My husband won't stop...

[Anonymous]

Changing my iCloud settings on my phone so he can see my text messages and safari history. I'm sick of it, I had an emotional affair two years ago and he is still constantly in my business. He can already look at my phone whenever he wants and look at my phone bill online to see who I talk to. He knows I haven't talked to the other guy. I just can't take anymore of this... He's out of control with jealousy

[zianneaaliyah]

No, he's out of control with insecurity, that you happen to cause and you're the one complaining? Trust is something that takes a long time to get back and the fact that you are already complaining about something so insignificant leads to believe you aren't worth the trouble to try to continue a trustworthy faithful relationship with. Put the poor man out of his misery and leave if him changing your iCloud settings is irritating you that much. 

[AmaliaD]

sound like you never fixed the problem you created two years ago - if you still havent earned his trust back - that is a long time... you might want to just walk away because its better than living with someone constantly doubting you when you know you arent doing anything wrong.   

[tinkerbellbay]

But you gave him reason to act that way!  

[Anonymous]

Ok here is my friendly advice. I was in your shoes...i had a physical affair on dh 2 yrs ago. And it was hard......really hard. Every day i would get accused of something, if i deleted messages to save space i was hiding something, if i called a strange number and couldnt remember who i called 3 days ago i was hiding something. The snooping through my phone checking my email checking my fb checking my cm i lived through it. For a whole year i relived the pain of what i did, on top of living with the pain of losing my dad. I met a new friend and she was my life saver. I give her credit to helping us fix our relationship. She talked to him...undisclosed....i didnt know most of what they talked about. She told me a few times what they talked about he told me a few times what they talked about. All i knew was our relationship was getting better. I went with it, we were talking again, cuddling again, laughing, everything we once did we were doing again. All with in about 4 months of us talking to OUR friend. :) so come to find out the with in them talking she told him that for him to truely let go and have a chan e to be happy again (because he chose to stay) that he would need to stop bring it up, yes he would still have the feelings of distrust but to not ask questions about it or think about something else. Eventually he stopped all together. I know there are times where he has a bad day and hes been thinking about it again but i try to avoid conflict on those days keep the kids quiet, do what i need to to keep the house running. Its been 2 years and the pain that i caused him and myself, i cant believe i did such a thing to the man i love. I can honetly say i will never do it again because i saw the hurt in his eyes and saw his heart break before me and in turn it shattered my heart! Good luck to you! I hope i have enlightened you.

[EarlGrayHot]

I think it would take a long time tomget over your wife (or hubby) having an affair.  Why not ask him what you can do to ease his fears.  I have to agree you have given him reason so talk this out with him.

[svolkov]

you shouldnt have cheated then, sorry but you brought it on yourself. hope it gets better soon. have you guys tried counseling?

[jambi10]

I would feel the same way as ur husband...no offense our anything, but u brought it on ur self. At last he loves u enough to care, he could havejust left and been done with it....

[yinyang6788]

at least he cares

[CrystalPystol]

You reap what you sow.

[buttercup627]

The whole "you made your bed..." Is BS. Yes you had an affair and hurt him and your relationship BUT for whatever reason he chose to stay with you and work things out. To me that means he needs to forgive and move on, trust is hard to rebuild but not impossible and if after 2 years he still can't accept and move on then perhaps you should.