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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Putting my foot down. -Sex related-

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 62 Replies
Back story. Dh and I have been together for over 5 years. He was a good Mormon boy until he met me. We were each other's first. I was 18 and he was 24.
He's always been "weird" about sex. Completely normal things he saw as taboo of some sort. (For example, for the longest time he didnt want me to see or touch his sperm. Weird huh?).
We lived a little far away so until we got married we only saw each other on the weekends. With a little talking, he started to be a little more open minded sexually. We actually tried fun different positions all the time. He never lasted long but at least it was fun. I just figured he'd get better in time. He did oral on me once and said he didn't like it (mind you, I've ALWAYS been super clean down there. Never even had as much as an UTI or anything like that. I just assumed it was one of his weird taboos since he was adamant to try it).
Fast forward over 5 years and sex is sooo freaking boring! That is when we actually HAVE sex. He always has an excuse. He's too tired. Works has him stressed out. Kids have him stressed out, etc.
I've had MANY talks throughout the years about sex and how I should be as important as he is (for the first year or two it was only him who got off and then it was all over. Talk about being sexually frustrated! !). So this is how sex goes. He gets me off with his fingers (nothing fancy, just clitoral play), then its me on the top for the next 5 min or so until he gets off. Thats it.
Common! Im 24 years old. I NEED more. I've talked and talked with him but nothing gets done. Heck, I don't even get doggy style anymore!
I know I could finish vaginally if it wasnt because he finishes so freaking fast. And the times he tries not to I end up telling himjust to do it because he has to stop every couple of seconds so I ddon't get anywwhere anyway.

So... since im too pregnant and havent had sex in probably over 2 months I've decided im done. Its worst the feeling of sexual frustration than not having sex. I can get off myself just fine and im thinking I'll buy a toy because I do miss penetration. Im tired of trying to talk andhope things get better and they just never do. After 5 years I doubt anything will change and im not divorcing him or cheating on him so this is my solution. Blah. This sucks. Just needed to vent. Being pregnant, horny and having no sex just sucks. I should find a good toy for myself. Any suggestions? Nothing too crazy. Just something that looks and feels like a nice penis. I don't need any of the crazy/fancy toys.
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 16, 2013 at 7:55 PM
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Replies (1-10):
terpmama
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 7:59 PM

have you tried a sex therapist?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 16, 2013 at 8:01 PM
No. I doubt he'd ever go to one. He just says his sex drive isnt as high as mine and he's tired from work and stuff.

Quoting terpmama:

have you tried a sex therapist?

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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 16, 2013 at 8:03 PM
Bump
terpmama
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 8:03 PM
1 mom liked this

could be low testosterone... has he talked to his doc?


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 16, 2013 at 8:07 PM
I don't know. He never talked to a dr. He doesnt think there a problem per se, just thats the way he is.
We've conceived our kids on the very first try though without any problems (not sure if low testosterone would affect fertility but i'd think it does?)

Quoting terpmama:

could be low testosterone... has he talked to his doc?


Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 16, 2013 at 8:09 PM

Lol my fiancé use to say he wasn't that into sex and it wasn't important but then he met me ;)

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 16, 2013 at 8:11 PM
5 moms liked this
Aww how cute. Thanks for your super helpful comment.

Quoting Anonymous:

Lol my fiancé use to say he wasn't that into sex and it wasn't important but then he met me ;)

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 16, 2013 at 8:13 PM
Bump
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 16, 2013 at 8:20 PM
Bump
tifbrown
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 8:21 PM

Um, is he possibly gay, or maybe asexual? Definitely get yourself a toy, but don't give up. You committed to a lifetime with him and as you said you aren't going anywhere. So, keep at it, but take care of yourself in the mean time. 

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