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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

She cries over EVERYTHING!!!

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Dd is driving me nuts.  She'll be 5 in two weeks.  Somewhere along the way, we raised a difficult child.


She doesn't demand toys at the store, and she's great about sharing and taking turns, but she does demand things be done *her* way.  I don't understand the sense of entitlement though, because unless it's made clear from the get-go that her choices mean a damn, she never gets a say!  This child does not pick where we go, what we eat, etc, so it's not like we've given her the idea that she gets to make any real decisions about our household.  Not to say she never gets to decide anything, but it's more like, if we're going to watch a movie, she gets to pick which one (and usually out of a selection).  


If we tell her to hurry up because she's late for school or dance class, she yells back to "stop talking to her" and then starts wailing.  Loud, siren-like wails.  Same thing if we tell her to try to go potty.  Or to do anything.  It takes everything to stop myself from "giving her a reason to cry."


What do I do?  Ignoring it only turns the sirens into blood-curdling screams.  Spanking turns the sirens into screams.  I lose the yelling matches (she's louder than me). Tossing her out the window would probably alert the neighbors.  


We try reasoning with her after she's calmed down and explaining that while she can cry all she pleases, she may not do so at such a high volume.  She agrees, but then it happens again.


Punishing her by taking toys away doesn't impact her.  At that split second, she's really pissed off, but 5 seconds later, the toy doesn't matter.  Toss it, for all she cares....she's got an imagination to entertain herself with.


I am pregnant and very worried about this continuing after baby arrives.  And as much as I'd like to blame the realization that there's an impending sibling on this behavior, it's been going on long before the newest bun hopped in the oven.  Wits end here.  Please help.

by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 9:23 AM
Replies (31-40):
Sagely
by Silver Member on Jan. 19, 2013 at 10:05 AM

LoL, no idea...

angel

Quoting Anonymous:

Can't imagine where she got that from


Sagely
by Silver Member on Jan. 19, 2013 at 10:06 AM

Yes.  They are soul mates.

Quoting MunchiesMom324:

I was reading this, wondering if you were decribing my son.  He's brilliant, ahead of his class, very independent and has more imagination than any of his siblings... but he likes to be in FULL control.  If he's playing with his brother and his brother makes the car go left instead of straight, DS2 FLIPS HIS SHIT.  And it's the LOUDEST wailing....

I'm hoping it's just a phase, because DS2 is the same age as your DD - he'll be 5 on 2/9


bxmom2580
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 10:06 AM
I did this to my kids, it works


Quoting Anonymous:

Make her stay in her room until she calls herself down. Close the door and ignore it. She will soon get that you won't let her do that.

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FunnyKids
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 10:10 AM
Dd is 7 and she's like this too has been since she was 5. I had ds when she was 4 so everyone in my family thinks it's because she's jealous but I know it's not that. I was always bossy and she's going to be just like I was
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FunnyKids
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 10:11 AM
Yes...this had helped curb some if this from dd


Quoting bxmom2580:

I did this to my kids, it works




Quoting Anonymous:

Make her stay in her room until she calls herself down. Close the door and ignore it. She will soon get that you won't let her do that.


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trl12081208
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 10:11 AM
First you need a good phychologist ASAP. The other thing you can try is validating feelings. If she yells, "I want that Barbie!" You mimic her facial expressions and tone and yell, "You really want to get that Barbie! You haven't gotten a toy in a long time! That's a really pretty Barbie and you want it!" Be as loud as she is. Then she knows you have heard her. She may calm once she knows you understand. Then you can talk. I would also put a crackdown on buying her anything for a good while until this is sorted out. Whenever she is behaving make a big fuss. Get really animated. When she is being rude, strip her room
Down. Allow her to earn items back with proper behavior. Please get some help. In ten years this will get ugly.
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Sagely
by Silver Member on Jan. 19, 2013 at 10:13 AM

Meh, I'm venting on the internet.  I do turn bitchy when fed up.


She has no reason to be fed up.  This morning, we had cinnamon rolls and watched cartoons.  Then she had to get ready for dance class (which she LOVES), but because that included such an atrocity as brushing her teeth in less than 45 minutes, we had a meltdown.


She can't take that long to brush her teeth.  Dance class would be over.  And as great of a lesson as it might be to teach her that if she doesn't hurry up, that she'll miss the class...she'll get over it long before I will.  I paid over $1,000 for that class.  Her ass is going.

Quoting Anonymous:

You come across as a bit of a bitch. Maybe she's acting like she sees.


.shank.
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 10:14 AM
My son will be 5 next month and so help me God the screaming will be the death of me. Sweet baby Jesus...

I think its age, I know that doesn't help or save any sanity but like you its all I've got to hope for lol.
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Refurbished
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 10:15 AM

She's getting something out of the tantrums or she wouldn't do it.  I know it's difficult, but try ignoring them.  Tell her that if she screams or throws a tantrum in any way, you are going to walk out of the room and ignore her until she can speak to you in a respectful way.  If she can't get your attention with the screams, she will eventually try getting your attention the way you want her to.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Jan. 19, 2013 at 10:15 AM
Lmfao @ pyschologist.

I love cm.

Quoting trl12081208:

First you need a good phychologist ASAP. The other thing you can try is validating feelings. If she yells, "I want that Barbie!" You mimic her facial expressions and tone and yell, "You really want to get that Barbie! You haven't gotten a toy in a long time! That's a really pretty Barbie and you want it!" Be as loud as she is. Then she knows you have heard her. She may calm once she knows you understand. Then you can talk. I would also put a crackdown on buying her anything for a good while until this is sorted out. Whenever she is behaving make a big fuss. Get really animated. When she is being rude, strip her room

Down. Allow her to earn items back with proper behavior. Please get some help. In ten years this will get ugly.
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