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Lazy Parenting or Smart Parenting? Added edit.

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post



Question: Potty Training


Not actively potty training is lazy.

Letting a child decide for himself/herself when to potty train is smart parenting.

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Total Votes: 804

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This child is mine. 

This picture was taken two months before his third birthday. He is now 3 1/4 years old. 

He isn't potty trained. He still wears pull-ups constantly. He knows how to use a potty, and when he feels like it, he does, but that is a rare occurance.


My mother (who I really do love) says that I am being lazy by not forcing the issue with him. I say that you aren't supposed to force the issue with kids. 


 Edit: Just got back to this post. It really got a lot of responses. Thanks for the helpful advice.

Just want to address one thing. DH and I do talk to DS about potty training a lot. We applaud him when he uses the potty and encourage him to use the potty. He is just the kind of kid that it has to be his idea or he doesn't want to do it. If I take him to the bathroom he won't go, he has to initiate it.

I am planning on switching him to undies at home for now. That will be for a few hours in the evening and on the weekends. When he can show that he can go for a day at home, then I will ask his daycare provider to do undies too. We have tried undies in the past and he has had 3 accidents in a row without going to the potty. She has babies at the daycare too, so I don't want to put all of that on her.

Thanks again. I really did listen and will do undies at home from now on.



EDIT: Daddy was home with him today and put him in big boy undies for the whole day. He stayed dry and clean the whole darn day.


Let's hope this is the start of something amazing!

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 21, 2013 at 8:48 PM
Replies (41-50):
by Ruby Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 9:02 PM

Yes, special circumstances are different, but the OP has a child who can and does go potty. She is just too lazy to do the laundry for the two days it takes for him to go full time.

Quoting Anonymous:

Making him doesnt always work. Ds has encropesis. He 'holds' his bowels to the point of constipating himself. Then he has an accident. When a child doesnt want to use the potty nothing on earth wll make them. I know that now....

Quoting faire_jour:

If he knows how to do it, MAKE HIM. Pull ups are bad. 

I would be ashamed if my child was 3 and not potty trained.

by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 9:03 PM
1 mom liked this
Get rid of the pull ups. They are a crutch.

Quoting smalltownmom03:

Why would he choose to use the toilet when you allow him to wear diapers?
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by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 21, 2013 at 9:03 PM
You can call whatever you like but I have five kids and I waited until each was ready which was at different ages and it took one week to potty train. With my youngest we chose the first week of school for the big kids. I talked about how she was a big kid and we went and picked out panties the week before. We also read books and watched a potty video over and over. That Monday she woke up and I put her in panties and in one week she was accident free. That was in august and she turned 3 in Nov.

Quoting superwoman8977:

Quoting Anonymous:

I am all for waiting until your child is ready but if he knows how to go to the bathroom and you don't make him then yes I consider that lazy. I waited until each of my kids were between the ages of 30 and 36 months. They where potty trained within a week no problem I don't think potty traing should take 6 months.

i call bs, it took dd almost a whole year and every once in awhile we still have accidents.  i wont push potty training on my kids

by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 9:04 PM

 maybe he needs more positive reinforcement, on those rare occassions when he uses the bathroom make a big deal, kids can be stubborn about using the potty doesnt mean you're lazy.

by Bronze Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 9:05 PM

I encourage it frequently and let him know it upsets me that he pees or poops in his pull up. My son is 3 will be 4 in July. I know kids are ready when they're ready, but I do encourage it all day!

by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 9:05 PM
1 mom liked this
My son just turned 3 and still isn't potty trained. He'll use the potty occasionally, but letting him run around in underwear only results in a huge mess all day long. He'll learn when he's ready
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by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 9:06 PM

I don't know.  My girls were both potty trained before they turned 2. The youngest just up and decided at 19 months old that she was going to wear underwear, and we never looked back.  The older one took a couple of days before she got it down completely, but she didn't want to wear a diaper anymore so she figured it out.

by Anonymous 8 on Jan. 21, 2013 at 9:06 PM


Quoting -_-:

At this point it's lazy.

this ... take him to the potty at least once an hr


by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 9:06 PM
I am pro waiting but I think that at that age if he knows how then he should. But I never went through it my son is only 17 months yet so idk.
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by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 9:06 PM
1 mom liked this

Well you should probably get the ball moving. Sitting back and waiting for a 3 year old to take the lead will get you no where.

Quoting Anonymous:

He goes to an in-home daycare. She has asked him before if he wants to use the potty at her house, and he doesn't. She said once we get the ball moving at home she will support whatever we ask her to do at daycare. I haven't asked her to do much, because we haven't had much success at home.

Quoting addiecakesmommy:

Is the day care provider not willing to help with potty training?? When I was potty training DD I let the day care teachers know and then I had my parents watch her for a week so she could get a lot of 1 on 1 time with learning how it all goes.

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