I need help..........PLEASE NO BASHING
- 90 Replies
I have been with my DH for 14 years now. We have been married for 9 years. He has an addiction to crack cocaine and I am fat. Neither one of us are perfect but I try so hard to show him that I love him and encourage him to get clean. He typically spends on average of about 100.00 a week on crack. I work a full time job and so does he. Our kids do not do without anything but I know that we could do so much more with the money he blows. We have had a big argument today because he asked for 20.00 last night but instead took 40.00. It was out of his paycheck not mine. I feel that any money made by either one of us belongs to the other because we are married. Now for my questions.
1. He calls me stupid and tells me that he is using the word correctly. It hurts but not as much as it used to. I tell him that just because he feels that he is using a word correctly he still should not do it if it hurts the other person. Am I right or am I wrong.
2. He tells me that he will not stop spending the money. Is it ok for him to blow this money. He says that if he is not spending it on the drug he will spend it some where else. I feel that this is selfish. is this right or is this wrong.
3. I yell A LOT. I am not making excuses and I am trying so hard to not do this but it happens. I am stressed. I work full time and I have 3 kids. My kids get out of control and wont stop until I am yelling so I yell. I have really been trying to change this. Today I got on the kids level and told them to use quiet feet (no running) quiet mouths (no screaming) and nice hands (no hitting) I yelled one time this morning in 3 hours after reminding dear son constantly to be good.
4. He does most of the cleaning and cooking around the house. I handle all of the finances. I try to show him how much I appreciate what he does but all he wants is money and we cant afford that. I got up this morning and cleaned the house before he got up. That was my way of doing my part and saying thank you.
5. I asked to see his phone last night so I could install an app for him. When he gave it to me he had a picture on it of an anime character with her boobs in the front and center of the screen. They were partially covered with a blue shirt but still a very sexy picture. I feel this is disrespectful to me. Am I wrong? He calls me fat a lot and he thinks that tearing me down will make me loose weight. I guess make me fight back I dont know. All it does is kills me. I have asked him to help me. Count crunches, push ups, ect.
He is emotionaly abusive to me. I feel dead inside. Yes I cried today when he ripped me apart because I told him that he lied but he left and the tears stopped. I am numb. I dont care any more. I need opinions....facts just no bashing PLEASE. I have tried to stay with him but it is taking it's toll. I feel like crack has won and I have lost.
Quoting tossed:It is hard to be reasonable with a drug addict. Protect yourself.
This is my answer right here!!!
I too am married to a pot head under the guise of medical usage but it is so much more!!! Currently I am paying bills and saving money, getting birth certificates,etc... ya know, getting my ducks in a row so I am prepared to leave within the year espeially if he continues down this path. Mine has no wish to change and will not get any help sounds like yours is the same. Sorry for your challenges Oh and I too am fat (size 20 at 5'9") thats right, I'm fat, piss me off and I'll sit on you and squish you so STFU!!! hahaha Good Luck!!
Quoting tossed:It is hard to be reasonable with a drug addict. Protect yourself.
Quoting Anonymous:
Teeth easily fixed, kids...ehh they will get over it or learn from it. So shazzam!!
Quoting Eagle293:
Oh yeah that'll solve everything. Smh. Don't forget her teeth will rot. And her kids will suffer. But hey as long as she's skinny for dh who cares right?
Quoting Anonymous:
Smoke crack and you won't be fat!
Do you ever get hit on even looking a mess?
Why inflict this silly cosmetic pain on a baby!?!