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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I just found out my husband is dealing drugs

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

My husband and I separated last summer because I found out he selling all of his prescription pain killers. He is on oxycotin and oxycodone. We were separated for 3 months and he promised to stop selling his pills.

We got into counseling and worked through the problem of his selling drugs and the lying about it. Or so I thought. I let him come back home when I was sure that he was not selling anymore.

Well tonight he was in the shower and he got a text. I glanced over because at first I thought it was my phone. We have the same phone and the same text chime. He usually has his phone on vibrate and I never do

Anyway. I look and it is from the guy he used to sell to asking when he was going to meet him because he had some money to spend and needed some help. 

I picked up his phone and went throught it. He is selling again. There were texts from the same people he sold to before and some others I didn't recognise. All of them asking if he had anything left, or to meet him somewhere and that they had money.

When he got out of the shower, I confronted him. At least he didn't lie. He admitted he was selling. He wouldn't say for how long. His responce was "a little while" He said he was sorry and he would stop in a month or two.

Ok first of all I will NOT live with a drug dealer. 

Second, where is the money going? I pay all of the bills except the cell phone which is around $200 and the car insurance which is less than $100.

He makes over $1000 a month at his job. Who knows how much he is getting from the pills. 

I cannot and will not do this again. I am done. I have to get him out of my house.

I am laying here trying to figure out how to get him out tomorrow. I made him sleep on the couch tonight, so he knows I am pissed. 

This is a very small town and he went to school with half of the police department, plus I don't have proof. It is on his phone, which he has. So he has probably erased it by now.

Legally I can't just tell him to leave and make him go. I don't know how but somehow I have to get him out. 

I am filing for divorce as soon as possible. 

Any ideas how to get him out? 

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 21, 2013 at 3:37 AM
Replies (21-30):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 21, 2013 at 3:56 AM

He knew when he came back it was his last chance

Quoting Anonymous:

But do you think he will refuse? He should be taking the walk of shame, I'm sure this is not a huge surprise for him. Have you told him before this is what would happen if he started again?

Quoting Anonymous:

Yes he knows, but legally with the house in both names, I cannot make him. He can refuse.

Quoting Anonymous:

Just tell him to gtfo. He knows why.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 21, 2013 at 3:57 AM

I have never seen that show. I wish this were something I was making up.

Sadly it is the truth.

Quoting 1L2CMommy:

This is the third season of Breaking Bad. I just watched it on Netflix.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jan. 21, 2013 at 3:58 AM
Id be more upset about where the extra $$ is going. Does he take any of his meds?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 21, 2013 at 3:59 AM

Thanks. I will ask him to leave and if he dosen't then I will go tothe courthouse tomorrow and see if I can do this. I had no idea you could evict someone when they were on the mortgage too

Quoting nataliesmom2012:

Whoever gets there first gets it. Her ex's name was on the lease along with hers and they granted it to her. He moved out right away to avoid the risk of being arrested. She didn't give them any reason except that she wanted him out. It also only cost her $12

Quoting Anonymous:

I can get an eviction notice even tho he is on the mortgage too? 

Could he not just go get one on me as well, or is it the first one there gets the eviction?

Do I need a reason when I go to the courthouse?  

I could definitely do that in the morning as soon as I can get my sister to come get the kids

Quoting nataliesmom2012:

I actually have a friend who was trying to get her ex out and couldn't for the same reason. We talked to my next door neighbor who's a cop and deals with this kind of stuff all the time. You can go to the courthouse and get an eviction notice. If he refuses to leave after you give him the eviction notice, he can actually get arrested for trespassing.

Quoting Anonymous:

He is on the mortgage too. Legally it is as much his house as it is mine. The police will say it is a civil matter.

If I had some proof, I could maybe have him arrested, but the proof is on his phone.

If he was violent, I could get a protective order, but he isn't. 

Quoting nataliesmom2012:

Why can't you make him leave?






Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 21, 2013 at 4:02 AM

I don't know if they could look at his phone without a warrant or not. I also really don't want the kids to see him go to jail.  I do plan to tell the cops again. I told them last time and nothing was done. But if/when he gets arrested, I don't want the kids to see it. 

 

Quoting cjsix:

 Can you call an officer right now and give them his phone ...I don't know for sure but,seems like they may have ways to find what is erased if they need to.

Quoting Anonymous:

He is asleep on the couch right now. I have thought about getting his phone and if there is anything left on it taking a screenshot and sending it to myself.

I don't know what he will do if he catches me tho. We have 4 small kids and they went through so much the last time we split, that I don't want them to see a fight. It will be hard enough explaining to them that daddy is gone again and this time for good.


Quoting cjsix:

 Can you get his phone and check to see if he erased the info? Give it to the police whether he di or not,they may have a way to recover the info even if he has erased it...yes,they will arrest him and he will be ticked but,he will also be forced to get the help he needs. Hugs Momma!


 


nataliesmom2012
by Platinum Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 4:02 AM

That's how it is in VA. I'm not sure what state you're in so I don't know if you'll be able to do it there. Good luck mama!

Quoting Anonymous:

Thanks. I will ask him to leave and if he dosen't then I will go tothe courthouse tomorrow and see if I can do this. I had no idea you could evict someone when they were on the mortgage too

Quoting nataliesmom2012:

Whoever gets there first gets it. Her ex's name was on the lease along with hers and they granted it to her. He moved out right away to avoid the risk of being arrested. She didn't give them any reason except that she wanted him out. It also only cost her $12

Quoting Anonymous:

I can get an eviction notice even tho he is on the mortgage too? 

Could he not just go get one on me as well, or is it the first one there gets the eviction?

Do I need a reason when I go to the courthouse?  

I could definitely do that in the morning as soon as I can get my sister to come get the kids

Quoting nataliesmom2012:

I actually have a friend who was trying to get her ex out and couldn't for the same reason. We talked to my next door neighbor who's a cop and deals with this kind of stuff all the time. You can go to the courthouse and get an eviction notice. If he refuses to leave after you give him the eviction notice, he can actually get arrested for trespassing.

Quoting Anonymous:

He is on the mortgage too. Legally it is as much his house as it is mine. The police will say it is a civil matter.

If I had some proof, I could maybe have him arrested, but the proof is on his phone.

If he was violent, I could get a protective order, but he isn't. 

Quoting nataliesmom2012:

Why can't you make him leave?







Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 21, 2013 at 4:04 AM

I honestly don't know. He has a lock box with his meds in it that he carries everywhere. I assumed he took his meds, but now I have no idea. he has been in some pain recently but with the cold weather, he is always in more pain.

I think I will also call his doctor because it is in his pain management contract that they can do a drug test on him any time to make sure his meds are in his system and that illegal drugs aren't. If his meds aren't in his system, then they will drop him as a patient

Quoting Anonymous:

Id be more upset about where the extra $$ is going. Does he take any of his meds?


justme91755
by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 4:06 AM

 If I were you , as soon as he leaves for work I would call and get the locks changed on the house, pack his stuff and leave it outside or at hai relatives or friend.  If he is dealing drugs out of your house the court can take your house from you  There is no proof that drug money was not used to pay for it and it is the proceed  of illegal activity.  Your children could be taken into custody and you could be arrested for  accessory even if you weren't involved if youknew and condoned it by allowing him to be in the home.  You need to tell hm exactly that and that you are not willing to sacrifice your children and their saftey for his stupidity of dealing.  Good luck but get him out of your home.  Is he on any kind of probation or a contract with the counseling that they can help you confront him?

LoganTroyMom
by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 4:07 AM
1 mom liked this
stop paying bills (except your phone maybe). tell him since he has so much income its now his responsibility.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
SadeAyosmom
by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 4:07 AM

you mean hoarding it in cash?

Quoting Anonymous:

He is probably stacking the money that he's making... That's what most dealers do!


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