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He is better than me because he WORKS!

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I have been dealing with this for way too long. 10 years to be exact.I have been a sahm since 2004. (my wishes as well as his)

He basically tells me that he is better than me because he works and I sit at home and play.

He goes and does whatever, whenever because its his money, that he earned. I do not need a break from the kids becausse I am home all day. What do I need a break from? The TV?

If I go anywhere, I better not spend much money, if any. And I have to take the kids.

I need a job. I have a college degree for crying out loud. Even if I do get a job, I will still have to come home and do all the things he claims he shouldnt have to do because he works!

(And when I was working oh so long ago, it didnt compare, because he worked hard. I was a daycare teacher, so I got to sit in the air conditioning and play with the kids)

I feel an inch tall today.  :(

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 18, 2013 at 1:41 PM
Replies (41-50):
by Ruby Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 2:25 PM
Don't allow yourself to be treated like that, my DH respects me and my role because I do not settle for less.
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by Brenda on Jan. 18, 2013 at 2:27 PM
he sounds like my husband. And I work full time too. but because he makes more and pays more bills with his earnings, I'm not as wonderful as he is.
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by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 2:28 PM

Yucccccccck, what an ass. Hope you feel better mama

by Emerald Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 2:28 PM
1 mom liked this

I am not saying this is a snotty way, but I saw you mention that you are scared of what the change would be like for the kids if you left, and I think this question applies.  How would you feel if your daughters had a man treat them this way, or if your sons treated their wives this way?  Because allowing them to see this is sending the message that it is okay.  Keep that in mind, please.

by Ruby Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 2:29 PM
You aren't happy with your situation which made me think you were miserable. Its not fair for him to talk down on you but its your fault for staying. I'm not saying leave him, I'm saying that he thinks he is better and you are only making him feel like he is right. Do something in order to change the role. If he thinks he is better because he brings the money then you show him you are equal by showing him what you do. Don't stay with that anger inside. On his days off don't cook, don't clean, don't do what you usually do if he says something then tell him to eat his money.

Quoting Anonymous:

I'm not miserable being a sahm. I'm tired of him talking down to me and making me feel like I am worthless because he makes the money. Half of me wants a job, and half of me wants to be here with my kids. I planned on going back to work once all my kids were in school, which will be next year.

Quoting sweetieiv:

I was a sahm for 2 years and I couldn't take it. One day I just decided life is too short to he unhappy and I went out to find a job. I found one and now my life is happy. Yeah I still clean and cook and do everything else but now I don't mind doing it. If you are miserable then why are you still a sahm?

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by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 2:30 PM
Sit on your ass for a week and don't clean or cook anything for him but feed the kids. When he says what's for supper or are you gonna clean this place up tell him no 1. Maids get paid 2. I don't do anything but sit on my ass and watch tv remember.
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by Ruby Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 2:32 PM

How old are your kids?

by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 2:33 PM

 Yeah, he doesn't respect you. It sounds like you are in win situation.

by Gold Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 2:40 PM
Sounds exactly like my mom's husband. Exactly. We were like slaves to him when I lived there. He said he was the king. Yeah. Haha.

Stop doing what you do for just one day. Show him what would happen if you really did nothing. Men usually learn through experience. They need to see things before they believe them or have any sort of understanding. Good luck!
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 2:41 PM

I would never let a man treat me that way. I hope you have the good sense to leave. Or get through to him.

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