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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Probably going to get bashed....but I don't agree with spousal support in most situations

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I am all for child support because I feel a man has equal responsibility in raising a kid.  But I think spousal support is stupid in most situations.  I think there should be very few exceptions where someone gets it.


1. Disabled spouse with no way of working

2. SAHM. For a few months until she gets a job..  If she doesn't get a job within the allotted time....oh well. 

I don't think a woman with no kids should get it unless like I said she is disabled .....or her husband was the main bread winner and she kept house.  And again. 90 days to get a job. 

I think if a woman is living with someone then she shouldn't get it.  I have a neighbor who has lived with the same man for 10 years and won't marry him because her spousal support or Alimoney would stop.  Ridiculous. She had no kids with her ex but has two with the new guy,  


there may be other instances where it would be okay. But not many. 

Also...no my DH doesn't pay support to anyone. 

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 19, 2013 at 9:02 AM
Replies (321-330):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 20, 2013 at 1:30 AM

I got temp Spousal Support for a year and after my D for 3 years. Love that it is avail.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 20, 2013 at 1:35 AM

 

If I respond to this I will get reported.. Moving on...

Quoting TheQueenOfChaos:

I agree with you. I think people who cling to spousal support for years like that rather than attempting to move on with their life are secretly clinging to a hope that their ex will come back to them.

There comes a time when its just time to move on.

I also think women or men who cling to spousal support have no self respect. I can understand having it for a few months or even 2-4 years to obtain schooling and have a good job to support your family, but to not get married again or get a job so the spousal support doesn't stop shows some serious codependency issues. At that point the ex providing the support should petition the courts for psychological intervention.


 

SissyAnn141
by Gold Member on Jan. 20, 2013 at 2:19 AM

                  

 

 I think if a woman is living with someone then she shouldn't get it. I have a neighbor who has lived with the same man for 10 years and won't marry him because her spousal support or Alimoney would stop. Ridiculous. She had no kids with her ex but has two with the new guy,

            I agree, with this one.

 

     You should not place all women, in 1 place.

    Maybe, He promised her the good life ?

    Large House, In ground pool, told she never had to  work.?

    Has 2 kids, and a great life and he has a Affair ???

                  I would take him for all he had !!!!!!!!

               


moneysaver6
by Platinum Member on Jan. 20, 2013 at 2:26 AM
I see no problem with it if it is agreed upon by both parties. For example, a homeschooling mom...perhaps she and her ex agree to spousal support in addition to child support until the kids are in college.

I see nothing wrong with a situation like that.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
bellawomen
by Summer on Jan. 20, 2013 at 3:30 AM
Depending on your state, its automatically given after so many years of marriage. So SAHMs shouldn't have access to their husband's Social Security if something were to happen to him? Marriage isn't his and hers its THEIRS. Otherwise why marry?

Quoting SweetPea2004:

I disagree she went to work for 25 years he did not work he stayed home. That is her money, retirement should only be for the person who worked and if they so chose share with their spouse. A good person would never take their spouses retirement. He tried to take inherited property so that was the only way to satisfy him. My s/o and I will have a prenup and he agrees he will never take my retirement if we divorced.




Quoting bellawomen:

Retirement is way different that spousal support. Spousal support is money made after the relationship is over, retirement is not. Retirement is created from money earned while everything was community property. She has rights to his retirement to, so its s a two way street. She had the option of buying him out or letting her retirement pay him, obviously she chose retirement. It wasn't just HER money. That was THEIR future no matter who wanted the divorce.





Quoting SweetPea2004:


My s/o mom has to pay over $1800 out of her retirement for her exdh who is perfectly capable of working it burns me up.




Quoting Anonymous:






Quoting SweetPea2004:

I do not agree with spousal support period, that coming from someone who was a SAHM for a few years.





I don't really either,,,I can just see it in some circumstances. 







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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 20, 2013 at 3:49 AM

If they're disabled they should get disability. It's not the ex spouses responsibility to pay for something they didn't do. I would say if the woman was a SAHM and didn't get a degree or work experience because she was raising kids then she should be able to get support until she gets a degree and/or career, not some crappy job.

mamanay041010
by Bronze Member on Jan. 20, 2013 at 3:53 AM

I'm not going to say much on the topic, but I think any kind of support can be abused, it's the system really, I think there can be revisions with any kind of monetary support, from PA to spousal support, it's easy for some to slip through the cracks, where there are people who need these supports and don't get them there are people who abuse these supports and the system(s) should have caught on.. It's all a case by case, instance by instanc etching, and the sucky thing is we don't have the honest manpower for those agencies/organizations to thoroughly say who should be getting what and enforcing that it happens 

kristin_1984
by Silver Member on Jan. 20, 2013 at 4:12 AM

I agree with you

justme91755
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 4:46 AM

 I got spousal support for 5 yrs. after 27 yrs of marriage  My ex went to another state to take a job that paid 3x more than he had ever made and told me to quit my jobs ( contract work) so I could take care of our 8 yr old son and get the house ready to sell.  ^ days later he emailed he did not want to be married anymore and his lawyer would contact me.    While we were going through all this I had to go back to school ( fulltime 18 credits a qtr) and work 2 jobs and take care of my son by myself as all my family lived 1200 miles away.  He had been seeing a woman for nine months before he left ( I found this out by hacking into his computer) and was living with her and working at her company,  He lied about his income and the fact they were living together and falsied information to the court because he was 2500 miles away and no  one checked and his work lied for him.  I struggled to pay the bills he left with the minimal support he paid and then at the end of the 5 yrs I had to give him 27 thousand dollars in one lump sum ( not a little every month for 5 years) so it was pretty much a wash anyway.  I feel some people abuse the whole support thing including child support but sometimes a spouse needs the help to make it equitable in the divorce.

Jynnifer292
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 6:46 AM

I know someone that got married young. Her DH insisted that she stay home with the kids. Having been raised in a home with a SAHM, she thought it made sense. He worked and went to school nights, pretty much leaving her with the kids 24/7. Fifteen years later, he has a great job and is making good money. He recently cheated on her and left her with three kids. He moved in with his girlfriend.

In this case, I feel that he should support his wife while she gets an education, until she can support herself. He insisted that she be a SAHM, he screwed around on her, he has an obligation to support her while she gets on her feet. I think four years, not three months.

If she remarries within that time or has an obvious long term live in relationship, the support should end.

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