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Has anyone ever been stalked?

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Please bare with me, I will do my best with explaining this. 6 months a man who would be twice my age came up to me saying he's been watching me for so long and wanted to introduce himself, bare in mind this was at the grocery shop. Ok seemed harmless. Then he started popping up all the time, I would avoid eye contact and keep walking but he would always come back an tap me on the shoulder. Then it proceed to him popping out of no where and recognizing me from behind and rubbing me on the back and complimenting what I was wearing. So I started going on different days and times, hadn't seen him for a while then last week he pops up and tells me he wrote me a Christmas card and hung around everyday to give it to me. I said I'm married an this needs to stop. So as I'm leaving the shops he pokes me in my ribs demanding to know what's wrong with me and gave me a business bars claiming to be a councellor. I went home and called the police and their advice was be blunt an tell him to back off if he approaches you again. I also reported him with the business card and it turns out its fake, he's made them himself. So come Wednesday I'm grocery shopping with the kids, he comes over with the card, I tell him very blunt to leave me alone, I'm married and his behavior is not appropriate an I want to be left alone, he swears calls me names and tosses the card at me. The card said how he looks forward to seeing me, he waits for me, how beautiful my children are and asking me out for coffee. I reported this to the police. I get a call the next day from a friend who works at the store telling me he was there at 9 asking if she had seen me and making up lies for why he was looking for me, he went back at lunch time as well. The police tell me until I can ring them and identify him they can't do much. If anyone has been in a situation like this, how did you get it to stop?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 10:13 PM
Replies (91-97):
momof2891
by Gold Member on Jan. 20, 2013 at 8:51 PM
I had that problem when I was in college. Thank God for a big brother that was a firefighter and in the military and his friends. We talked to the college and one of his friends from the fd walked with me to and from classes and the cafeteria and another one that was a cop would patrol the campus and gave some police grade pepper spray. After being caught trying to break into my car by my cop friend and fd friend, he dropped out and moved away. Never had a problem again.
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wrensong
by Pagan Mother on Jan. 20, 2013 at 9:38 PM

I was stalked my my abusive ex husband. He was threatening to kill me and our kids because he didn't want to pay child support. I sold everything I had and literally left in the middle of the night.

I got on a bus with a 4yr old and a 6 yr old and $300 in my pocket to go to another state to live with an ount I had only met once in my life.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 18 on Jan. 20, 2013 at 9:41 PM

That seemed harmless? If some random guy approached me and told me this I would have freaked out!

Quoting lovelove211:

Please bare with me, I will do my best with explaining this. 6 months a man who would be twice my age came up to me saying he's been watching me for so long and wanted to introduce himself, bare in mind this was at the grocery shop. Ok seemed harmless.
Then he started popping up all the time, I would avoid eye contact and keep walking but he would always come back an tap me on the shoulder. Then it proceed to him popping out of no where and recognizing me from behind and rubbing me on the back and complimenting what I was wearing. So I started going on different days and times, hadn't seen him for a while then last week he pops up and tells me he wrote me a Christmas card and hung around everyday to give it to me. I said I'm married an this needs to stop. So as I'm leaving the shops he pokes me in my ribs demanding to know what's wrong with me and gave me a business bars claiming to be a councellor. I went home and called the police and their advice was be blunt an tell him to back off if he approaches you again. I also reported him with the business card and it turns out its fake, he's made them himself. So come Wednesday I'm grocery shopping with the kids, he comes over with the card, I tell him very blunt to leave me alone, I'm married and his behavior is not appropriate an I want to be left alone, he swears calls me names and tosses the card at me. The card said how he looks forward to seeing me, he waits for me, how beautiful my children are and asking me out for coffee. I reported this to the police. I get a call the next day from a friend who works at the store telling me he was there at 9 asking if she had seen me and making up lies for why he was looking for me, he went back at lunch time as well. The police tell me until I can ring them and identify him they can't do much. If anyone has been in a situation like this, how did you get it to stop?


BEXi
by BEXi on Jan. 20, 2013 at 9:43 PM

That is SO scary...


Ive been harassed, but nothing like that.

                                                         
                                          
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Queen_Bree
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 9:48 PM

Carry mase and spray him if he comes close to you...

raye-chan
by Raye on Jan. 20, 2013 at 10:00 PM
For the most part he is. he recently moved to Tennessee a couple months back but still comes back to mo at least every few Weeks. I just have to watch more carefully when I do spot him in the area since he posted on Facebook awhile back that he was going to kidnap my son for payback :(

Quoting lovelove211:

I hope he is leaving you alone now. I'm taking mom with me this week but I doubt he will approach me if I'm not by myself




Quoting raye-chan:

Up until three months ago, my dangerous ex did the same thing.





Document the days, times, etc. see if anyone you know can also vouch for you so you have proof he's stalking you.

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MamaMoopsie
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 10:03 PM

Yes, I've been there and it is really scary. Mine was at work. I worked the front desk at a hotel and this man came up to ask what time it was. Harmless, right? Later that evening I get this phone call from this man asking me if I'd felt the same connection he had when he'd asked me what time it was...it was the day of daylight savings time. I'd had people asking me what time it was all day. Anyway, for months I would get phone calls at work from this guy. I'd try to tell him to leave me alone, that I wasn't interested and these calls were bothering me. Then they started getting obscene, heavy breathing, him saying he was picturing me naked and jacking off. I was dating a really nice guy then and one night after work I changed into a really cute outfit with my favorite sexy heels and went to meet my boyfriend at the bar. The next day at work I get this call from the guy saying that he was pissed off that I would dress so sexy for some other guy and that he was going to make my bf pay for touching me. I'd tried calling the police, but like they told you, I couldn't even identify this guy, couldn't describe him, so there was nothing they could do. I called the police again and told them that this guy was making threats, again I got the brush off. I told my boyfriend, he said he'd pick me up every night from work and protect me. Then the guy called and talked to one of my coworkers and bimbo that she was, she gave him my cell phone number and I started getting these obscene calls night and day. He would tell me where I'd been that day, what I was wearing, and who I was with. He told me to break up with my boyfriend or he was going to hurt him.

It was a nightmare. This went on for seven months before I decided to play it differently. I went to the police department, sat down with a detective, told him everything that was happening, then told him I was going to use myself as bait if I had to to protect the people I love. This man had threatened to kill my pets, my family, and my boyfriend at this point. My boyfriend's tires had all been slashed one night when I stayed over, I found open tins of dog food in my backyard (thankfully my dogs had not eaten it). So, I told this detective that the next time this guy called I would tell him that I'd broken up with my boyfriend and was ready to meet him face to face and set up a place where my brothers and my boyfriend would be waiting to detain this guy (and the police if we could manage it) and then I wanted this guy to be arrested for stalking me.

That's exactly what I did, and the guy met me and my brothers and boyfriend grabbed him while I called the cops and they arrested him. He pleaded out and didn't serve any time or get any sort of real punishment (unsupervised parole) but in the mean time I moved, left my job, and changed my phone number. I've never heard from him again.

My advice to you is to talk to the owners/managers of the grocery store and let them know what's going on. Next time he shows up they should call the police (or have your friend call the police). Try shopping at a different store for a while if possible. Your security and piece of mind is worth it.

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