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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

He is better than me because he WORKS!

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I have been dealing with this for way too long. 10 years to be exact.I have been a sahm since 2004. (my wishes as well as his)

He basically tells me that he is better than me because he works and I sit at home and play.

He goes and does whatever, whenever because its his money, that he earned. I do not need a break from the kids becausse I am home all day. What do I need a break from? The TV?

If I go anywhere, I better not spend much money, if any. And I have to take the kids.


I need a job. I have a college degree for crying out loud. Even if I do get a job, I will still have to come home and do all the things he claims he shouldnt have to do because he works!


(And when I was working oh so long ago, it didnt compare, because he worked hard. I was a daycare teacher, so I got to sit in the air conditioning and play with the kids)


I feel an inch tall today.  :(

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 18, 2013 at 1:41 PM
Replies (31-40):
Marja2011
by Gold Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 2:17 PM
I'd most likely tell him fine, get to work because I will do just what you think I am doing. It would not be pretty since our son destroys the house while playing. Though he is helping at the moment because I fell down our ouside steps and cant currently walk on my ankle.
NiCo86
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 2:17 PM

 being a team is what helps keep our marriage strong.

Quoting Anonymous:

This is how it should be. EQUAL!

Quoting NiCo86:

 I don't understand women who are with men who are like that! My DH and I both work full-time, and we each do our part when it comes to the home. I cook 5 nights a week, he cooks 2 nights, I clean bedrooms, do laundry, bathrooms and general picking up after I get home from work, he does kitchen and dining room before he goes to work, and we do "cleaning" (dusting, vacuuming, scrubbing kitchen/bathroom) on our days off (we share one day off). We have a great balance where each of us puts in our effort.

I couldn't imagine it any other way.

 

 

Created by MyFitnessPal - Free Weight Loss Tools

randi1978
by Murdoc's Mistress on Jan. 18, 2013 at 2:19 PM

He's a dick.

Basically, since he has a dick, he's more important than you.  Next time you need to do something, go alone.  And if he says something, tell him to fuck off and be a parent to his children for once.  Ya know, actually take care of their needs.  YOU are gonna go and do what you need to do ALONE.

Let the house fall to ruin, too.  And when he comments on it, say "Well, you know, since you work so hard and all I do is sit at home and watch TV all day...."

Don't let him make you feel bad.  Kick him in the nuts and tell him shit's gonna change.

SRUsarahSC
by Platinum Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 2:20 PM
1 mom liked this

get a job...once you are working as well, chores should be split down the middle...oh and some of his pay money can go towards the daycare he's not paying for now...see how much he likes actually having to watch his own kids, do chores, and pay someone for child care and see how fast he changes his tune.

Journeytobe
by Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 2:22 PM

Wow. Sounds EXACTLY like my husband. Makes you feel like a dirtball, huh? :( 

Traci_Momof2
by Silver Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 2:22 PM

 Then he really has no interest in understanding your side of it - which is really sad.  He just doesn't want to give up his point of view which is that he has it soo much harder just because he earns the money.  He's full of bull.  I'm really sorry you have to put up with that.

You mentioned in another response that even when he does spend time with the kids he acts like he shouldn't have to (or something to that affect).  That tells me that he doesn't really want a wife and partner.  He wants a nanny and maid.  Last time I checked, nannys and maids get paid a pretty penny for the work they do.  Perhaps he should be paying you a salary.

Is he perhaps modeling the same environment he grew up in?  Did his own dad treat his own mom this way?  Just another thought.

I'm sorry I don't have better advice but I do think you need to do something.  It's not good for you or the kids to keep living in this type of situation.  Get a job, leave, or whatever else - don't keep putting up with this any longer.


Quoting Anonymous:

I've mentioned this to him. He said fine, but you have to do my job for a day then. If he has to do mine to see what its like for me, he thinks I should go and do what he does, so I can see what its like for him.

Quoting Traci_Momof2:

I would say have him take 2 days vacation and he can stay home with the kids for two days straight and do all the things you do.  See how much "playing" he actually ends up doing.  He might then have a better appreciation for just how much work you really do.

He's totally taking advantage of you and everything you do for the family.  Don't let him get away with it.

**This is coming from a working mom.  Trust me, working to earn money is the easiest part of it all.

 


 

mybabybugssmile
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 2:23 PM

 He treats you like shit because YOU allow him too.

itsm3
by Platinum Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 2:23 PM

a woman will be treated the way she lets herself be treated. while it may be hard to change things once they've been established for years,  change CAN happen;  you just can't fear the change and make it happen. 

stand up for yourself! you're not a second class citizen just because you don't work. 

to be honest, he is a selfish prick.  regardless if you work or not, you are still a person and no person deserves to be treated like that. 


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 18, 2013 at 2:23 PM
This made me smile. :)

Quoting randi1978:

He's a dick.

Basically, since he has a dick, he's more important than you.  Next time you need to do something, go alone.  And if he says something, tell him to fuck off and be a parent to his children for once.  Ya know, actually take care of their needs.  YOU are gonna go and do what you need to do ALONE.

Let the house fall to ruin, too.  And when he comments on it, say "Well, you know, since you work so hard and all I do is sit at home and watch TV all day...."

Don't let him make you feel bad.  Kick him in the nuts and tell him shit's gonna change.

randi1978
by Murdoc's Mistress on Jan. 18, 2013 at 2:24 PM

I'm glad I could make you smile, hon.  :-)

But I'm serious, too, LOL.

I'm in a feisty mood today.  I need some nuts to twist.

Quoting Anonymous:

This made me smile. :)

Quoting randi1978:

He's a dick.

Basically, since he has a dick, he's more important than you.  Next time you need to do something, go alone.  And if he says something, tell him to fuck off and be a parent to his children for once.  Ya know, actually take care of their needs.  YOU are gonna go and do what you need to do ALONE.

Let the house fall to ruin, too.  And when he comments on it, say "Well, you know, since you work so hard and all I do is sit at home and watch TV all day...."

Don't let him make you feel bad.  Kick him in the nuts and tell him shit's gonna change.


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