See what CafeMoms are saying about saving time this holiday season..
I married a man of privilege after dating for 4 years. Our different backgrounds have never been an issue. Sure, some things here and there would come up, but he never made me feel inadequate or ashamed. Even his family was very welcoming. His father and mother came from humble beginning, and his dad built some kind of construction empire. He owns several businesses from framing, construction, plumbing, landscaping, electrical etc. Basically, he owns a business for everything needed to build homes and never has to contract out. I don't know their worth, but its a lot. I would classify my background as upper lower, or lower middle income.
Last year we got married, and 8 months ago we bought a "modest" home. 4 bedroom 3 bath and 4100 square feet. I am currently 4 months pregnant. Its a little much but he and his family are very close, and the siblings often stay over on the weekends. So he insisted on having 2 guest bedrooms.
Anyways. After watching a movie tonight, I decided I was going to take a shower in the guest bathroom, which I have never used in the entire 8 months we have lived here. I rarely go in there except to clean or restock after company. He looked at me weird when I mentioned this, asking why. The bathrooms in our house are labeled luxury bathrooms. The guest bathroom is nothing special really, besides being oversized, it has this massive shower head hanging from the ceiling. I think its called a waterfall shower. And I just want to try it. Before this home, I have never showered in anything other than a standard shower.
Of course he finds this silly. I asked him, don't you find it silly that we have bathrooms that we have never even used? Not even the restrooms in them? He scoffed. Then he said it. "While I find this sort of thing cute, others will not. If you want to fit in, you have to stop acting like a commoner. Not everybody is as welcoming and tolerant as my family. I don't want you to get picked on". ::jaw drop:: I asked how I was acting like a commoner,its not like I am uneducated, trashy, or anything of the sort. He said getting excited about different types of showers is child like. Ok, maybe he has a point, and maybe its a little weird the way I stated it. But if I want to use all the bathrooms in my own home, then I will. Its not like I'm going to run and tell people about it.
So my question is. What exactly is proper? How am I supposed to act in social situations? How can I not act like a commoner when I don't even know what those actions are to begin with? If you are "privileged", what actions being displayed at lets say, a dinner, or party, would you label as "commoner" behavior?
Sorry, I didn't intend for this to be so long. Before you bash, no, I don't want to change who I am, but I do want to behave as expected during social functions. Its no different than exhibiting one behavior in a bar with friends, and another when at a formal function, like a wedding. Its just propriety.