with a friend because hes making more bills for you (less money in the end) by staying in a hotel. Please, Please have a friend over. I would have lost my mind without my friends. My mom did fly out for a month & my brother too. I just want to fly there & help you out & help you protect yourself & your babies. BUT you can not do this alone. Its up to you how you want to communicate. You have done nothing wrong! He is a coward. I had cancer when mine decided to leave. I'm with you sister. Your rules now. Breath as best as you can. Your a secret agent now. This is your full time job to protect you & yours. If you need to cry...its OK. If you need to scream...its ok. Can you go see Behavioral Health with your children?

Quoting Anonymous:

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I hesitate to give my opinion at this time. You need support more than advice.

Just stay rational in case worse comes to worse. Revenge will feel good until you end up in court where it'll bite you in the ass.


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
mybabiesmom1
by on Jan. 22, 2013 at 9:20 PM

he seriously said it was your fault that he can't keep it in his pants?! Doesn't sound like he really cared until he was caught. I would report him unless it would mess with your kids benefits, just demand everything in the divorce.

hugs

3gr8tKids
by Gold Member on Jan. 23, 2013 at 8:03 AM
I realize you have more important things 5o deal with... but do you have any UPDATES?
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 23, 2013 at 8:12 AM

I would tell everybody I know that he's a dirty rotten cheating prick.

Beenhereforever
by Gold Member on Jan. 23, 2013 at 10:20 AM
Update?
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)



Featured