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Do you judge women who have abusive exs?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

i want to know the truth so go anon if you want, i had an abusive ex, i had his child, hes not around i left him as soon i could. i used to literally run away from him when he wasnt looking, but he always chased after me and physically brought me back, he made it so i was unable to be near a phone to call the police.

i do not like to tell people this and i get worried when people fnd out because i feel like they are judging me, do you judge women who have been in an abusive relationship?

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 21, 2013 at 10:57 AM
Replies (21-30):
by Anonymous 6 on Jan. 21, 2013 at 11:05 AM

Honestly, I do.  I think that they are weak.  I don't like feeling this way, but there it is. 

by Gold Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 11:06 AM

I try not to judge anyone, but I do have a very hard time understanding women that get pregnant by an abusive man, or stay with the guy longer than the first time he laid a finger on you in a violent way. I know that there are a million explanations, and phycological explanations, but I have a hard time. I wish them all the best, and hope they find the strength to stand up and leave though. I'm glad you got away. And I hope that you never get in another abusive relationship again! ((Hugs)) 

by Kelly on Jan. 21, 2013 at 11:06 AM

Abusive EX.... no. It's the ones that stay with the abuser that I wonder about. 

by Anonymous 7 on Jan. 21, 2013 at 11:06 AM
Unfortunately I do.
by Valerie on Jan. 21, 2013 at 11:07 AM

Nope, I have an abusive ex. In fact, I have three children with him. He didn't start off that way. I had the pleasure of watching him turn from a 19 year old "nice guy" into an out of control alcoholic over the course of several years. I stayed and tried to "work" things through with rehab and counseling. Finally, I realized that he didn't want to change and that I wasn't to blame. Those five years were a complete mindfuck for me. He was manipulative and had me so messed up. He still attacked me after I finally left him for good and he is now in prison for it.

Oh, and the abuse that originally only happened because he was drunk, started carrying over to when he was sober.

by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 11:07 AM
No, b/c I've been there. I understand the controlling, and the fear. I called the cops and was told, "you don't want to make him angrier." I left and he would break into my vehicle or home. He threatened to kill me. If I went back, he would hurt me, yes, but that was better than the unknown. It's easy to judge f/ the outside. You are a strong person for getting out.
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by Gold Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 11:08 AM


Just glad they got away, because it's tough.

by Anonymous 8 on Jan. 21, 2013 at 11:08 AM
For me it was such small subtle changes over a period of time so it took me a while to realize it. It's scary to be in that situation but I would hope women start paying closer attention to the changes.

Quoting Anonymous:

I don't judge them but I wonder how they stayed in that relationship when it started getting bad.

by Anonymous 9 on Jan. 21, 2013 at 11:08 AM
No, I don't judge. My mother was in an abusive relationship. With my father.

I didn't understand it. Hell, I still don't understand her thought process 100%. But I am proud of her for talking about it. I learned alot from it.

Sadly, she is in another abusive relationship. Not physical. Only verbal this time. Doesn't make it any better, it really bugs me she knows its wrong and still does it. However, I don't judge her. Because its her life and her choice.
by Gold Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 11:09 AM

Although, I do judge if they have a long list of abusive exes.

Like if you can tell that is the type of guy they go after. That's completely different. I would take notice of that, and I have seen it before. I do know some girls fall in to that routine and go after that type of guy but yes I do judge when they do that and have a child or children, because they aren't just making that choice for themselves but for their children as well.

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