Am I really doing it wrong? Need some support here.
Okay, I'll try to keep this short. When my DH and I bought our mini-van we were not married and because I was not working the loan company didn't want me on the loan. We tried to refinance last October and the new company was saying that we needed to do certain things through the DMV and the first loan company well, my DH was working all the time then and couldn't get to the DMV or even contact the loan company during the week, so we went beyond the 30 day limit the second finance company had alotted us and ended up missing a payment with our actual loan company. Then my DH hurt his arm and hasn't been working as much and money has been really tight, so we missed another payment in November. I tried setting up payment arrangements with the loan company and unfortunately we just didn't have the money, we managed to make one payment, but we're still two payments behind. Now they're saying that it's going to go to the repossession department, so out of desperation I called my parents to see if we could borrow the money (I rarely ask my parents for anything, not because they won't help, but because I just hate borrowing money).
Anyway, my dad gave me this whole lecture about my DH needing to get off his ass and take care of these financial issues because since I'm not on the loan I can't handle any of things at the DMV, but I can discuss things with the loan company since my husband okayed it back when we initially bought the car. I'm in tears because yes, I agree my DH needs to be more active in the budget and bills but he's never been and I've always just paid the bills and taken care of things. It's worked for us in the past, and now my dad has just made me bawl my eyes out because he thinks my DH is worthless and just sits there like a bump on a log. I try to make things easier for my husband, he has a high stress job and things haven't gotten easier for him now that he's hurt his arm and is on light duty at work and he's worried about whether we'll even make enough money to pay rent. I've cut our bills everywhere except the internet and our cell phones (which are on a two year contract and would cost us more to cancel than it would to pay monthly).
My father says my DH should have been the one to call them and ask for money. I disagree because I know my family better. Am I overprotecting my DH? Am I just stupid for trying to carry this by myself? I mean, I do talk to DH and we try to come up with solutions together. He's aware of the situation, but I'm the problem solver and always have been...I think if I'd left it in DH's hands our van would have been repossessed a long time ago because he would have avoided trying to find a solution.
Do you and your SO/DH budget together or do one or the other of you handle all the bills? What works for you and why does it work?