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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Is my Mom going too far with my daughter??

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I feel like my mother treats Dd as if we're in a custody agreement with her, which we're not. 

Dd is 2 years old. Let me first state that my mother USUALLY  asks me before she buys things for her. But the issues between my mother and I run deep and they are something i'm going to therapy for. I mean deeeeeep deep issues that I believe start before I was even born.

Ever since Dd was born my mother treats me as if she and I are sharing custody of dd and thats not the case. It once got to a point where I didn't want to see or talk to her for a little over a month and consequently she didn't see dd because of it She has to realize that things are at MY discretion, not hers. After that month she got better but over time she's showing signs of regressing back to that point again.

I feel like she's at THE point in her life where she wanted to be when she was actually raising children. She has a nice house now, the man she wants to be with, the income, etc etc. When she was raising myself and my brother she was with my dad (who did drugs and cheated, he wasn't a bad person though, he just made bad choices, I want to make that PERFECTLY clear), they moved from place to place to place, and they never had any money. To me it seems that she see's Dd as her second chance at parenthood and is trying to exclude me from that. She's doing things with Dd that I feel is MY right to do with her, you know, firsts.

Her latest instance is that she bought Dd a tricycle. This broke my heart because it's something I wanted to do first for Dd and I felt she was too young for it. I planned on getting a tricycle for her third birthday. So I told my mother that I appreciate it but I wanted to teach dd to ride it and asked to take it home. She kind of avoided my request and the tricycle is still at her house.

When I went to get Dd from her house the other night she had dd sit in her tricycle and my mother has been teaching her to ride it when I'm not there! Again, my heart broke because this is something I really really want to be the one to do. Dh agree's with me. 

I'm thinking of insisting on taking the tricycle home with me (so I can continue her education in riding it) and if she refuses then not allowing dd over there until she gives it to me. Am I being ridiculous??

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 22, 2013 at 12:34 PM
Replies (41-50):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 22, 2013 at 1:13 PM
1 mom liked this

She definitely has OCD and anxiety issues. It's most of the reason for her emotional neglect. The other reason is the crazy "psychic" woman she went to when I was six years old. The pyschic told her that I basically forced myself to be born to her so that I could bump my strength of will against her and grow my strength of will by doing that. Of course what my MOTHER heard was that I was born to her to use her and ever since she's had this irrational fear that that's what I'm doing whenever I request anything from her so she's spent my entire life making sure I never "take advantage" of her.

Quoting anotherhalf:

I read your responses to others and your mom sounds possibly mentally ill or just plain screwed up (no disrespect meant).  I wouldn't demand the tricycle, but I wouldn't be comfortable leaving my child alone with her EVER.  She doesn't sound trustworthy and if she stifled a relationship between you and your brother, and if she is acting toward your dd as she acted toward your brother, I see her trying to build a wedge between you and your daughter.  I just wouldn't trust what type of manipulations she might be doing while I wasn't around.



KRISTAL_WILDER
by Silver Member on Jan. 22, 2013 at 1:14 PM

Do you have a better example than the tricycle? Thats a little silly to be upset over.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 22, 2013 at 1:20 PM

More examples are in the replies.

Quoting KRISTAL_WILDER:

Do you have a better example than the tricycle? Thats a little silly to be upset over.



Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 22, 2013 at 1:20 PM
I agree. But your own damn tricycle for your house.

Quoting Anonymous:

if you didnt buy the tricycle then what gives you the right to insist on taking it home? I understand why you are upset but shes a grandparent..sometimes you have to learn to SHARE the special moments...let someone else have one once in awhile.

scarletmeshell
by Platinum Member on Jan. 22, 2013 at 1:21 PM

If your mother is so crazy then why is your dd at her house?

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 22, 2013 at 1:21 PM

MY child = MY special moments. She was aware beforehand that a tricycle was something I wanted to do with dd.

Quoting Anonymous:

I agree. But your own damn tricycle for your house.

Quoting Anonymous:

if you didnt buy the tricycle then what gives you the right to insist on taking it home? I understand why you are upset but shes a grandparent..sometimes you have to learn to SHARE the special moments...let someone else have one once in awhile.



mommy_me
by ~The Three B's~ on Jan. 22, 2013 at 1:22 PM

 Over a bike? Yes. Let it go. There are plenty of other things you can do with your child. Pick and chose your battles

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 22, 2013 at 1:23 PM
1 mom liked this

Believe it or not she only acts that way towards ME. Thats what hurts the most actually because I'm aware that she's singling me out. She's actually a GOOD grandmother and a GOOD person to everyone but ME. 

Quoting scarletmeshell:

If your mother is so crazy then why is your dd at her house?



428pm
by on Jan. 22, 2013 at 1:23 PM

Sounds like she's been overstepping a lot and this is the one incident you've focused on.  I know how that feels.  My ex mil was bad for overstepping.  As my son got older it got worse and worse.

I would have a sit down with your mom and tell her, I appreciate where your coming from but you are stealing my mommy moments.

MakenzisMom0511
by Member on Jan. 22, 2013 at 1:24 PM

 I definatly seewhere you are comming from on this. I am one that wants to do certain things with my daughters for their first time and I will not have anyone stand in the way of me being the one to do these certain things! including my mother if she ever tried to. So i see where you are comming from and I agree 100%!

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