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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

For every woman here who was abused as a child

Posted by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 1:41 AM
  • 14 Replies
8 moms liked this

The thread about "what were you spanked with" opened up some wounds on me that I thought I had gotten past.  I'm 43, a mother of four, and I guess that deep down some wounds never heal.

So I just wanted to say to every woman here that was abused as a child, mentally, physically, or sexually, I am truly sorry.  I'm sorry you were not cherished and protected as you should have been.  I'm sorry those who should have been protecting you were the ones you suffered at the hands of.  You were not a bad child.  You were not ugly, stupid, or any of the horrible names that were shouted at you as a child.  You deserved to be loved, and my heart goes out to all of us that have these horrible scars that reopen from time to time.  

My way of coping with my childhood abuse is to lavish love, affection, humor, guidance, teaching humility without humiliating, empathy, and allowing my children to come to me for anything.  I don't ever want to see the look of fear in my children's eyes the way I know I looked at my mother growing up.  There is a huge difference between discipline and abuse.  

by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 1:41 AM
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Replies (1-10):
svolkov
by Emerald Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 1:43 AM
4 moms liked this
Amen to that. The moment your child looks at you in fear and hurt should be the moment you apologize and get help. Not rationalize it. Good for you op for being a great mom
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mydarlingsofia
by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 2:31 AM
1 mom liked this
I've really needed to hear this. I was molested from about 6-10 on a somewhat regular basis. For years I pushed all the memories back and honestly thought maybe they were dreams. But I couldnt fake those memories or feelings. I had a daughter Jan 17, 2012 and this last year has brought a lot of the memories back up. I'm so incredibly scared that it will happen to her and I wont know, because my mom didnt know. Obviously I'm going to do everything I can to make sure it doesnt but I cant control everything. Anyway, these memories have been eating at me and its pulling me away from my family. When I told my mom last month she said "why are you just now telling me? I dont understand. What happened? Why wont you tell me details? Why does having Amberli (dd) make it come back? What about your younger sisters?" Apparently she didnt believe me. She also said "Everything is obviously all about you. You dont care about anything except you and Jared." (df). I just said "You didnt go through it. I dont expect you to understand"... After 10 years I'm finally starting to deal with these issues and its been hard. I cant afford a counselor so I just ask df for extra loving and I keep loving my dd more and more. So this post is definitely a great reminder. Thank you.
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thetrollcat
by Meow on Jan. 21, 2013 at 2:32 AM

while I am not happy with the abuse I endured not only at home but people outside my home also, I thrive on my future and lived a much better life. I would have never succeeded on a better life if I stayed in the past.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jan. 21, 2013 at 2:44 AM

I am the OP of that post......My Mother was both physically & emotionally abusive. As an adult I understood that she was just doing what she was raised to know...........I tried to talk to her about it but she was sooo defensive & justified her abuse.....that added insult to injury :(

1stpreggers
by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 2:46 AM
I think deep down I'll always be mad at my mother.
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Fatal_Frost
by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 2:52 AM
I had the double whammy of physical abuse by my parents, then horrid bullying through school.... but you know what, I wouldnt go back and change it at all... through adversity grows character, and at this time in my life I love myself, who I am, and what I've accomplished... who's to say I'd be the same kick ass person with a great family if I had the "perfect" childhood...
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RMB2011
by Platinum Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 2:54 AM
Thank you.
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cjsix
by Platinum Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 2:54 AM
1 mom liked this

cryingYou made cry...good tears,yet sad ones too. Sad for all of us who went through these things and good because I need to hear the good things you said,not just from others but,I also need to tell them to myself...thank you.

I am like you and try so hard to be the best Mom to my kids and be there when they need me and to never do to them what I had done to me. 

group hugHugs for all of us who were hurt so very much as a child.

sweetieiv
by Ruby Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 3:15 AM
I'm sorry you went through that. I was also molested as a little girl. I confessed to my mom 2 years ago and she believed me but actually she said it was too late to do anything about it. At the very least I thought she'd give me a hug but all I got was a oh its too late now. Seriously I have felt alone and sad about this so many times. I just wanted some support because even though it happened so long ago, the shadow of what happened still haunts me. I can still relive the situation and feel scared and confused. If you ever want to talk or need someone to listen to you, you can pm me. I am here for you.
The op is right wounds always open up. I was also mentally abused by my mother. The sad thing is she will never know it. I remember after she would scream at me that I was a stupid idiot among other things, I would just sit there crying and praying that she wasn't my real mother. How sad is that huh? I see my son now and I know I could never hurt him with harsh words the way she hurt me.


Quoting mydarlingsofia:

I've really needed to hear this. I was molested from about 6-10 on a somewhat regular basis. For years I pushed all the memories back and honestly thought maybe they were dreams. But I couldnt fake those memories or feelings. I had a daughter Jan 17, 2012 and this last year has brought a lot of the memories back up. I'm so incredibly scared that it will happen to her and I wont know, because my mom didnt know. Obviously I'm going to do everything I can to make sure it doesnt but I cant control everything. Anyway, these memories have been eating at me and its pulling me away from my family. When I told my mom last month she said "why are you just now telling me? I dont understand. What happened? Why wont you tell me details? Why does having Amberli (dd) make it come back? What about your younger sisters?" Apparently she didnt believe me. She also said "Everything is obviously all about you. You dont care about anything except you and Jared." (df). I just said "You didnt go through it. I dont expect you to understand"... After 10 years I'm finally starting to deal with these issues and its been hard. I cant afford a counselor so I just ask df for extra loving and I keep loving my dd more and more. So this post is definitely a great reminder. Thank you.

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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 21, 2013 at 3:22 AM
I was 9 and I had woken up and I went to the living room. My mom was drunk and she was told telling my dad I was developing breast. My dad then started to squeeze them. I remember not saying a word and crossing my arms over my chest and going back to bed. I told my mom a few years later. She told my dad and he denied it. Then my dad told dh that I had lied and said he had molested me. My dad denies it. But I'll always remember.i also got chases with a switch and got hit with the belt. My mom would call me whore. My dad threw a ashtray at my head and I gushed blood. My parents are nuts. I could write a book on the abuse. But it's over and I wouldn't ever do that stuff to my kids.
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