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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

reality of divorce.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 73 Replies
2 moms liked this

i see often people who think that getting a divorce will make their lives instantly better. get out of a bad marriage, live a happy good life. i think people need to realize how much a divorce can rock your world. its coming up on the one year anniversary since my marriage ended. 2012 was a hell of a year for me. and things STILL arent the same. for the first time in my life, i'm in debt. got here trying to keep a roof over my kids heads. i didnt get child support. i'm digging myself out slowly. i should be all paid off in about 3 months. we have moved 3 times in the past year. i work so much, i barely see my kids now. i feel like i've lost that connection with them. its gone from mommy being home all day, to them seeing mommy a few hours every few days. i miss my kids. i havent had a girls night out in a year. havent had a drink in a year. and i have found family turns on you fast. my mil and fil have stopped speaking to me altogether. my step mom for some reason has cut off contact with me as well. ( my dad doesnt know why. hes still nice to me). i have had cps get called on me. talk to my kids. asked them if i beat them. i'm tired. mommys tired. i have had, up until the past month, no contact with my ex. there was no happy co-parenting with my ex. it was as if eachother didnt exist. i havent seen him, he cant be around me. too hard on him. i have gone into a consignment store, where my kids furniture was being sold. the stuff i left behind for them to have at my ex husbands house. i have been hurt, scared out of my fucking mind, up all night worrying, angry. i havent been happy. i know its a long road, i gotta crawl before i can walk, but a year in, and i'm still so fucked. i dont know how the rest of my year is going to go. but i knew when i filed that divorce, and sat in that courtroom, that i couldnt go back. you cant go back. you just have to understand that. you cant do anything but move forward. and try your best because shit changes. it changes in ways you would never think it would. divorce doesnt mean instant happiness.

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 20, 2013 at 3:25 PM
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Replies (1-10):
theCMtroll82
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 3:28 PM
This is why im afraid to get divorced
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peaches_04
by Gold Member on Jan. 20, 2013 at 3:31 PM
2 moms liked this
Its better to go through a period of hell to make life better in the long run
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KairisMama
by Emerald Member on Jan. 20, 2013 at 3:32 PM
Divorce sucks. My mom went through therapy and was on anti depressants. However it was still good my parents divorced. They needed to. It got better. Shes happily remarried today.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 20, 2013 at 3:33 PM
I know how you feel mama. :( divorce sucks. I thought id be happier.....but now I find myself wishing I could go back in time and change my decision. :(
MrsDavidB25
by Stacey on Jan. 20, 2013 at 3:34 PM
1 mom liked this

 Wow I am sorry things aren't going well for you. I got divorced and things went well and I am much happier now. Good luck to you.

Elle.tea.22
by Ruby Member on Jan. 20, 2013 at 3:34 PM

Divorce means less money, less time, less attention... Where there were maybe 2 paychecks for one home, there is now 2 homes, 2 parents to keep a strong front for kids, now one might have one opinion and the other an other so kids get away with pushing their boundaries... A lot goes into a divorce and not a lot comes out sometimes. 

Mine was piece of cake and I was happy 2 days later (even had a party with 45 guests... and gifts!)  but we had no kids or anything to split, just small debts (under 10k if I remember correctly lol) and I was 22 (I think), enough time to make my life over, done with school, had a job... very diferent situation. My lifestyle hasn't changed.

muzzyh
by Gold Member on Jan. 20, 2013 at 3:35 PM
It does suck. But I wouldn't have stayed with him for anything.
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mom2priceboys
by Gold Member on Jan. 20, 2013 at 3:36 PM

I hear ya and remember my paretns going through this stuff and truthfully one of the main reasons I have not left yet!! So sorry for your struggles and try to keep up your brave face!!

sweetnspacey
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 3:37 PM
2 moms liked this

I am just finishing my divorce now and it has drastically changed my life for the better.

mhaney03
by Silver Member on Jan. 20, 2013 at 3:38 PM
3 moms liked this

Well, I'm sorry you are having a hard time, truly am.

But my divorce was like instant happiness for me.  I am actually physically healthier without him.  I am a better parent without him.  He doesn't have his fingers in my bank account overdrawing me every month.  My hair has started to grow back.  I don't feel like I'm raising a 4th child anymore.  He's no longer able to emotionally and mentally drain me.  I even made Dean's List this past session.. when I was with him I could barely pass my classes.  It's different situation for everyone.  Your situation is not a one-size-fits-all.

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