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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Probably going to get bashed....but I don't agree with spousal support in most situations

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I am all for child support because I feel a man has equal responsibility in raising a kid.  But I think spousal support is stupid in most situations.  I think there should be very few exceptions where someone gets it.


1. Disabled spouse with no way of working

2. SAHM. For a few months until she gets a job..  If she doesn't get a job within the allotted time....oh well. 

I don't think a woman with no kids should get it unless like I said she is disabled .....or her husband was the main bread winner and she kept house.  And again. 90 days to get a job. 

I think if a woman is living with someone then she shouldn't get it.  I have a neighbor who has lived with the same man for 10 years and won't marry him because her spousal support or Alimoney would stop.  Ridiculous. She had no kids with her ex but has two with the new guy,  


there may be other instances where it would be okay. But not many. 

Also...no my DH doesn't pay support to anyone. 

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 19, 2013 at 9:02 AM
Replies (21-30):
SnapIt
by Ruby Member on Jan. 19, 2013 at 9:22 AM
1 mom liked this

I agree
Even if disabled they should only get for a certain amount of time.
Exs are not children to have to take care of for a long period of time.
Everyone needs to get back to normalcy as an individual. Like before they met.

And if she wants the house, she should be able to and needs to pay for it all herself as well, if not, sell it and give him his equity. If she cant afford the house on her own, sell it and split whatever profit from it and move on.

The only thing they should both pay for is CS. Otherwise life as a single person is that, single, on your own

mammakisses
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 9:26 AM
1 mom liked this

I agree with your statement but I would extend the alimony to 1 year because if the women was a housewife for many years then she may have a hard time finding a job, also depending on where they live.

AliKatAK47
by Meanie Pants on Jan. 19, 2013 at 9:34 AM
I don't believe it at all. Even in the case of a disabled person or a SAHM. I'm "disabled" and I don't need someone who doesn't even want to be with me to pay my bills.As for the SAHM thing.. Oh well. You chose not to work now live with it. You can't expect him to support you after the separation.
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SnapIt
by Ruby Member on Jan. 19, 2013 at 9:34 AM
Was he already doing what he does before he met you?
Was he already on that path?
See to me if he had already picked his career and was already doing what he does before the wife came i to his life, hes responsible for his success.
He wouldve done it with or without a wife. Some men are driven and they dont need for anyone to help them achieve.

You made the choice to give to him. You didnt have to give anything in order for him to be accomplished. No one twisted your arm. He couldve done it all on their own.
Ive seen many women say he is who he is because of me. Reality is he is who he always was. He wouldve been that no matter what.
No one should take the credit for anyones accomplishments. If you give yourself up, thats on you.

If you were a sahm which is a CHOICE, you are entitled for alimony yes, but not his business if he already had it before you came along.


Quoting Anonymous:

We have been married 10 years. If he gets up and tells me he's leaving me, I will have no problems going after alimony/spousal support. Most women give their husbands everything, their life, dreams and best years of their life. I helped my husband become the successful person that he is. There is no way I would let someone else reap the benefits of my love and support.
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SnapIt
by Ruby Member on Jan. 19, 2013 at 9:38 AM
1 mom liked this
Exactly!!!
I agree
Its a choice to give him your time and yrs, not mandatory.


Quoting SweetPea2004:


Maybe you shouldn't have given all of you away that is sad to me. I don't understand women who do not want to support themselves after a divorce. Also you should have your own hopes and dreams.


Quoting Anonymous:

We have been married 10 years. If he gets up and tells me he's leaving me, I will have no problems going after alimony/spousal support. Most women give their husbands everything, their life, dreams and best years of their life. I helped my husband become the successful person that he is. There is no way I would let someone else reap the benefits of my love and support.




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CuriousArentYa
by Platinum Member on Jan. 19, 2013 at 9:40 AM

Haha, my stepdads ex wife has been getting alimony for the past 19 years and will continue to get it because she just lives with a guy (the same guy for the past 19 years). 

My husband and I have an agreement, he will continue to support me until I can find a good job. I will also get everything he has in retirement starting the day of the separation. Granted this is pretty much only for a case where I don't cheat or anything. We also have agreements that we will NEVER go after family property. My family has very valuable property that is in my name and his family owns a huge farm that will eventually will be put in his name.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 19, 2013 at 9:42 AM
Oh well. If courts feel it is ok than you get no say. If my husband dies, I would live with someone forever but not remarry b/c of the benefits I'd get.
SweetPea2004
by Platinum Member on Jan. 19, 2013 at 9:46 AM


You don't know how he will feel after a divorce and if you didn't earn that income it's not yours. If you can support yourself why take his income? I left my ex with nothing and I refused to let him take care of me. It burns me up my s/o mom pays out of her retirement to her exdh he did not earn that money.

Quoting Anonymous:

Excuse me but I fully support myself now. All income is our income, dreams became our dreams, I helped support him when he needed me. I did not lose myself as a person but I have gone out of my way to help him accomplish his goals. I have been there when no one else was. While I could fully support myself and my kids if he ups and leaves I won't. I have given so much it would only be fair. We have discussed it before and he agrees with me.


Quoting SweetPea2004:


Maybe you shouldn't have given all of you away that is sad to me. I don't understand women who do not want to support themselves after a divorce. Also you should have your own hopes and dreams.


Quoting Anonymous:

We have been married 10 years. If he gets up and tells me he's leaving me, I will have no problems going after alimony/spousal support. Most women give their husbands everything, their life, dreams and best years of their life. I helped my husband become the successful person that he is. There is no way I would let someone else reap the benefits of my love and support.







CafeMom Tickers
wrensong
by Pagan Mother on Jan. 19, 2013 at 9:50 AM

In my state the ONLY time spousal support is orders is if the couple has been married at least 25 years and the wife as never worked outside the home, ot it has been many years since she worked outside the home.

I am not sure if there is a limit on the support or not.  I can see there not being a limit if the lady is elderly and probably couldn't get a job. But a lot of people here marry young, so there could be couples in their early to mid 40's married 25 years. I think a 40-something woman could get a job, or get some job training and then get a job.


karlie2
by Silver Member on Jan. 19, 2013 at 9:51 AM
IDK it's not something I've given a lot of thought to.
I stepped away from my career for a while because DS has developmental issues. We BOTH agreed that someone needed to be home more to help him.
If we split up why should I be the only one to suffer financially for OUR decision to help our son?
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