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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

He is better than me because he WORKS!

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I have been dealing with this for way too long. 10 years to be exact.I have been a sahm since 2004. (my wishes as well as his)

He basically tells me that he is better than me because he works and I sit at home and play.

He goes and does whatever, whenever because its his money, that he earned. I do not need a break from the kids becausse I am home all day. What do I need a break from? The TV?

If I go anywhere, I better not spend much money, if any. And I have to take the kids.


I need a job. I have a college degree for crying out loud. Even if I do get a job, I will still have to come home and do all the things he claims he shouldnt have to do because he works!


(And when I was working oh so long ago, it didnt compare, because he worked hard. I was a daycare teacher, so I got to sit in the air conditioning and play with the kids)


I feel an inch tall today.  :(

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 18, 2013 at 1:41 PM
Replies (11-20):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 18, 2013 at 1:52 PM

Any time he has been with the kids all day, he was not a happy camper when I came home. Disgusted like he should not have to be doing this.

Or, he will have the house spotless and act like it was a piece of cake. Just to rub it in, or prove a point.

Quoting lil_momma_vdv:

Men dont understand staying at home is not as easy as it seems, luckily my SO understands because he did it last year. Unless they live in our shoes they just dont get it


Nicoleb9
by Emerald Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 1:54 PM
2 moms liked this
He's not cut out to have a stay-at-home-wife. The man has to actually respect and value the position. He obviously doesn't. And considering what you've said, it sounds like HE probably feels an inch tall, too. Your being home is just the one thing he can feel bigger about. That's why he harps on it. It's his only step stool.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 18, 2013 at 1:55 PM
Quoting Nicoleb9:

He's not cut out to have a stay-at-home-wife. The man has to actually respect and value the position. He obviously doesn't. And considering what you've said, it sounds like HE probably feels an inch tall, too. Your being home is just the one thing he can feel bigger about. That's why he harps on it. It's his only step stool.

You are absolutely right! :)

Nicoleb9
by Emerald Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 2:00 PM
1 mom liked this
Bet if you got a job, the first thing he'd do is check to see which one of you makes more. That way he can keep his superior attitude. I've seen his type before and they're assholes.

I'm not trying to insult your husband or anything. Just something about what you've described makes my skin crawl.


Quoting Anonymous:

Quoting Nicoleb9:

He's not cut out to have a stay-at-home-wife. The man has to actually respect and value the position. He obviously doesn't. And considering what you've said, it sounds like HE probably feels an inch tall, too. Your being home is just the one thing he can feel bigger about. That's why he harps on it. It's his only step stool.

You are absolutely right! :)


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sweetieiv
by Ruby Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 2:01 PM
1 mom liked this
I was a sahm for 2 years and I couldn't take it. One day I just decided life is too short to he unhappy and I went out to find a job. I found one and now my life is happy. Yeah I still clean and cook and do everything else but now I don't mind doing it. If you are miserable then why are you still a sahm?
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robyann
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 2:05 PM

 First, for one week, write down every single thing you do. Then for the next week STOP doing any of it. Just do the bare minimum to take care of your kids. Give him the list and let him see how much you really do do.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jan. 18, 2013 at 2:05 PM
I did this for a week once and it turned my dh around. He started helping me and let me have breaks. This sounds mean but it works.


Quoting Anonymous:

All the chores and housework you do all day...stop doing them! Seriously, I would stop for a few days and see how he likes it! Go get the kids some damn chicken nuggets and let him fend for himself. I think I'm meaner than most people, so you maybe should not take my advice LOL...but he is an ass for saying that stuff to you!


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 18, 2013 at 2:06 PM

I'm not miserable being a sahm. I'm tired of him talking down to me and making me feel like I am worthless because he makes the money. Half of me wants a job, and half of me wants to be here with my kids. I planned on going back to work once all my kids were in school, which will be next year.

Quoting sweetieiv:

I was a sahm for 2 years and I couldn't take it. One day I just decided life is too short to he unhappy and I went out to find a job. I found one and now my life is happy. Yeah I still clean and cook and do everything else but now I don't mind doing it. If you are miserable then why are you still a sahm?


Traci_Momof2
by Gold Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 2:07 PM
1 mom liked this

I would say have him take 2 days vacation and he can stay home with the kids for two days straight and do all the things you do.  See how much "playing" he actually ends up doing.  He might then have a better appreciation for just how much work you really do.

He's totally taking advantage of you and everything you do for the family.  Don't let him get away with it.

**This is coming from a working mom.  Trust me, working to earn money is the easiest part of it all.

bozobean
by Jennifer on Jan. 18, 2013 at 2:08 PM
2 moms liked this
This exactly! He should have a taste of his own medicine and know what it's like to be you for at least a week. Maybe longer, until he appreciates you. He's a complete asshole. He oppresses you, keeps you down and dependent on him, and then degrades you for being in the very situation he keeps you down in.

Quoting Anonymous:

All the chores and housework you do all day...stop doing them! Seriously, I would stop for a few days and see how he likes it! Go get the kids some damn chicken nuggets and let him fend for himself. I think I'm meaner than most people, so you maybe should not take my advice LOL...but he is an ass for saying that stuff to you!

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