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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I need some help

Posted by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 9:38 PM
  • 62 Replies

I have a 3 year old dd and her father has had custody of her for a little over a year. I recently moved out of state, and am filing a modification in visitation on Monday. Her father is being slightly difficult about it, so I'm sure I'll have to go to court. Does anyone know if it is possible to appear in court over the phone? I know it varies per state. The court hearing would be in Missouri. I am in Texas. I also have an 8 month old dd, and traveling for one court hearing would not be ideal. If I absolutely have to travel, I have no problem doing so. I would just prefer to not drag my youngest through that if I don't have to. I'm not looking to get bashed, or judged. I just really need honest advice and help.

by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 9:38 PM
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Replies (1-10):
audreesmama
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 9:39 PM
1 mom liked this

I doubt it. Why does he have custody? I think that would be the biggest hurdle. 

                                       

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 19, 2013 at 9:40 PM
2 moms liked this

Why do you not have your eldest child with you, but you have another child? This makes no sense. Why have a second if you don't have the first?!

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 19, 2013 at 9:40 PM
I would do what it took to get to see my child. Including going to court no matter how many miles away.

If you weren't willing to go why file for it?
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 19, 2013 at 9:42 PM

All of my modifications have been over the phone.

audreesmama
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 9:42 PM

From http://www.ci.st-joseph.mo.us/municourt/municourt_faq.cfm

"Can I talk to the Judge over the phone?

The Judge cannot discuss a pending case. You must see the Judge during regular court session at 8:00am or 9:30 a.m., on a first come, first serve basis."

I think you'll be in family court, but it shouldn't matter.

                                       

TexanMomOf6
by Gold Member on Jan. 19, 2013 at 9:45 PM

Doubt it. Call the court in Missouri. Or a Missouri lawyer.

KrissRenea
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 9:55 PM

He has custody because He made me out to be a bad mother. I was in school for Cosmetology, and he had me served with custody papers, an emergency restraining order, and emergency custody. He claimed I was trying to leave the state with my daughter. I was not. He knew that. He also claimed that I was on drugs, which I have never touched.

We had an agreement between the two of us after we split up that we would alternate weeks with her. I had had her for around 2 months at the time he filed custody papers. He had claimed he couldn't feed her, and that I should keep her until he could. I had no problem with that.

I had court two days after I was served, then was told by the judge that my ex would pay me child support, seeing how he was working and I was in school full time and still trying to support her on my own. I didn't care too much about that. I would have been fine without it. What I had a problem with was when the judge ordered for child support, he filled it in as I was working full time at minimum wage, and so was he. He was actually working full time at 10 dollars an hour. Minimum wage is 7.25. I wasnt working. That was my first clue that something wasnt right. I was then told that I would be notified of the next court hearing. In the weeks after that first hearing, I applied for legal aid, and got that straight. My lawyer informed me that I would be notified by her of any court appearances I needed to make. I was never notified. My dd's father called the day after court saying he won full legal and physical custody. I had/have visitation every other weekend.

I later found out, through one of his friends, that the judge on our case was a family friend of his parents. I am lost, and I know right now all I am capable of doing, until I finish school, is to change my visitation to an out of state agreement.

mysticmom90
by Bronze Member on Jan. 19, 2013 at 9:58 PM

Why would a judge grant you visitation if you don't even want to show up for a court date? I wouldn't even try to do a phone court date, showing up would show that you are committed.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 19, 2013 at 9:58 PM
Yes, we do all of our custody hearings by phone.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 19, 2013 at 9:58 PM

You can appear in court over the phone in Texas, I bet Missouri will also allow modifications.  But you have to get approval of the judge.  It can't be a last minute thing.  So write, call or contact the judge immediately to get approval!  

Just out of curiousity, why does he have one child & you have the other? 

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