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Lazy Parenting or Smart Parenting? Added edit.

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post



Question: Potty Training


Not actively potty training is lazy.

Letting a child decide for himself/herself when to potty train is smart parenting.

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Total Votes: 804

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This child is mine. 

This picture was taken two months before his third birthday. He is now 3 1/4 years old. 

He isn't potty trained. He still wears pull-ups constantly. He knows how to use a potty, and when he feels like it, he does, but that is a rare occurance.


My mother (who I really do love) says that I am being lazy by not forcing the issue with him. I say that you aren't supposed to force the issue with kids. 


 Edit: Just got back to this post. It really got a lot of responses. Thanks for the helpful advice.

Just want to address one thing. DH and I do talk to DS about potty training a lot. We applaud him when he uses the potty and encourage him to use the potty. He is just the kind of kid that it has to be his idea or he doesn't want to do it. If I take him to the bathroom he won't go, he has to initiate it.

I am planning on switching him to undies at home for now. That will be for a few hours in the evening and on the weekends. When he can show that he can go for a day at home, then I will ask his daycare provider to do undies too. We have tried undies in the past and he has had 3 accidents in a row without going to the potty. She has babies at the daycare too, so I don't want to put all of that on her.

Thanks again. I really did listen and will do undies at home from now on.



EDIT: Daddy was home with him today and put him in big boy undies for the whole day. He stayed dry and clean the whole darn day.


Let's hope this is the start of something amazing!

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 21, 2013 at 8:48 PM
Replies (21-30):
by Gold Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 8:57 PM

Quoting Anonymous:

I am all for waiting until your child is ready but if he knows how to go to the bathroom and you don't make him then yes I consider that lazy. I waited until each of my kids were between the ages of 30 and 36 months. They where potty trained within a week no problem I don't think potty traing should take 6 months.

i call bs, it took dd almost a whole year and every once in awhile we still have accidents.  i wont push potty training on my kids

by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 8:57 PM

It's up to the parent to enforce potty training. Allowing a child to decide when to potty train is like allowing your eighteen year old son or daughter to decide when to move out of your house and become a responsible adult-why bother when no one is pressing the issue, right?

by Platinum Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 8:57 PM
1 mom liked this

There is a difference between *forcing* and *guiding* them to use the potty. You can guide them without forcing it. I think at this age if you aren't at least trying to get him to use the potty then you are being lazy. JMO

by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 8:58 PM
1 mom liked this
Ds wasn't potty trained til about 3 1/2. Nothing we did helped. Not that we were not trying but it wasn't working. Finally one day he just decided he was ready to use the potty all the time.
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by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 8:58 PM

I don't think "pushing" is necessary, but if he/she shows signs they are ready and you don't actively try to potty train, that's obviously lazy. I didn't push my kids. They show signs of being ready and that's when it happens. Both were fully trained in a matter of days.

by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 8:58 PM

Is the day care provider not willing to help with potty training?? When I was potty training DD I let the day care teachers know and then I had my parents watch her for a week so she could get a lot of 1 on 1 time with learning how it all goes.

by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 8:59 PM
1 mom liked this

Absolutely right!  It's different for each child - i started potty training my first child when she turned 3 and she was petrified for some reason so we took a break for several months, she eventually started using the potty on her own at age 4 b/c i told her the store wouldn't sell me any more pull ups for her b/c she was too old lol and it worked - then my other daughter did it at age 2 and a half with only a couple accidents and that was it - it just depends on the child - i would begin encouraging it at about age 2 and a half but if it doesn't take and you or the kid get frustrated just take a break, i wouldn't force the issue b/c that will make things worse

Quoting BEXi:

I think it's fine since he's a young 3. I would encourage using the potty often, but I wouldnt force him.

by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 8:59 PM
1 mom liked this

I say, if it's your kids and you're willing to shell out the money to buy the diapers, you can do whatever the f#$% you want... I hate when other people judge my parenting decisions.

by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 8:59 PM

 I dont know. My oldest day time potty trained at 2 an had trouble potty training at night due to her small bladder . So she slept in pull ups till almost 5 but never worde them in the day time. Hers was medical thought. At 19 mnts my youngest potty trained an is now 2 years an a month old an doesnt wear them at day or night. But I also have 2 girls

by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 9:00 PM
1 mom liked this

We let our children decide for themselves. My DS was 2 1/2 & my DD was 3 1/2. No pressure...No tears.

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