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Probably going to get bashed....but I don't agree with spousal support in most situations

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I am all for child support because I feel a man has equal responsibility in raising a kid.  But I think spousal support is stupid in most situations.  I think there should be very few exceptions where someone gets it.


1. Disabled spouse with no way of working

2. SAHM. For a few months until she gets a job..  If she doesn't get a job within the allotted time....oh well. 

I don't think a woman with no kids should get it unless like I said she is disabled .....or her husband was the main bread winner and she kept house.  And again. 90 days to get a job. 

I think if a woman is living with someone then she shouldn't get it.  I have a neighbor who has lived with the same man for 10 years and won't marry him because her spousal support or Alimoney would stop.  Ridiculous. She had no kids with her ex but has two with the new guy,  


there may be other instances where it would be okay. But not many. 

Also...no my DH doesn't pay support to anyone. 

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 19, 2013 at 9:02 AM
Replies (41-50):
lapcounter
by Queen Mom on Jan. 19, 2013 at 10:05 AM
Well you don't know everyone's story and situation, good thing it's not up to you.
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JLah
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 10:07 AM

I think spousal support is wrong. No way should a man/woman pay another. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 19, 2013 at 10:08 AM
2 moms liked this
Nope. I'm the one that pushed him to pursue his goals. I'm the one that brainstormed with him, proofread and corrected, and the one that practiced with him. I'm the one that worked, took care of the kids and the home so he could stay focused. So yes I am part of the reason he has all this.


Quoting SnapIt:

Was he already doing what he does before he met you?

Was he already on that path?

See to me if he had already picked his career and was already doing what he does before the wife came i to his life, hes responsible for his success.

He wouldve done it with or without a wife. Some men are driven and they dont need for anyone to help them achieve.



You made the choice to give to him. You didnt have to give anything in order for him to be accomplished. No one twisted your arm. He couldve done it all on their own.

Ive seen many women say he is who he is because of me. Reality is he is who he always was. He wouldve been that no matter what.

No one should take the credit for anyones accomplishments. If you give yourself up, thats on you.



If you were a sahm which is a CHOICE, you are entitled for alimony yes, but not his business if he already had it before you came along.




Quoting Anonymous:

We have been married 10 years. If he gets up and tells me he's leaving me, I will have no problems going after alimony/spousal support. Most women give their husbands everything, their life, dreams and best years of their life. I helped my husband become the successful person that he is. There is no way I would let someone else reap the benefits of my love and support.

miss_lisa
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 10:08 AM
My husband started his career path when we were married for 3 years. I've worked while he has worked this job but once we relocated for his career working became difficult. There is a shortage of childcare and dh is working days at a time without coming home. His schedule is 5 weeks on (including weekends) and 1 week off. Last year he asked me to stop working so that I could be home with DD, take care of his son when he comes to visit (which I don't mind doing), and so that he'd be able to actually see me. When I worked we would rarely see each other because of his hectic schedule.





If we ever got divorced I would ask for alimony. I wouldn't want it long term but I'd want some help to get on my feet with our daughter and that may take some time. Also, he readily admits he wouldn't have even considered this career if it wasn't for me. I'm not taking credit for his hard work, but he wouldn't have tried to do this before me because honestly everyone expected him to not do well.




Quoting SnapIt:

Was he already doing what he does before he met you?



Was he already on that path?



See to me if he had already picked his career and was already doing what he does before the wife came i to his life, hes responsible for his success.



He wouldve done it with or without a wife. Some men are driven and they dont need for anyone to help them achieve.







You made the choice to give to him. You didnt have to give anything in order for him to be accomplished. No one twisted your arm. He couldve done it all on their own.



Ive seen many women say he is who he is because of me. Reality is he is who he always was. He wouldve been that no matter what.



No one should take the credit for anyones accomplishments. If you give yourself up, thats on you.







If you were a sahm which is a CHOICE, you are entitled for alimony yes, but not his business if he already had it before you came along.






Quoting Anonymous:

We have been married 10 years. If he gets up and tells me he's leaving me, I will have no problems going after alimony/spousal support. Most women give their husbands everything, their life, dreams and best years of their life. I helped my husband become the successful person that he is. There is no way I would let someone else reap the benefits of my love and support.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 13 on Jan. 19, 2013 at 10:09 AM

I have been a SAHM mom for six years. With no job history or college education. How in the world am I going to support my self and two children on minimum wage? If we were to get divorced for any reason I would need to go back to college while working a minimum wage job. My husband would have to help support me until I am able to better provide for me and my children. WE TOGETHER agreed that my place is in the home. I have been here fully supporting my husband while he betters his education and career. It would not be fair at all. I would expect the same type of support that I gave him.

Not_A_Native
by Ruby Member on Jan. 19, 2013 at 10:10 AM

 


Quoting Anonymous:

We have been married 10 years. If he gets up and tells me he's leaving me, I will have no problems going after alimony/spousal support. Most women give their husbands everything, their life, dreams and best years of their life. I helped my husband become the successful person that he is. There is no way I would let someone else reap the benefits of my love and support.


 I would agree.  I've spent the better part of my life, helping my husband get to the income he is today.  He makes a mid six figure income.  I am skilled, I had a career 20 years ago before I became a sahm, and I actually COULD get a pretty "good" job fairly quickly.  I'd also get half of all we amassed in the last 24 years (neither of us really had anything before that).

But.  I'm 9 years from retirement.  There is no way I could "match" our lifestyle.  Our kids are grown (or mostly so).  But no, he will pay for all that I have done over the last coupe decades.  He has concentrated completely on his career - very rarely has ANYTHING gotten in the way of whatever he had to do at work, or the hours he would have to work (he's salaried, always has been).

livingrlovesong
by Silver Member on Jan. 19, 2013 at 10:11 AM
Spousal supported is limited in my state. You only get it for half the time you were married. I asked for it, then dropped it later. But my ex husband worked full time. I only worked part time to take care of the kids. He left me for a 15 year old. So yes, I deserved the support.
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Kaya529
by Platinum Member on Jan. 19, 2013 at 10:12 AM

I agree but I would also add if a women put a man through college and he leaves he should pay her back.

kngarber
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 10:12 AM
I agree with you.
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kngarber
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 10:13 AM
Oh my God, WHAT?? Is he in prison??

Quoting livingrlovesong:

Spousal supported is limited in my state. You only get it for half the time you were married. I asked for it, then dropped it later. But my ex husband worked full time. I only worked part time to take care of the kids. He left me for a 15 year old. So yes, I deserved the support.
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