Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

... ya... but it IS a choice for SOME....

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 182 Replies
2 moms liked this

So the biggest argument for the homosexuals is that we can't discriminate because they were "born that way". I put that in quotes because scientifically speaking, that has not been proven. And until it is, it is only a THEORY. And at this point, there is little supporting evidence.

But ultimately, it is the last and final word against the barage of anti-homosexual agendas. You can't hate someone for being born a certain way. You can't argue against their right to do ANYTHING because being genetically predisposed... they didn't CHOSE it. They are victims of their sexuality... and in the most extreme sense, if they could change it and NOT be bullied and badgered, they would. They compare it to skin color, ethnicity and a slew of other things people simply can't help... so our country needed to just learn to accept.

But I have run into my share of homosexual friends and family who will openly admit that they were not "born that way". They chose it. My sister-in-law, for example, will tell you she's a proud lesbian. She says she had searched for good realtionships with men throughout her entire life and found it wanting. Then, she deployed, met a woman, and all of that changed. The relationship aspect is what is most attracting to her. She tends to be a more masculine woman, who either needs an EXTREMELY masculine man, or a femenine man. She doesn't want either of those. So she dates women. Feminine women. She will tell you, it was entirely a choice. But it's a lifestyle she is happy with. And she will ALSO tell you that should the right man come along, and fit her needs, she wouldn't say no. She's not bisexual, she is no longer LOOKING for a man to fit her needs... she's just a lesbian by choice.

So does that make her less of a lesbian? Does that make her "in denial" of who she really was from birth? Does that mean HER rights are not the same as someone "born that way"?

I personally have the UTMOST respect for her CHOOSING to live a life that is against the grain and looked down upon by so many. By standing up for how she feels and by saying "I don't care what you think". But it certainly makes me wonder how many homosexuals are using "I was born this way" as their reason, when really, they can recall making a choice... or they know they made a choice but they'll act like it was a lifestyle of denial before self-realization. I wonder how many are willing to stand up and say "hey you know what? I wasn't born this way, but I'm glad I CHOSE this way."

She's just one example of about half a dozen homosexual friends/family that have told me they CHOSE to be homosexual. That they believe yes, you can be born that way. But no, they were not.

If we're going to accept homosexuality with open arms, we have to be willing to entertain the idea that there will never be PROOF that you can be "born that way". We have to be willing to say, even if you are NOT born that way, even if you DID make a choice, we still support your right to be married.

Are we willing to do that? Are YOU? If you were given cemented proof that there is no possible way to be born homosexual... that everyone who is gay chooses to be gay... would you still support homosexual marriage?

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 17, 2013 at 10:00 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
2ltlmonkeyz
by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 10:01 PM
3 moms liked this

didn't they find some other mammals like penguins are naturally gay ?

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 17, 2013 at 10:01 PM

my brother is gay and he will say he chose that lifestyle and I respect him more than if he had tried to excuse it

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 17, 2013 at 10:08 PM

That's exactly how I feel too. I feel like if you CHOSE this, and you hide behind the "born this way" argument, you are WEAK in your stance for homosexuality. If you can come out to the world, why can't you admit that it was a choice and that you were not born this way? What makes that step so hard?

Or are we letting the homosexual community hide, once again, from their true feelings because admitting it was a choice devalues the entire agenda? If they want to be free to express themselves, why are so many hiding behind an argument that doesn't even apply to them?

I guess my point is, if you are gay, it shouldn't matter if you chose it or not. You are gay. So is the world going to accept that, and let you have rights, or is the world going to fight against it. And further, what is the LGBT community doing to support those that CHOOSE the lifestyle, not just those that feel they were genetically created that way? Are they creating even more discrimination amongst their own sexual culture by ignoring the pleas of those who made a choice?


Quoting Anonymous:

my brother is gay and he will say he chose that lifestyle and I respect him more than if he had tried to excuse it



Kerannmer
by Gold Member on Jan. 17, 2013 at 10:11 PM
13 moms liked this

Sorry, I don't need to be willing to entertain any idea. My belief is that people are homosexuals the same as people who are heterosexuals: they...just...are. I don't give two shits if they were born that way or made a choice:

I support homosexuality no matter what!

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 17, 2013 at 10:16 PM


That's awesome. I'm glad you feel that way. I'm more referring to the general public who seems to argue the "born this way" argument ALL THE TIME but refuses to consider that what if they aren't? What if they DID choose? What if that's not a good reason to support gay couples??

So many people say they support homosexuality on the basis that they can't help it and its sexist to deny them rights based on something they can't "fix" or change about themselves.

But I have to wonder how many would still support it if the science says it's a choice. And if that would change anyone's perspectives. If suddenly they don't so much agree with men CHOOSING to marry men... or women CHOOSING to marry women.

I don't think society, as a whole, is quite ready to take that step. Some of us are... some of us get it. But others... I think it would take some time, several generations, before we would be willing to say "it's a choice, and I'm okay with it".

Quoting Kerannmer:

Sorry, I don't need to be willing to entertain any idea. My belief is that people are homosexuals the same as people who are heterosexuals: they...just...are. I don't give two shits if they were born that way or made a choice:

I support homosexuality no matter what!



Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 17, 2013 at 10:18 PM
1 mom liked this
My 18 year old daughter is a lesbian. I saw signs from a very early age. My best friend is a lesbian but I tend to believe it was more of a "lifestyle choice" for her. Yes, they both made a choice, they chose to identify with a part of themselves for their own personal reasons. Just like straight people choose to be with the ones that they are with. I personally don't care where it all started, I love both of them for who they are and could care less if it's a born trait or a lifestyle choice. I admire the strength that they have to be honest with themselves no matter what adversity society chooses to throw at them. As human beings, we are all different for many reasons, whether genetic, environmental, societal, psychological, etc. Let's stop trying to label and "figure it out". We are who we are and everyone has the ability and opportunity to be a positive change on this world.
Kerannmer
by Gold Member on Jan. 17, 2013 at 10:23 PM

I think that the people who have a problem with it (no matter how one came to be a homosexual) need to get over themselves. Just because someone is not oay with something doesn't mean [that something] is wrong. I think the issue is close-mindedness and bigotry, NOT the argument about born this way/choose this way.


Quoting Anonymous:

 

That's awesome. I'm glad you feel that way. I'm more referring to the general public who seems to argue the "born this way" argument ALL THE TIME but refuses to consider that what if they aren't? What if they DID choose? What if that's not a good reason to support gay couples??

So many people say they support homosexuality on the basis that they can't help it and its sexist to deny them rights based on something they can't "fix" or change about themselves.

But I have to wonder how many would still support it if the science says it's a choice. And if that would change anyone's perspectives. If suddenly they don't so much agree with men CHOOSING to marry men... or women CHOOSING to marry women.

I don't think society, as a whole, is quite ready to take that step. Some of us are... some of us get it. But others... I think it would take some time, several generations, before we would be willing to say "it's a choice, and I'm okay with it".

Quoting Kerannmer:

Sorry, I don't need to be willing to entertain any idea. My belief is that people are homosexuals the same as people who are heterosexuals: they...just...are. I don't give two shits if they were born that way or made a choice:

I support homosexuality no matter what!

 

 


 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 17, 2013 at 10:28 PM
2 moms liked this
I still believe that they have to have the tendencies to be able to be commited to that lifestyle.

This not really being a choice other than the choice to act on their true feelings.

As a heterosexual could someone actually fulfill the sexual act if they weren't somewhat turned in that direction?
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 17, 2013 at 10:29 PM
I still believe that they have to have the tendencies to be able to be commited to that lifestyle.

This not really being a choice other than the choice to act on their true feelings.

As a heterosexual could someone actually fulfill the sexual act if they weren't somewhat turned in that direction?
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 17, 2013 at 10:30 PM

Well said! One of my friends whom I have known since high school is also one that made a choice.

She prefers to say she was in denial her entire life, but I saw first hand how affectionate and loving she was toward her boyfriend when they were together. I know she felt REAL feelings for him and she was truly devestated when the relationship didn't work out. But she's already having to face so much adversity right now, I'm not one to tell her I disagree. I'll let her come out with it as a "choice" when she feels ready. She only came out about three years ago. And her partner is in the military so there's a lot they are dealing with.

I'm curious to hear from anyone adamantly opposed to homosexuality that already believes through and through that it IS a choice. I'm open minded... very open minded. If it's a choice, and we KNOW it is a choice, what does that mean for us as a society? What does that mean for the opposing arguments?

We've seen many historical texts tell us that homosexuality was the downfall of many societies. They crumbled because of it (Greeks, for sure, but that's only one among many). So what does that mean for OUR society? Is history going to repeat itself? By promoting the homosexual agenda are we opening the door for democracy to collapse? Or have we learned from the past and made sure we don't make the same mistakes twice?

Does it change our perspective at all- to say with 100% certainty that it's a choice?

Religious parties believe it's an abomination...I consider myself religious, and I do believe God doesn't like it. But so? I mean, every day religious and non-religious individuals have choices to make that could send them to heaven or hell. So is this "choice" any more an abomination than lying? Or saying the Lord's name in vain? The Bible says that ALL sins are equal in the eyes of the Lord... so who are we to judge anyone?


Quoting Anonymous:

My 18 year old daughter is a lesbian. I saw signs from a very early age. My best friend is a lesbian but I tend to believe it was more of a "lifestyle choice" for her. Yes, they both made a choice, they chose to identify with a part of themselves for their own personal reasons. Just like straight people choose to be with the ones that they are with. I personally don't care where it all started, I love both of them for who they are and could care less if it's a born trait or a lifestyle choice. I admire the strength that they have to be honest with themselves no matter what adversity society chooses to throw at them. As human beings, we are all different for many reasons, whether genetic, environmental, societal, psychological, etc. Let's stop trying to label and "figure it out". We are who we are and everyone has the ability and opportunity to be a positive change on this world.



Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)



Featured