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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

"we need to cut our spending" no YOU need to cut YOUR spending

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 116 Replies

Me and my DH got married 3 years ago but we decided for the sake of fairness and avoiding issues with money and the kids, we would keep our money separate until all the kids are out of high school. We divide up the bills based on whose kids are here and how often they are here  and the rest of the money, we are free to each spend how we want.We are very much a blended family in how we treat each other and the kids, it's just financially, I do for my kids, he does for his. I think it actually works out better because we don't fight about money or whose kids get what. Also, we knew we wouldn't have any children together so that wasn't going to be an issue

Well, DH's work told him that he will no longer be able to work overtime, meaning that his income will go from getting paid for 55 hours (works 50 and then 10 overtime are time and a half) to 40 hours. He has always worked overtime so yeah, it is going to greatly affect his income. He was going over things and said "we need to cut back on our spending" I looked at him and said "no, you are going to have to cut back on your spending". He was the one who first suggested keeping the money separate and I know it was because at the time, my ex was not very faithful in paying his child support and he didnt' want to end up paying for my kids at his own children's expense. I was fine with that because I would feel that same way. I mean if either of us lost our jobs and it was a matter of the kids not having stuff they needed, of course the other would step up but for wants, it is fine to do for our own.

He is bitching now because he thinks that he should get to pay for less of the bills around the house (not pay Internet, cable or netflix) because he says if he was on his own, he would cut those things out. The problem is the Internet and cable we are on contract for so he wouldn't be able to cut them and neither can I. Plus I pay the netflix already. He said that he shouldn't have to cut extras for his kids (paying for activities or giving them spending money)

I am really upset that now he wants to be more unified with our money now that he is having a harder time but it was fine back when I wasn't doing as well. Would anyone else be hurt by this?

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 19, 2013 at 4:56 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 19, 2013 at 4:58 PM
6 moms liked this
Yea, this is why it's all OUR money...
mom2priceboys
by Gold Member on Jan. 19, 2013 at 4:59 PM

With his loss of income has he applied to have any of his child support payment reduced???

opal10161973
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 4:59 PM
6 moms liked this

Sorry buddy, can't have it both ways.  Maybe he could get a second job?

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 19, 2013 at 5:00 PM

No because CS is based on him working 40 hours a week, not overtime (his ex and the court does know he was working overtime but it wasn't taken into account for CS)


Quoting mom2priceboys:

With his loss of income has he applied to have any of his child support payment reduced???



Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 19, 2013 at 5:01 PM
2 moms liked this

That's how I feel too. I would have been fine putting our money together or doing like this but it's not fair to change it now that it would benefit him.


Quoting opal10161973:

Sorry buddy, can't have it both ways.  Maybe he could get a second job?



PaperClip811
by Silver Member on Jan. 19, 2013 at 5:01 PM
1 mom liked this

 Hmmm. I see his point, but I also see yours. He liked the arrangement when it suited him, but now that it isnt quite so nice, he wants you to take over more household bills. But also when a person loses income, the first thing to go is 'extras'.

I think I'd look at the difference in paying the early termination fee, lowering the services or paying the monthly costs until the contract is up, and go from there. Try to compromise. Losing 15 hours worth of pay a week is pretty significant!

skittlebeans88
by Platinum Member on Jan. 19, 2013 at 5:01 PM
Second job
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 19, 2013 at 5:03 PM
1 mom liked this

If the cable and Internet are on a contract together most places will let you cut one as long as you keep the other. I think given the fact that the circumstances are beyond his control I'd be more than willing to help out. That's what life partners do. What would you do if your hours got cut? 

JanuaryBaby06
by Gold Member on Jan. 19, 2013 at 5:03 PM

if we had the same type of set up as you guys yes that would bother me.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 19, 2013 at 5:03 PM

It would cost almost as much to terminate service as what we would pay for the whole rest of the contract. Plus, with 5 teens/preteens, we have to have Internet, most of their homework requires them to have it.


Quoting PaperClip811:

 Hmmm. I see his point, but I also see yours. He liked the arrangement when it suited him, but now that it isnt quite so nice, he wants you to take over more household bills. But also when a person loses income, the first thing to go is 'extras'.

I think I'd look at the difference in paying the early termination fee, lowering the services or paying the monthly costs until the contract is up, and go from there. Try to compromise. Losing 15 hours worth of pay a week is pretty significant!



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