Hurt - maybe I shouldn't be, but I am. Can't stop crying - Update
My son is 5 years old. From the time he was born until the time he was 3, my sister in law and brother were extremely involved in his life. To the point that I asked them to take him if something was to ever happen to me.
Weekends, evening, holiday's - he was the favorite. It was obvious to everyone. They don't have any children, she can't. She was in the delivery room with me when he was born, holding my hand and coaching me through it.
Shortly before the age of 3, I started seeing some problems in my son. Hyper all the time, behavior problems, extreme temper tantrums, meltdowns etc.
Slowly, people started to pull out of our lives, because of his behavior. My mom told me that she wouldn't babysit him anymore, and that I had to enroll him in daycare.
My mother in law would ask for my step daughter and completely ignore the fact that my son was standing right there asking if he could go too
My sister would offer to keep him, to give me a break and after she canceled on me of the 11th or 12th time, I just stopped responding when she would ask. She hasn't babysat him in well over 18 months now. Not even for an hour or two between shift changes for me and my husband.
My husbands family talked shit all over facebook about what a horrible mother I must be
But what hurt the most was my sister in law - one day she just didn't call, then she didn't return my call - then she stopped asking about him
Then came the diagnosis. ADHD-C, ODD, Emotional Dysregulation, Mood Disorder - NOS and Social Delays.
I told my sister in law - she said she didn't even know what to say.
Then tonight, she sent me an email and told me that she was sorry for pulling away, but that she didn't think she could handle my son's meltdowns, so she couldn't be with him alone
We have been doing medication, therapy, and extreme parenting changes and his behavior has done a complete 180.
It really hurts to have people tell you that they don't want to spend time with your child because he has disorders/delays - when for most of his life, those people were extremely involved.
It really hurts to be told that your sons delays are harder to handle than THREE kids together
I can't stop crying. He's such an amazing child - and no one wants to get to know him.
Thank you all for all of the support last night. I was an emotional wreck. I'm at work now, and I'm focusing on other things - so I am better. I just needed to get it all out last night.
My son is absolutely amazing. He really is. He wants to be in the Navy when he grows up. He is extremely into the Titanic. He can tell you how many people died when the Titanic sank, that the carpathia was the ship that came to help the people in the life boats, where exactly the titanic broke in half, when it departed, where it departed from etc.
He is also completely memorized by the solar system - he can and will tell anyone who will listen about why Pluto is not a planet, and the moons of Jupiter, all about the space ship that recently went to Mars
During Hurricane sandy, he was more informed than I was about the storm - it was amazing.
He gives these silly kisses, and the best hugs, he's so sensitive to the needs of others
He just struggles with typical social behaviors, hyperactivity and indirect commands
I emailed his psychologist about a play group or other social group for children with psychological/emotional problems
So we shall see what happens from there.