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What is the BIG deal with getting MARRIED?!?!?!?!?! *VENT* *ADDED INFO*

Posted by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 5:26 PM
  • 67 Replies
1 mom liked this
WHY DO I HAVE TO GET/BE MARRIED IF I DON'T KNOW IF THAT'S WHAT I WANT!!!!

Uuuugggghhhhh!!!!!



I'm constantly harassed by family and my sort of boyfriend to get married. I don't know if that's what I want. The divorce rate is sooo high. I'm not jumping into something that I will vow to be apart of forever if I don't know 100% that's what I want. I know that shit happens and people get divorced. I don't want to say yes when I'm unsure. *Vent Over*



Anybody else deal with this????

*I was engaged to my children's father. I wasn't supposed to be able to have children so when I found out I was pregnant we were both surprised but very happy. We were planning on having children close together (or so I thought but different history for a different time) so I was pregnant when we were planning our wedding which was supposed to be 3 months after our second was born (give me enough time to fit into my dress). He became verbally abusive while I was pregnant with our second and then physically abusive after I gave birth then I left. I wasn't completely sure about us getting married but figured we would work it out after we were more settled with our children but when the abuse started I planned and ran.*
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by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 5:26 PM
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Replies (1-10):
prenatalRN
by Silver Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 5:29 PM
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The divorce rate isnt high, that is a myth. 70 percent of people are still married to their first spouse. That 50 percent you always here is from people who marry divorce marry divorce over and over again. Odds are very much in your favor your first marriage will last.

Also being married is WONDERFUL! But do it when its right for you

Heatherahh
by Silver Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 5:30 PM
Sounds like you are with the.wrong guy. And when you meet the right guy, who you have no doubt you want to merry. make your marriage a priority then divorce won't even be any issues
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samanthastaatss
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 5:34 PM

If you're unsure of getting married, he needs to get that through his head. I've been with my SO for six years now and I don't feel like I need to put a ring on my finger as validation that I want to be with him forever. I already feel that way about him so when we BOTH feel the time is right, we will plan from there. 

MomLife16
by Gold Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 5:35 PM
That's what I want to do but everyone keeps telling me I'm getting old! I AM 25! I've seen most of my family go through marriages like a baby goes through diapers. I just don't want to right now. I'm happy where I am and everybody keeps telling me I need a husband.


Quoting prenatalRN:

The divorce rate isnt high, that is a myth. 70 percent of people are still married to their first spouse. That 50 percent you always here is from people who marry divorce marry divorce over and over again. Odds are very much in your favor your first marriage will last.

Also being married is WONDERFUL! But do it when its right for you


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wrensong
by Pagan Mother on Jan. 18, 2013 at 5:37 PM

If you don't want to get married, then don't. Tell everyone else to mind their own business.

SunshneDaydream
by Platinum Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 5:38 PM

Yeah when I first got preggo with our first, EVERYONE wanted us to get married.  We were like, woah, we're in our early 20s...still in college!...we've only been together 2 years we're NOT READY!  If we get through raising an infant without wanting to kill each other, we'll get married.  And we did.  Been married 5 years now and couldn't be happier.  It's MUCH better to wait until you're married!!!

SunshneDaydream
by Platinum Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 5:39 PM

I was with the right guy for 4 years before I knew I wanted to marry him.  Sometimes it takes time. 

Quoting Heatherahh:

Sounds like you are with the.wrong guy. And when you meet the right guy, who you have no doubt you want to merry. make your marriage a priority then divorce won't even be any issues


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jan. 18, 2013 at 5:40 PM
1 mom liked this
Wait....so you will commit to having a child with someone, but not marrying him? I don't get it?
MomLife16
by Gold Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 5:41 PM
Sometimes I think that too! We've been on and off for a few years. I don't want to have an on and off marriage! He gets upset when I don't have time for him and that I don't text/call him a million times a day. My kids need most of my time. My oldest son(6) is in the middle of being tested for Asperger's and he can't read! My youngest son is learning to read. He says I need to have set times for those kinds of things. It's all very irritating on top of most of my family trying to push me into it


Quoting Heatherahh:

Sounds like you are with the.wrong guy. And when you meet the right guy, who you have no doubt you want to merry. make your marriage a priority then divorce won't even be any issues

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Pink.Sunshine
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 5:41 PM

Marriage isn't for everyone and I don't worry about the divorce rate. I've been married 9 1/2 years so I can only focus on my marriage.

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