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Is anyone in here a foster parent?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 8 Replies

My dh and I have been very seriously considering becoming foster parents. I have some questions that I was wondering if anyone in here could answer.

My kids are still pretty young...my son is almost four and my daughter is almost one. Would it be better to wait until they are a bit older? How old?

 I know there is a required orientation period with classes, but if a special needs or medically challenged child is placed in my home, will I receive special instruction on how to care for him/her?

How many foster children can I take in at one time?

Do I have to provide a separate bedroom for each foster child?

I feel like I shouldn't take in kids that are older than my children, for safety reasons...does that make sense or am I just being over protective?

How do you deal with saying goodbye when the kids leave your home?

How do you deal with it if you get a child that has been terribly abused but the system gives them back to their parents? How often does that actually happen?

How do you deal with your own emotions when you take in a child that has been abused?


ETA: I did look into foster parenting groups on here, but you have to be a member to post in them. So I thought I would ask in here first.


Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 19, 2013 at 11:49 PM
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Replies (1-8):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 19, 2013 at 11:56 PM

Bump

schatzi869
by Gold Member on Jan. 19, 2013 at 11:57 PM
My best friend has adopted two of her foster children. She's also fostered a preemie-baby and is now fostering her cousin and will likely be adopting her too. She met with the doctors of the preemie and taught what she needed to know. She only fostered him until some of his family could care for him. They call and ask her if she's willing to foster a kid and tells her their ages, etc. When she took the classes and was approved, she had to say what races and ages she was willing to foster. They have to have their own bed and car seats/cribs have to be new.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 19, 2013 at 11:58 PM


Quoting schatzi869:

My best friend has adopted two of her foster children. She's also fostered a preemie-baby and is now fostering her cousin and will likely be adopting her too. She met with the doctors of the preemie and taught what she needed to know. She only fostered him until some of his family could care for him. They call and ask her if she's willing to foster a kid and tells her their ages, etc. When she took the classes and was approved, she had to say what races and ages she was willing to foster. They have to have their own bed and car seats/cribs have to be new.

That's good to know, thank you.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 20, 2013 at 12:01 AM

Anyone else?

fullxbusymom
by Ruby Member on Jan. 20, 2013 at 12:03 AM

If same sex you don't have supply seperate bedroom for each foster child. 

Honestly the kids won't even get notice they are moving till usually the day or night of.  So good byes are usually a couple of hours long not days. 

If you are emergency foster care than you won't have a say if they are older.  Honestly most likely than not the kids will be older. 

Also cribs and car seats don't have to be brand new just up to safety regulations. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 20, 2013 at 12:04 AM


Quoting fullxbusymom:

If same sex you don't have supply seperate bedroom for each foster child. 

Honestly the kids won't even get notice they are moving till usually the day or night of.  So good byes are usually a couple of hours long not days. 

If you are emergency foster care than you won't have a say if they are older.  Honestly most likely than not the kids will be older. 

Also cribs and car seats don't have to be brand new just up to safety regulations. 

Thanks for the information!

tricia1332
by Platinum Member on Jan. 20, 2013 at 12:15 AM

Being a foster parent is very time consuming. You have all of their dr apps,counseling(if they have it) and visitation that varies on the parents goals set by cps. Also with your kids being 4 and 1 it's best not toget any older than your oldest. 

Also you will not have as much private family time as you do now. I don't mean because you have foster children. I mean with the visits you will have with the caseworkers, and any other specialist the foster child needs, guardian ad litem and court dates and apps you will have with the cps workers as well. You will have unexpected visits that range between 8 am and 5pm sometimes later but that depends on the caseworker you have.

A very important thing that is NOT mentioned in the classes is the chance/odds of getting false allegations from the parents against you. This usually happens when the parent feels threatened by you in some way or if they are getting closer to the deadline of services and they haven't completed everything. Or if the department has told then they are going to start relinquishment of their rights.

your license will specify the number of children you can foster . You won't get special needs children unless you say you want that and get the appropriate training beforehand.

foster children ages 1 and older will need to have their own space. If its a girl and you have a girl they can share a room. And vice versa.  You can not have a boy and girl share a bedroom.they have to have at least 10sq feet of space per child. That generally means no more than 2 to a standard bedroom (10x10 size)

i have gone through foster kids leaving and it depends on the amount of time you have them as well as other things. It's hard there is no way to protect yourself. I mean especially if the child came from a home where they were seriously injured and they are going back to the parents. It's heartbreaking. It's a big loss. You do get over it in time but always allow yourself time to grieve between a child leaving and getting a new foster child. You asked how often it happens that the parents get their kids back after severe abuse. I hate to say it but more than it should.

also the amount of notice you get when they are removing the child is based on how long you have the child, if you asked for them to be removed, and if they are returning to their parents, or other relatives etc...

everyone has their own feelings about child abuse all I can say is that in my case I felt the need to protect the children when they came into my home. It's hard to explain.

if you have more questions or anything I can try to answer.


by the way after many years of fostering children we have adopted 2.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 20, 2013 at 1:29 AM


Quoting tricia1332:

Being a foster parent is very time consuming. You have all of their dr apps,counseling(if they have it) and visitation that varies on the parents goals set by cps. Also with your kids being 4 and 1 it's best not toget any older than your oldest. 

Also you will not have as much private family time as you do now. I don't mean because you have foster children. I mean with the visits you will have with the caseworkers, and any other specialist the foster child needs, guardian ad litem and court dates and apps you will have with the cps workers as well. You will have unexpected visits that range between 8 am and 5pm sometimes later but that depends on the caseworker you have.

A very important thing that is NOT mentioned in the classes is the chance/odds of getting false allegations from the parents against you. This usually happens when the parent feels threatened by you in some way or if they are getting closer to the deadline of services and they haven't completed everything. Or if the department has told then they are going to start relinquishment of their rights.

your license will specify the number of children you can foster . You won't get special needs children unless you say you want that and get the appropriate training beforehand.

foster children ages 1 and older will need to have their own space. If its a girl and you have a girl they can share a room. And vice versa.  You can not have a boy and girl share a bedroom.they have to have at least 10sq feet of space per child. That generally means no more than 2 to a standard bedroom (10x10 size)

i have gone through foster kids leaving and it depends on the amount of time you have them as well as other things. It's hard there is no way to protect yourself. I mean especially if the child came from a home where they were seriously injured and they are going back to the parents. It's heartbreaking. It's a big loss. You do get over it in time but always allow yourself time to grieve between a child leaving and getting a new foster child. You asked how often it happens that the parents get their kids back after severe abuse. I hate to say it but more than it should.

also the amount of notice you get when they are removing the child is based on how long you have the child, if you asked for them to be removed, and if they are returning to their parents, or other relatives etc...

everyone has their own feelings about child abuse all I can say is that in my case I felt the need to protect the children when they came into my home. It's hard to explain.

if you have more questions or anything I can try to answer.


by the way after many years of fostering children we have adopted 2.

Thank you so much, this was very helpful!

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