Venting about myself.

[Anonymous]

I am finding it difficult to not dwell on the past and forgive myself over pretty minor stuff lately. For instance, last week I had mixed medicine in juice for my DD (5). The meds have to be mixed into 8oz of liquid and my DD has a hard time finishing it sometimes. She was at the last few sips and was starting to give up so I held the cup to her mouth and tilted it back to encourage her to drink. I hadn't realized she wasn't drinking and it spilled all down her shirt, her pants, and the chair. It made me feel like an ass that I obviously wasn't paying enough attention and spilled. I try my best to never embarrass her or leave any emotional scars (I know how it feels). I don't think she cared about what had happened as much as I did but I can help but feel an overwhelming aversion to hurting that little heart in any way.

Is this normal? Do any of you beat yourself up over small things like a spill?

I know the past is the past and I can't change it. I try my best to learn from my mistakes so I don't repeat them. I just can't leave guilt behind... :/

[aprilmcgraw]

Chances are it a bigger deal to you then your kids.At least you care about their feelings unlike alot of moms.

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

My children are my life, without them I am a shell of a person.

Quoting aprilmcgraw:

Chances are it a bigger deal to you then your kids.At least you care about their feelings unlike alot of moms.

[aprilmcgraw]

I agree but I have seen people who dont give a crap about there kids.They are a cs check or a way to get pa.Im not saying all but some.

Quoting Anonymous:

My children are my life, without them I am a shell of a person.

Quoting aprilmcgraw:

Chances are it a bigger deal to you then your kids.At least you care about their feelings unlike alot of moms.

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

It makes me so sad, but I know you're right. I was raised around a bunch of low life's who didn't give a crap about kids and saw them as rag dolls they could throw around. I can remember as young as 5 crying and wishing I could save all children and animals. That soft spot may play a role in my self loathing.

Quoting aprilmcgraw:

I agree but I have seen people who dont give a crap about there kids.They are a cs check or a way to get pa.Im not saying all but some.

Quoting Anonymous:

My children are my life, without them I am a shell of a person.

Quoting aprilmcgraw:

Chances are it a bigger deal to you then your kids.At least you care about their feelings unlike alot of moms.

[aprilmcgraw]

If you dwell on the small stuff too much you may want to talk to dr. about it.not like meds but a therapist.maybe they could reassure you that you are a good person and a good mom.