My husband won't stop...

[Anonymous]

Changing my iCloud settings on my phone so he can see my text messages and safari history. I'm sick of it, I had an emotional affair two years ago and he is still constantly in my business. He can already look at my phone whenever he wants and look at my phone bill online to see who I talk to. He knows I haven't talked to the other guy. I just can't take anymore of this... He's out of control with jealousy

[MumsTheWord571]

and yet, if the tables were turned people here would say that if HE were getting upset about her snooping, then he would really have something to hide and is sneaking around again. so I disagree. He has every right to be suspicious. they need to go to therapy to work on these issues if they want to have a chance to make this work.

Quoting xtina8817:

These woman is stupid. If he forgave you then he needs to move on. Looking through your stuff will not make him trust you. You still have a right to privacy and he doesn't have a right to snoop. Sit down and talk about boundaries. If he can't take it then he needs to leave because neither of you will be happy

[Anonymous]

same here, its been five years for me though.

Quoting Anonymous:

I still search through dh's things, its not an easy thing to get through. If you love him and want to continue the marriage, let him.

[xtina8817]

Quoting MumsTheWord571:

I've been on both sides. A marriage counselor TOLD us we had to stop snooping because it DOES NOT FIX ANYTHING. If anything it makes it worse. If you have to snoop, the relationship is already over. This just frustrates the other person and 9 times out of 10 they'll say "they assume I'm cheating anyway so fuck it"

[Anonymous]

Cant turn a hoe into a housewife! Hoes dont act right!

[MumsTheWord571]

which is why I said that they need to go to therapy. Obviously, he doesn't trust her and she needs to understand where he is coming from- and how to alleviate his distrust and work on the relationship. Without the therapy, they won't be able to survive as a couple.

Quoting xtina8817:

Quoting MumsTheWord571:

I've been on both sides. A marriage counselor TOLD us we had to stop snooping because it DOES NOT FIX ANYTHING. If anything it makes it worse. If you have to snoop, the relationship is already over. This just frustrates the other person and 9 times out of 10 they'll say "they assume I'm cheating anyway so fuck it"

[armywife009]

That would not go well with me.

I cheated on dh six years ago and only once has he ever gotten concerned enough to ask me about something. I understand everyone acts differently. But you need to tell him that this is not acceptable, no matter what you did. I understand he may still be hurt, but doing what he is doing is not right.

[xtina8817]

Quoting MumsTheWord571:

I definitely agree with the therapy. And I keep thinking your siggy is your reply to my posts lol

[Una75]

Ha! You sound like my SO after he fucked up.

Broken trust is like broken glass...you can put the pieces back together, but it'll never be the same.

Deal with it.

[LisaSmock]

Ya

Quoting Amy_M:

You made your bed, now lie in it.  You chose to cheat, so deal with the consequences.

[LiliM]

This means you have not done what you need to in order for him to be secure.  My uncle cheated, and their therapist told him for as long as my aunt wanted, she could ask questions, search belongings, see passwords, whatever she needed.

Deciding how long has been long enough is not YOUR call, since you did the cheating.  It's the call of the person whom you are still lucky enough to be with.