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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

UPDATE, we talked.*****I think he wants me to be a sahm

Posted by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 1:48 PM
  • 42 Replies

******we aren't military, he works for an oil company*****

But he won't actually say it, he just drops hints....or so I think and I'm not sure how I feel about that.

It was ingrained in my head that I was to never depend on a man so even the thought of staying at home scares me.

His job is transferring him down to corpus for about a year and his concern is we would lose my pay if we were to move down there. I mentioned looking for a job down there and he said it would be hard to get a job since I'm not bilingual. I told him a concern I had was moving 4 hours away from my friends and family and he told me I could drive up during the week and stay with family for a day or two whenever I got homesick.

Then later on in the conversation we were talking about our eventual move to Korea and he reminded me that I couldn't have a job there because I'd need a work visa and maybe corpus will be the transition I need to help me be a sahm so when we get to Korea I won't be so miserable.

We have talked extensively about what I will do once we get married and I've always said I want to work, and it's not just because my grandmother has drilled it into me that I shouldn't depend on a man. I like the adult interaction that comes from a job outside of the house. I like the daily grind. I enjoy working and I don't think I'm cut out to be a sahm. He's always agreed with me when we talk about that subject but Im beginning to wonder if he just agrees with me because I've been so vocal about my feelings on it. Even if I was to ask him right now what he wanted he would skirt around the issue and tell me he wants whatever makes me happy.

Am I reading too much into his comments? I know I have a tendency to do that but am I really doing that now or is he dropping hints?



UPDATE:

so I just got off the phone with him (he's out of town) and he said no he doesn't want that, he wants whatever I want. Whatever will make me happy.
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by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 1:48 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Roxygurl
by Emerald Member on Jan. 17, 2013 at 1:51 PM
Bump
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mcclainprincess
by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 1:51 PM
He could be dropping hints to you. There are some men who want their woman at home. Have you confronted him about it?

Btw, i agree with never being dependent on a man. Although some would strongly disagree.
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mcwife86
by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 1:52 PM

well have you looked into the military bases in Korea? if you are near one you could prob get a job there since you would still be an American citizen..I'm assuming.

Roxygurl
by Emerald Member on Jan. 17, 2013 at 1:53 PM
He's not in the military and I don't believe we will be anywhere close to a military base when we move there.

Quoting mcwife86:

well have you looked into the military bases in Korea? if you are near one you could prob get a job there since you would still be an American citizen..I'm assuming.

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sthflachk
by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 1:55 PM
Just tell him if you become a sahm you want a weekly, or biweekly since he's military, stipend to save or spend as you wish. Then you have your own money free and clear.

I would never be a sahm without at least that.
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Roxygurl
by Emerald Member on Jan. 17, 2013 at 1:55 PM
I could flat out say "babe do you want me to be a sahm or work?" And he won't give me a direct answer. He will say something along the lines of OHHH whatever you think babe.



Quoting mcclainprincess:

He could be dropping hints to you. There are some men who want their woman at home. Have you confronted him about it?



Btw, i agree with never being dependent on a man. Although some would strongly disagree.
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Roxygurl
by Emerald Member on Jan. 17, 2013 at 1:56 PM
He isn't military and I wouldn't ever ask for an allowance.

Quoting sthflachk:

Just tell him if you become a sahm you want a weekly, or biweekly since he's military, stipend to save or spend as you wish. Then you have your own money free and clear.



I would never be a sahm without at least that.
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clp0930
by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 1:56 PM

There's a huge market for ESL teachers in Korea. 

mcwife86
by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 1:58 PM

 

he doesn't have to be for you to work on one. i was just throwing it out there as something to look into if you are determined to work. honestly though it sounds like he is expecting you to stay home then so i guess yall got some stuff to work out before you make a commitment on paper with marriage. sure wouldsuck if you got married without him commin right out and saying anything and then once he got the ring on you he says he always expected for you to stay home and you ended up miserable. personally i don't find it so bad and will work once our son starts school full time but some aren't so lucky with being ok with it.

Quoting Roxygurl:

He's not in the military and I don't believe we will be anywhere close to a military base when we move there.

Quoting mcwife86:

well have you looked into the military bases in Korea? if you are near one you could prob get a job there since you would still be an American citizen..I'm assuming.


 

adhaodd1child
by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 1:58 PM

I would be a SAHM while his job has you all traveling the world that way the kids have one stable parent in the home. Its not hard to be a SAHm just make sure you keep up your skills by taking classes or something. You can always become a babysitter so your working but not working kwim. Ik its hard to be working then your hubby wants you home but with his job making you all move it would be better.

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