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One of my students got popped in the mouth by their mother!

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I teach high school and I had a confrence with a kid who has been acting up and her parents.

The girl started acting out in the meeting, telling her mom what she was going to do, telling me to shut up, calling me a liar when I had the grades to prove it ect.

The girl called her mom a bitch and her mom smacked her in the mouth. The girl didn't bleed or cry. just put her head down.


I cant help but feel satisfaction. I had to hold in my laughter. This little terror has been distruptive and disrespectful since August. Im glad parents are parenting.


What would you have done?

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 20, 2013 at 11:57 PM
Replies (351-359):
viv212
by Platinum Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 3:41 PM
I learned this in just taking 1 class in Child Development. I swear they should make that class mandatory for all parents to be.

Quoting svolkov:

 


as someone who has a masters degree in behavior analysis you are sorely lacking in your discipline creativity. there are so many more options than just taking something, or grounding, or hitting


Quoting Anonymous:

That time? Nope never mouthed off again. Disciplined and things taken away, never again. Though back then I didnt care if my parents took things away.

You saying that is the same as being sorry anyone needs to be disciplined to listen. You make no sense. Some kids learn in order to not sit in time out, or lose things, or be grounded they must obey.



Quoting svolkov:


 



that time. sorry you had to "learn" that in order to not get hit you had to obey.



Quoting Anonymous:

Really? I learned not to mouth off.

She popped her in the mouth, she didnt beat her or punch her.




Quoting svolkov:



 




no you cant hit your kids because of that. that is not discipline. hitting someone in the face is not going to teach them anything constructive.




Quoting Anonymous:

Here is the reason ppl can't discipline their children, bc ppl need to report abuse for everything.

There was no a abuse so nothing to report.





Quoting Anonymous:

Arent you a mandated reporter? I find it sickening that you wanted to laugh about a child being hit in the mouth. I dont care how she was acting, there are better ways to handle it.




 




 




 



 





 

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
svolkov
by Emerald Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 3:56 PM
I totally agree. I have a bachelors in ech-4 and spec ed too. We spent a lot of time on this stuff


Quoting viv212:

I learned this in just taking 1 class in Child Development. I swear they should make that class mandatory for all parents to be.



Quoting svolkov:

 



as someone who has a masters degree in behavior analysis you are sorely lacking in your discipline creativity. there are so many more options than just taking something, or grounding, or hitting



Quoting Anonymous:

That time? Nope never mouthed off again. Disciplined and things taken away, never again. Though back then I didnt care if my parents took things away.

You saying that is the same as being sorry anyone needs to be disciplined to listen. You make no sense. Some kids learn in order to not sit in time out, or lose things, or be grounded they must obey.




Quoting svolkov:



 




that time. sorry you had to "learn" that in order to not get hit you had to obey.




Quoting Anonymous:

Really? I learned not to mouth off.

She popped her in the mouth, she didnt beat her or punch her.





Quoting svolkov:




 





no you cant hit your kids because of that. that is not discipline. hitting someone in the face is not going to teach them anything constructive.





Quoting Anonymous:

Here is the reason ppl can't discipline their children, bc ppl need to report abuse for everything.

There was no a abuse so nothing to report.






Quoting Anonymous:

Arent you a mandated reporter? I find it sickening that you wanted to laugh about a child being hit in the mouth. I dont care how she was acting, there are better ways to handle it.





 





 





 




 







 


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
viv212
by Platinum Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 4:42 PM
You mean you are running a perfect household, yet your teen has issued in school and you pop her in the mouth because this is the way you would handle it, and your dd does not act surprised or astonished and just puts their head down, you think this is something that can happen?

I think differently. Obviously the teen has been having issues. Yes pop them in the mouth. That's showing that you're teaching respect. So when same dd gets called a bitch, your teen can pop someone in the mouth at school? You'll end up right back where you started. Maybe if you hit the teen again it'll work.


Quoting Anonymous:

Sorry if my child feels the need to call me a bitch better believe her mouth will be popped.



My sister hated school and rules, many teens are like that. Guess what, they act out.



Many teens get in the wrong crowd, and they act out.



Doesn't mean there are problems at home.




Quoting viv212:

No not always. But when a child/teen acts out so much that there has to be a parent conference, then that parent hits her dd in the face, I'm sure there is more going on in the home.





Quoting Anonymous:

Yes bc that is alwatlys the issue, home.







We werent abused but damn my sister was awful, cruel like you wouldnt believe. No issues at home, happy and loved. Rules and structure, but freedom as well. When that was taken away she was worse. She saw counselors, nothing worked.







Sorry but a teen acting out doesnt always mean something is wrong at home.








Quoting viv212:

Considering the girl has disciplinary problems at school, which caused the meeting I the first place, then a hit to the mouth, yes... There are problems at home. Some just don't see the flags.









Quoting Anonymous:

 Point?  Doesnt mean she lost control.






We all react, we just have different ways of doing things.






There is no abuse here.  people need to stop screaming abuse so CPS can deal w/real cases.












Quoting LilyofPhilly:

She baited her mother and the mother reacted.






Quoting Anonymous:






 How do you know she lost control? For some back talk is a pop in the mouth, some could be nastiness on the tongue.







 







Quoting LilyofPhilly:

The mother lost control. That's not discipline.







Quoting Anonymous:

This is so far from abuse, you are ridiculous.



If it was out of total anger and no control chances are it would've ended up being hard enough to leave a mark, cut open the lip but it left nothing but oh damn a blow to the child's ego. Something she needed it sounds like.



I was popped, not abused and my parents used control when doing it.










Quoting LilyofPhilly:

Yes it is abuse! This isn't the same as spanking. She hit her in one of the most sensitive parts on her body. And it wasn't done with self control, but as an angry reaction.











Quoting Anonymous:

Here is the reason ppl can't discipline their children, bc ppl need to report abuse for everything.







There was no a abuse so nothing to report.














Quoting Anonymous:

Arent you a mandated reporter? I find it sickening that you wanted to laugh about a child being hit in the mouth. I dont care how she was acting, there are better ways to handle it.








 







 












 



Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Bird16_J
by Gold Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 6:25 PM

Holy shit! If I would've called my mom a bitch at that age (we joke now and I'm 29 and will jokingly call her a grumpy ol' bitch and she calls me something funny like that too ya know?) I would've shit teeth for the next year! I would've slapped her mouth as well!!!


grownsexy
by Silver Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 10:37 PM

 


Quoting Anonymous:

Who's angry now?

And it's damn...not dam.

Quoting Anonymous:

 


 


Quoting Anonymous:

Yes I am violent. Yet I don't agree with hitting kids. That makes about as much sense as a teacher misspelling kindergarten. And no, CLEARLY a 5 year old with a gun needs more than a time-out. For one, it needs to be taken away from its parents for ever allowing any sort of access to the gun. Then the child needs some serious help. It definitely doesn't need to be hit.

You are crazy if you think I didn't know what you meant by asking if the child needed a time-out. I know exactly want you were getting at. Hitting is abuse. I don't care who does it, where its at or why. It's abuse.
Quoting Anonymous:


 



Where do you see anything about abusing the child? You need reading comprehension, I just said would you give the child a time out? I did not say that I would hit him. In this forum you are going to get differences of opinions and expressions. Everything that a person types is not necessarily what they would do. I was using an example of the child bringing a gun to school.



Did you read the part where I said I don't mean abuse I mean parenting. Before you respond with your excellent command of the english language make sure you understand.



Quoting Anonymous:

Yes. Let's get violent with our kindergartner who brought a GUN to school. Yes. Violence sounds like the answer here!!!! REALLY??????


You don't even know how to fucking spell kindergarten. SMH!!

Quoting Anonymous:



 




 




Quoting MsMimna:




I have to wonder about the home life.....why in the first place does this child act out? And why was it the mothers instinct to reach out and physically hit her? They are both in the wrong, but 2 wrongs don't make it right. 




I do understand your frustration as a teacher, but then again as a parent and an abuse survivor, I would have tried to take this girl aside first or had a counselor speak with her to see if there was an underlying reason that she was trying to get attention for. I'm sorry, but in today's society, terrible people do things to our children that we don't think could ever happen. And you had an obligation to find out if something else was going on. 




 




 The home life could be just fine, she can be a spoiled brat who thinks she could get away with anything. I know kids whose home life was fine they just think that they can do and say anything. A lot of times some kids have very tolerant parent's who don't correct them and they keep trying it. I just think the child felt smug and thought that she could step out of line and not get in trouble in front of her teacher.




I don't think getting hit in the mouth was abuse. Letting her continue on the path she is on is abuse and that's not parenting. Children sometimes have to be disciplined. Just recently a kindergarten child came to school with a gun, what you going to tell him time out. If parent's don't get back to the job of parenting then we will be in a world of trouble. I don't mean abuse I mean parenting. Terrible people would not be so influential on our children if we weren't afraid to parent them.



So I misspelled the word kindergarten and it causes you to lose your temper. I can express how I feel don't mean that I would do it. You seem like the violent type the way that you responded to a post posted by someone you don't know. I wont even stoop to your level as I couldn't go that low.



If you can't respond like a parent with sense then don't reply at all. Did I spell everything right this time?



 


Listen first of all I am not a teacher!!!!!! Second of all who gives a dam what you think? I don't!!!! and for the record you are entitled to your opinion and know matter how belligerent you get it wont change mine.


And you just spoke my thoughts thanks for that, however, I wasn't going to go in on the parent's because perhaps a child that would carry a gun has a parent like you.


 


 Oh my bad I dont give two shits what you think, and less then a damn about you correcting my spelling.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 29 on Jan. 21, 2013 at 10:47 PM

 


Quoting Anonymous:

Who's angry now?

And it's damn...not dam.

Quoting Anonymous:

 


 


Quoting Anonymous:

Yes I am violent. Yet I don't agree with hitting kids. That makes about as much sense as a teacher misspelling kindergarten. And no, CLEARLY a 5 year old with a gun needs more than a time-out. For one, it needs to be taken away from its parents for ever allowing any sort of access to the gun. Then the child needs some serious help. It definitely doesn't need to be hit.

You are crazy if you think I didn't know what you meant by asking if the child needed a time-out. I know exactly want you were getting at. Hitting is abuse. I don't care who does it, where its at or why. It's abuse.
Quoting Anonymous:


 



Where do you see anything about abusing the child? You need reading comprehension, I just said would you give the child a time out? I did not say that I would hit him. In this forum you are going to get differences of opinions and expressions. Everything that a person types is not necessarily what they would do. I was using an example of the child bringing a gun to school.



Did you read the part where I said I don't mean abuse I mean parenting. Before you respond with your excellent command of the english language make sure you understand.



Quoting Anonymous:

Yes. Let's get violent with our kindergartner who brought a GUN to school. Yes. Violence sounds like the answer here!!!! REALLY??????


You don't even know how to fucking spell kindergarten. SMH!!

Quoting Anonymous:



 




 




Quoting MsMimna:




I have to wonder about the home life.....why in the first place does this child act out? And why was it the mothers instinct to reach out and physically hit her? They are both in the wrong, but 2 wrongs don't make it right. 




I do understand your frustration as a teacher, but then again as a parent and an abuse survivor, I would have tried to take this girl aside first or had a counselor speak with her to see if there was an underlying reason that she was trying to get attention for. I'm sorry, but in today's society, terrible people do things to our children that we don't think could ever happen. And you had an obligation to find out if something else was going on. 




 




 The home life could be just fine, she can be a spoiled brat who thinks she could get away with anything. I know kids whose home life was fine they just think that they can do and say anything. A lot of times some kids have very tolerant parent's who don't correct them and they keep trying it. I just think the child felt smug and thought that she could step out of line and not get in trouble in front of her teacher.




I don't think getting hit in the mouth was abuse. Letting her continue on the path she is on is abuse and that's not parenting. Children sometimes have to be disciplined. Just recently a kindergarten child came to school with a gun, what you going to tell him time out. If parent's don't get back to the job of parenting then we will be in a world of trouble. I don't mean abuse I mean parenting. Terrible people would not be so influential on our children if we weren't afraid to parent them.



So I misspelled the word kindergarten and it causes you to lose your temper. I can express how I feel don't mean that I would do it. You seem like the violent type the way that you responded to a post posted by someone you don't know. I wont even stoop to your level as I couldn't go that low.



If you can't respond like a parent with sense then don't reply at all. Did I spell everything right this time?



 


Listen first of all I am not a teacher!!!!!! Second of all who gives a dam what you think? I don't!!!! and for the record you are entitled to your opinion and know matter how belligerent you get it wont change mine.


And you just spoke my thoughts thanks for that, however, I wasn't going to go in on the parent's because perhaps a child that would carry a gun has a parent like you.


 

For the record I am not angry, I just like debating when I am bored. I find this website entertaining when I don't have anything else to do. Most of the times I think the stories are too good to be true. I don't pay attention to spelling on here because most people don't. I hardly ever reply to these post. I find that once someone post something then it seems like a bunch of post appears on the same topic with a different twist.

I actually enjoyed your reply. I don't really care what people do I believe in live and let live. I don't really argue with people because its a waste of time. I will reply to some post for entertainment purposes but I would not lead anyone to harm. I do not correct people's spelling. I can type and spell sometimes my fingers are going faster than my thoughts. I don't always have time to read all replies so I will sometimes reply with out all the facts. When I make an error I apologize its that simple. I am not violent and I don't care about most situations to get angry about it. If a situation doesn't impact me are my family then I am good.

 

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 56 on Jan. 21, 2013 at 11:11 PM
Lots of correcting needed to be done before hitting the post button for this "teacher"


Quoting Anonymous:

LOL I read the title as it was spelt. Your student got POPED in the mouth. I started thinking of the Holy Father and was saying Ewwwwwww! Then I realized it was supposed to be POPPED.


LilyofPhilly
by Platinum Member on Jan. 22, 2013 at 7:09 AM
If another student had hit the girl in the mouth, shed be reporting it to someone. I don't think CPS necessarily needs to be called, but she should run it past her principal.

Quoting Anonymous:

Common sense is your friend.



I find it disturbing that people want to call abuse and CPS on everything. You truly do not understand the clear patterns and behavior of true abusers and children who have been truly abused. I don't blame you, not everyone has had formal training in this subject.



Just from the way the OP described the situation, I can give a conclusive assurance that this child is not being abuse and the mother used the pop as an attention grabber which obviously worked.



Not every child responds to verbal/tactical/stragetical discipline.



Quoting LilyofPhilly:

"One of"


Reading comprehension is your friend.


I find it pathetic that parents feel they need to resort to "popping" their child to get their attention. Seems like a rather primitive method to me.






Quoting Anonymous:

Dude....the girl is in high school. Also, I need to see your conclusive scientific studies that state that the mouth is "the most sensitive area of the body".







If the mother truly lost control, the girl would have lost a tooth, bled, something. The mother did it with obvious control to make sure she got the girls attention but not enough to hurt her.







Lastly, I have popped my DS in the mouth....guess what? I'm about to blow your little mind! Ready?







A lot of parents who pop the mouth, they really aren't popping it! They cup their hand enough that it makes a popping noise. It's generally enough to scare the kid....not hurt them!







Quoting LilyofPhilly:

She baited her mother and the mother reacted.









Quoting Anonymous:

 How do you know she lost control? For some back talk is a pop in the mouth, some could be nastiness on the tongue.












Quoting LilyofPhilly:

The mother lost control. That's not discipline.






Quoting Anonymous:

This is so far from abuse, you are ridiculous.



If it was out of total anger and no control chances are it would've ended up being hard enough to leave a mark, cut open the lip but it left nothing but oh damn a blow to the child's ego. Something she needed it sounds like.



I was popped, not abused and my parents used control when doing it.









Quoting LilyofPhilly:

Yes it is abuse! This isn't the same as spanking. She hit her in one of the most sensitive parts on her body. And it wasn't done with self control, but as an angry reaction.










Quoting Anonymous:

Here is the reason ppl can't discipline their children, bc ppl need to report abuse for everything.







There was no a abuse so nothing to report.













Quoting Anonymous:

Arent you a mandated reporter? I find it sickening that you wanted to laugh about a child being hit in the mouth. I dont care how she was acting, there are better ways to handle it.













 

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
fliptopz4
by Silver Member on Jan. 22, 2013 at 7:11 AM

nothing, any kid that is being that direspectful, deserves that

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