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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Really need help with my almost 8 year old boy.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 19 Replies
I really need advice.....my son is almost 8 and within the last year my sweet little boy is completely gone. He has the worst attitude and DH and I are going nuts. This kid is NEVER happy. We try extremely hard to give our kids a good life and have fun. He will enjoy things occasionally but it just seems like he is not enjoying life period. He is talking back a lot more and just mopes around constantly. He is also extremely dramatic and I cannot tell what he actually means and doesn't mean. Today he was being rude and talking back at my inlaws. I got angry and told him he cannot talk to us like that and he shouted out "I'm garbage!" It shocked me and I explained he was not at all garbage, that he needed to change his attitude. But with how dramatic he is I really don't know if he means it or was just being dramatic.





He also has a weight issue, he is a big boy and I think it's starting to really bother him. He was just telling me the other day that he really hopes he isn't cubby in high school. He's likes to participate in sports but he is not very coordinated and hes at the age where some kids who are naturals start excelling. He also hasn't seemed to form any real friendships at school......he says he plays with this one kid but he doesn't think the kid likes him very much. Ugh I'm sure all these things going on and him being extremely hard on himself are resulting in his attitude but I don't know what to do to help. We are NOT hard on him what so ever. It's truly brought on all himself. What do I do to help him be happier and more self confident!? (And also not so rude.....)
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 20, 2013 at 8:30 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 20, 2013 at 8:40 PM
Bump
robyann
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 8:46 PM

 Well you seem to think this all may stem from him being "a big boy". Maybe try to get him involved in some kind of sport. Something he can do outside that keeps him active. Riding his bike, running, etc.... If you can do something like this as a family it'll be more fun. Also try finding some other activity that he is good at. Like computers, math, word puzzles, anything really, something that he really excels at and can be proud of himself for. GL

HotMommaStout
by Member on Jan. 20, 2013 at 8:46 PM

My 8 year old son was acting like that. He has been on soy milk since he was one because he is deathy allergic to dairy. I thought maybe it was puberty being brought on early by the soy, so we switched him to Almond and/or coconut milk and BAM he was back to his old self practically overnight.

Becase your son is bigger than average, he is more likely to go through early puberty, so it's very possible that is what is going on here. Also, if he drinks a lot of non organic cows milk, it is full of growth hormones, so you might want to cut back on that...it may be pushing him into puberty before he is ready.

Susannah: Artistic, creative, balanced, healthy eating, mostly green, circumcising, vaccinating, occasionally spanking, non judgmental Air Force wife and stay at home mommy of three crazy little boys in elementary school.





KrissyKC
by Platinum Member on Jan. 20, 2013 at 8:46 PM

Sometimes you can't fix it and make him happy, he has to find out how to work toward his own happiness.

Best thing you can do is keep the lines of communication open, keep offering clear boudaries and discipline when they are crossed, and address the "poor pitiful me" comments and let them be a boundary, too.

"Son, if you really feel poorly about yourself, I want you to come talk with me.   However, I'm not going to allow you to use it to manipulate me when we are dealing with your behavior.   Next time you yell something negative about yourself when I am correcting you, then such and such will happen."   (maybe you can insist he write 10 complete sentences explaining his good qualities instead.)


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 20, 2013 at 8:49 PM

My daughter's nine. My husband wants to know where's the adorable six year old he remembers. She became increasingly mouthy, and in this last couple of months has become violent. When I punish her, she can cry and scream and refuse to get off the floor for four to eight hours. It's getting worse, and not better.

I just started her in counseling a couple months ago.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 20, 2013 at 8:58 PM
Oh he already does! Just in the past year he's done basketball, baseball, football and karate. I insist he does one sport or activity per season and this is what he chose. I even let him do 2 different leagues for basketball because one was only 1 day per week and he enjoyed it. He has a pretty good diet......rarely has junk food, or soda, doesn't snack often and eats well rounded meals. I do have to force him to be active at home because he would much rather be on the computer or iPod.


Quoting robyann:

 Well you seem to think this all may stem from him being "a big boy". Maybe try to get him involved in some kind of sport. Something he can do outside that keeps him active. Riding his bike, running, etc.... If you can do something like this as a family it'll be more fun. Also try finding some other activity that he is good at. Like computers, math, word puzzles, anything really, something that he really excels at and can be proud of himself for. GL


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 20, 2013 at 9:07 PM

Can you sit down with him, express your concerns, and ask him for help in coming up with solutions.  Some kids are down right mean.  They may shun him because of his weight (I don't know how big he is but you mentioned it as a concern).  Keep non-processed food out of the house and keep him active.  Unless they are running drills in baseball, he is probably doing more standing around than actually exercising in that sport.

If he has some friends, invite them over for playdates.  Anything you can do to help him establish friendships.  If you have him involved in finding solutions he'll have some ownership in it.  Good luck.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 20, 2013 at 9:11 PM

He depressed. Get him some help.

robyann
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 9:13 PM

 Well that's great. He should take some self esteem from all that. Hmmm....is he an only child? Maybe let him invite someone from school for a "play date". Like either on a Sat, or even just come home with him for school one day for a few hours. Something to help him make some closer friends. Maybe once a week let him invite someone, and encourage him to pick someone different every week or so.

Quoting Anonymous:

Oh he already does! Just in the past year he's done basketball, baseball, football and karate. I insist he does one sport or activity per season and this is what he chose. I even let him do 2 different leagues for basketball because one was only 1 day per week and he enjoyed it. He has a pretty good diet......rarely has junk food, or soda, doesn't snack often and eats well rounded meals. I do have to force him to be active at home because he would much rather be on the computer or iPod.


Quoting robyann:

 Well you seem to think this all may stem from him being "a big boy". Maybe try to get him involved in some kind of sport. Something he can do outside that keeps him active. Riding his bike, running, etc.... If you can do something like this as a family it'll be more fun. Also try finding some other activity that he is good at. Like computers, math, word puzzles, anything really, something that he really excels at and can be proud of himself for. GL


 

Mayra99
by Bronze Member on Jan. 20, 2013 at 9:14 PM
1 mom liked this
My 8 yo was just doing this, this last week he has been amazing. He was destroying things, being hateful, & physically hitting, kicking, biting, & scratching Dh & I when we would try to restrain him. It got to the point where we were advised to either call the police or the hospital. He broke his bed last weekend. I just couldn't take it anymore. I packed his things & we went driving. I drove probably 30 minutes & told him I just couldn't take the fighting or disrespect anymore. It was hurting me physically & hurting my heart. I told him that I was taking him to another home for a few days & that I loved him but I couldn't have a bully in my home with 4 other children in my fine, especially the baby. I was crying as I told him. I said you really need to think about what your doing to this family & yourself. I will gladly come get you if you can promise to be my sweet boy again. Then I pulled into my sisters driveway, which is 2 blocks away. Yes it may have been whatever you think, but I was seriously at my breaking point. He was there two nights, I talked to him multiple times both days & told him every single time that I loved him & missed him, just not his attitude.
He's been home & doing well. He's had 2 time outs this week, nothing major, no fits, no yelling. Every little while I will stop what I'm doing & tell him I appreciate his attitude & give him a hug & tell him I love him. He tells me that's what reminds him to calm down. He said to tell you that while he was at my sisters, he had to remind himself that when he missed home he would think of me crying & saying I love you, please stop doing this. He said, "tell her do what you did, give him hugs, put him in the shower when he starts getting mad, explain why he's in trouble, & like you did, say even though your in trouble & being mean, I love you! Also, when he is being good, tell him he us doing awesome & give him a high 5 & a hug"
Good luck
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