i hate it so much. It destroys lives, families, relationship. Fucking scientists should be putting more researching into figuring this shitty disease out. Its non-curable, there is NO KNOWN DRUG that actually helps schizophrenics. i hate schizophrenia.
I feel like fucking breaking down crying, and just plain shit. I dont know how much longer I can do this. Almost 7 years now and the schizophrenia has gotten gradually worse and now he's unbelievable every fucking night. Says I dont love him, I want him dead. Oh okay, thats why I do all the fucking chores right? Thats why I dont bitch at you when you sleep in, why I make sure you have clean laundry that gets put away instantly, why if you ask me for something, I'll drop what i'm doing and take care of it for you (unless im busy with the girls) and he's saying I don't love him. I know he doesn't mean these things but FUCK, 7 years I have been with this man and my heart is so beaten up from all his episodes.
This shit never happens when the girls are awake, he always stays calm around them, happy, plays with them, but at night it always gets worse and I take all the blame for everything.
Sorry for rambling. I needed to vent and just say a what i was feeling. I love my DH very much, but its hard being married to a schizophrenic, especially being bi-polar myself and its hard to not take things personally with him.