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Just an fyi, you bitches can't have it both fucking ways!

You can't say a sm has to love her stepchildren, treat them as their own and care for them, then say they have no right to opinions or input. Bottom line is your kids lives often affect the stepmothers life as well. Stepmoms have a right to "call the shots" in what affects their lives. They have a right to say what goes on in their homes. Don't like it? Too damn bad.
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 17, 2013 at 11:54 AM
Replies (101-110):
by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 1:19 PM

 Thank you!!!

by Anonymous 20 on Jan. 17, 2013 at 1:19 PM

I agree BM could become a big bitch and not allow GF to have anything to say or do. It would be different if she was his wife but shes just the gf. My df and me have already talked about what will happen when SD starts school. I will be involved just as much or not more as BM because I will still be a SAHM so it would be best and the fact that SD will probarly be living with us so that her and my DS can go to the same school but we arent sure. Your brother needs to put his foot up GFs ass about the way shes acting because if I was the ex my foot would of been up her ass a long time ago acting the way she (gf) is.

Quoting Anonymous:

 My brother's has 2 children to a past realtionship. He has primary costudy during school year he has them and she has visitations. she gets summer. His live in GF gets her ass in a knott when she (gf) is not invited to the parent/teacher meetings for the kids, she get's real pissy with everyone! She started to force her way (GF) in to the meetings... my brother's ex asked for her to wait in the hall while the talked to the teacher, GF got heated ... brother's EX told her it is a PARENT /TEACHER meeting your just a live in.  My brother's EX handed a papper to my brother and the school that states she (gf) is not alowed to attend the meetings. GF called me cry'n about how my brother sided with EX.. and how she does this and that for the kids and since they live with her it should be their rules... My reply "you must have missed the memo, just becasue you guys have the kids mostly, doesn"t mean you are the controller, keep acting like this and you she could take you guys to court".

by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 1:20 PM

 lol not apt for violence low tolerance for bitchy attitudes...seriously did you read her OP. she's a piece of work, that one.

Quoting Anonymous:

Proof of the Bio mothers apt for violence...tisk tisk

Quoting mary841108:

 well thankfully my kids dont have a step mother because if she acted like you bitch would be getting knocked the fuck out.


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by Anonymous 26 on Jan. 17, 2013 at 1:20 PM
Stepmotherz are nothing but second rate citizens.
by Gold Member on Jan. 17, 2013 at 1:20 PM

  My philosophy is my house my rules, dad's house, dad's rules, and if there is a step mom there in the future she naturally will have a say in the rules too. I don't necesarilly love that idea, because I have no say in what kind of person xh will choose to be a part of my kids' lives, but it's the way it is. If I really had a problem with how things were in their house I would go to court and try to change the custody arrangement, but beyond that, I wouldn't feel like I could dictate how they run their house.

   I was a step mom for a decade, and pretty much raised my step son, from age 4-14. BM and I had a LOT of problems over the years. I am not a psychologist, but based on how they act I suspect her and her mother (the grandma of my ss) are both bi polar, both (not to mention the uncles who also lived with BM), were emotionally, mentally and physically abusive to ss, which is why he mostly lived with us, and she always felt like I was trying to take her place, (which I wasn't), but SOMEBODY had to show that poor kid how you are supposed to be treated when someone loves you.

  I never bad mouthed her in front of ss, not that she returned that favor, but I feel that it's not right to bad mouth a child's other parent to them.

by Platinum Member on Jan. 17, 2013 at 1:21 PM
1 mom liked this
I don't care either way because I'm not affected by this BUT I just wanted to say how happy I am to see perfect grammar, spelling and proper usage of affect vs. effect.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by Anonymous 27 on Jan. 17, 2013 at 1:21 PM
Really all a sm can do is make the rules in her home with the child's father. No, you do not call the shots on your own where your husbands children are involved. What's hard to understand about that?
by Member on Jan. 17, 2013 at 1:23 PM

 you cant expect the bm to respect the sm opinions if the bd doesn't

by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 1:23 PM
im a control freak when it comes to ds. Thats one of the reasons im a sahm. Its a good thing dh and i arent concidering divorce anytime soon. Im sure if ds had a sm she would hate me. Oh well.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 1:26 PM

This is exactly it.

Quoting SnapIt:

You also have to understand the reason why some SMs come off the way they do.

Sometimes its the BM who got on the defense first. Being these are her kids she will do anything to protect them, right? So if she comes off combative from the start, she thinks she will gain respect this way and protect her kids. Who wants to give respect to someone who didnt give them a chance/respect from the start? A lot of times the riff between exs is still going and the BM will then take it out on the new woman in ex hubs life. If that woman becomes the exs spouse, BM will continue her wrath. Not healthy thats for sure. Not for ex, not for new person, not for the kids and not for BM. 

If BM went on the defense first, it could be why SM is also on the defense. Someone started the friction first and since kids are involved, usually its the BM who did first. And sometimes its the other way and its BD starting it with BM new man. Either way the new person is placed in the middle. BM wont fess up to it because they dont want to be view as the bad guy and they are on the inside looking out.

Quoting mary841108:

 well as i've said, thankfully i dont see a divorce happening anytime soon. i'm sure if the SM didnt have the attitude that OP did there wouldnt be an issue. but just the way OP came across in her post, if that was what my husband married oh there would be BIG time issues.

Quoting SnapIt:

Its so crystal how you would be as a ex

youre so transparent at the moment. You would not only make your ex hubs life and childrens lives miserable, you would make your own life miserable as well. If momma aint happy, no one will be happy

Veeeery mature..... and a waste of time. 

Youre bitter of your past and you carried it til now. Someone didnt teach you how to be happy, didnt show you that their issue werent yours to be burdened with even though mommy and daddy were no longer together. You sat on the bitter bus ride with one of your parents. 

If exs would just let go.... things could run much smoother in a lot of households.

Letting go doesnt mean  giving up your kids, it means make your own life happy, so your kids won't grow up bitter and feeling unloved or dominated by a SP.

Quoting mary841108:

 well if the SM acted like you that wouldnt be an issue because they would never be around you so it is a moot point. like i said my husband and i are still happily married, he knows how i feel about the whole step parent issue and i dont see it ever being an issue

Quoting Anonymous:

I have zero desire to be their mother. I have my own children tyvm. If I wanted to be mommy to more, I would have more. But I don't.

So if I'm nothing I suppose its safe to say you'd prefer your kids be excluded, not cared for, ignored, and not dealt with. Right?

Quoting mary841108:

you are nothing to those children than the other woman that married their dad that is it. your say and opinions are very limited. You do not have custody of those children, you didnt give birth to them. if you want to play mommy and make decisions then have your own kids and leave your husbands children alone. thank god my husband and I are still married because there would be some major issues. get over yourself you are not those childrens mother

Quoting Anonymous:

And you'd be in jail. Must suck to be so self defeating b

Quoting mary841108:

 well thankfully my kids dont have a step mother because if she acted like you bitch would be getting knocked the fuck out.




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