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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

It was high school, but at 28 it did matter

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 51 Replies
My son has seemed ''not happy'' with school so I asked him what's wrong and he said he didn't like the way he dressed bc he didn't fit in. When I asked why not he said I like to wear aeropostal, and Hollister but you don't buy me that, and that's what the kids wear. I asked him does he think clothes and shoes define him, and he replied no, but it makes for a stressful experience bc I feel like I don't fit in. So after a long discussion about ppl liking you for who you are and what real friends are we decided that those are the clothes I will purchase for him from now on. My husband doesn't understand that he says i'm teaching him fitting in means changing who he is to please others. But I told him I remember hs and it does matter, I didn't fit in and it was bc my parents thought the same way. But truth is it does matter and it does make for an uncomfortable experience bc you don't seem to fit in with your peers. Appearance is a big part of school and not only that it helps kids to understand that they should take pride in there appearance we are responsible for our children and we also play a big role in how they experience school. So I choose to buy him the clothes he prefers to help him feel more comfortable. Its just middle school but it does matter yrs later that my patents didn't take the time to already try. It would have made for better days at school.
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 22, 2013 at 9:15 AM
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 29, 2013 at 12:42 AM
BUMP
veronicamw
by Silver Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 12:46 AM

I was raised by a single father I got dressed like a boy nothing girly I never fit in in middle school it was sad

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 29, 2013 at 12:49 AM
1 mom liked this
I agree that it does matter. It's not everything, but dressing well and feeling good about how you dress makes everyone feel more confident. I know I feel better when I have on clothes that make me feel like I look good! And its been decades since I was in Jr high!

I say buy him the clothes he wants, within reason. Don't break the bank to do it, but those places aren't too too bad. My husband has said for years boys look ridiculous in "skinny jeans" and refused to let our son get them. Guess what I just bought my 15 year old last week? Even Dh agreed it was time to let him choose his own style, even if we don't love it. He is still required to NEVER show his underwear in public ;-).
FL2AK
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 12:49 AM
2 moms liked this

I buy my kids what is in style as long as it is age appropriate and nice looking.  Teen years are hard enough.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 29, 2013 at 12:52 AM
Lol, my son hates skinny Jeans, he's only 12 but he said girls wear skinny Jeans to show off their figure, why do guys?... I still don't have an answer lol... But Yes we have done some online shopping and got some great deals he is very happy and so am i.


Quoting Anonymous:

I agree that it does matter. It's not everything, but dressing well and feeling good about how you dress makes everyone feel more confident. I know I feel better when I have on clothes that make me feel like I look good! And its been decades since I was in Jr high!



I say buy him the clothes he wants, within reason. Don't break the bank to do it, but those places aren't too too bad. My husband has said for years boys look ridiculous in "skinny jeans" and refused to let our son get them. Guess what I just bought my 15 year old last week? Even Dh agreed it was time to let him choose his own style, even if we don't love it. He is still required to NEVER show his underwear in public ;-).

1boy1girlmama
by Silver Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 12:54 AM

I agree. I always had great clothes and never felt self conscious because my mom understood, plus I was an only child so it wasn't a huge stress on my parents to buy me what I wanted.

My BFF on the other hand was raised by a single mom and had 4 sisters and were very poor. She has 2 of her own now, and we are in our 30's. Hers are teens and she has always made sure that her kids have name brand stuff even if she has to sacrifice things for herself for them to have it. She is also a single mom. She remembers how hard it was to be the kid who always had the crappy walmart shoes and thrift store clothes. She hated it and vowed her kids would never feel 'out of it' like she did. So far, she has kept good on her word.  

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 29, 2013 at 12:56 AM

I don't know what I did differently, but my teenage sons couldn't care less about what they wear to school. I have to monitor their clothing or they will literally wear stuff with holes (not the fashionable ones). They either don't care or they have absolutely no fashion sense. LOL They wear clothes from Goodwill all the time (and you can find brand names there). My son's girlfriends have made him throw away graphic tees, or have told him that sweater makes him look like a geek. He has his own style and refuses to change. He got rid of the girlfriend. LOL They were not kids lost in the crowd, either--but not jocks. <shrug> change schools?


wkukid
by Ocean Wave on Jan. 29, 2013 at 12:57 AM

My kids will always be dressed in style if they choose to because of my childhood. We couldn't afford the Abercrombie and hollister type stuff and I was always teased, it causes issues in children. It's my way of making sure my kids have better than me.

MissMissfit
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 12:58 AM
3 moms liked this

Whether they are trying to fit in, or stand unique on their own, they are simply trying to find themselves. It isn't right to deny them that, simply because we don't understand a fad, or as an adult, feel social acceptance shouldn't be the key to happiness. 

I commend you for recognizing the importance to him. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 29, 2013 at 12:59 AM

It does matter

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