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Lazy Parenting or Smart Parenting? Added edit.

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post



Question: Potty Training


Not actively potty training is lazy.

Letting a child decide for himself/herself when to potty train is smart parenting.

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Total Votes: 804

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This child is mine. 

This picture was taken two months before his third birthday. He is now 3 1/4 years old. 

He isn't potty trained. He still wears pull-ups constantly. He knows how to use a potty, and when he feels like it, he does, but that is a rare occurance.


My mother (who I really do love) says that I am being lazy by not forcing the issue with him. I say that you aren't supposed to force the issue with kids. 


 Edit: Just got back to this post. It really got a lot of responses. Thanks for the helpful advice.

Just want to address one thing. DH and I do talk to DS about potty training a lot. We applaud him when he uses the potty and encourage him to use the potty. He is just the kind of kid that it has to be his idea or he doesn't want to do it. If I take him to the bathroom he won't go, he has to initiate it.

I am planning on switching him to undies at home for now. That will be for a few hours in the evening and on the weekends. When he can show that he can go for a day at home, then I will ask his daycare provider to do undies too. We have tried undies in the past and he has had 3 accidents in a row without going to the potty. She has babies at the daycare too, so I don't want to put all of that on her.

Thanks again. I really did listen and will do undies at home from now on.



EDIT: Daddy was home with him today and put him in big boy undies for the whole day. He stayed dry and clean the whole darn day.


Let's hope this is the start of something amazing!

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 21, 2013 at 8:48 PM
Replies (11-20):
by Penny Lane on Jan. 21, 2013 at 8:55 PM

I don't know, I've never really thought of it like that.

We did pull ups with my daughter for about 3 weeks or so.. then just full-time "Big girl undies" with pull ups at night. After a week or so she was pretty much potty trained, with hardly any accidents.

Eventually everytime I had her go potty right before bed, she'd wake up with a dry pull up on, so instead of literally throwing money away on them anymore I just bought a bed liner and have her go potty before bed every night. She's probably had about 3-4 accidents since then and that was in August. It is nice having her potty trained, that's for sure.

by Ruby Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 8:55 PM

my kids were all trained by 2, it took a week max on all of them, if you dont mind changing it, then more power to ya, but if he is capable and you are not leading him, I say lazy

by Platinum Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 8:55 PM


by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 8:55 PM

I think you should be pushing it more. He will be starting school before you know it and he needs to be potty trained. 

If he wasn't interested or didn't quite "get it" then that's a different story but he gets it. It's your job to encourage him to use the bathroom more and by putting him in pull ups constantly, you are not doing so.

by Platinum Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 8:56 PM
2 moms liked this

He knows how to use a potty when he feels like it? that tells me he KNOWS how to do it, but doesn't want to deal with stopping what he is doing to go to the bathroom because he'd rather have mommy take care of it.  If he knows how, then, you should expect him to.  when I potty trained my kids, I spent a whole day in the bathroom, letting them play on the tile floor with me right beside them reading or playing and giving them lots of water.  I would make a big deal whenever they did it.  I think you should go all out for a day or two, stay right beside him, reward him and go nuts when he goes in the potty. If he does this consistently for a day or two, yeah, he can do it.  take the pull ups off and let him have underwear. Hopefully he won't like the feeling of getting his big boy pants wet.  

by Anonymous 5 on Jan. 21, 2013 at 8:56 PM

My son was very late to train and it wasn't my lack of trying to push him.  He just would not do it, he was scared of the potty or going in the potty or whatever.  He was speech delayed so that didn't help me understand him :(. But when he finally did go, he never looked back.  He went from pull ups to big boy undies in one day and no accidents after that, ever!  Maybe your little one will be the same way.  I say don't force it.  We had potty parties after every peepee or poopy in the potty for the first maybe 2 or 3 days.  What kid doesn't like a party in their honor.  Lol.

by Ruby Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 8:56 PM

I am saying smart but I have the same issue. My 4 year old refuses to use the potty. Playing is more important. And nothing I have tried works.

by Emerald Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 8:57 PM
I wouldn't call it lazy, but you also don't just let a child pick when to start. Try it slowly and work your way up.. I mean if you wait he could be in diapers or pulls ups for a long time!
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by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 8:57 PM

While I don't think you should FORCE it, I do think you should at least be somewhat active in getting him to go.  It's your job to teach him, otherwise he won't know what to do on his own.

"Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification"  Romans 14:19

by Anonymous 6 on Jan. 21, 2013 at 8:57 PM
1 mom liked this

Your kid is cute, but unless he is mentally disabled or other wise handicapped you are a lazy parent.  My son was trained 2 weeks after his 2nd birthday

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