As women to stop having babies with just any ol body?
Please understand this isn't for everyone I know many are married or have been with their SO for many years and have children with then. But you all know what I'm talking about. WOMEN WHO JUST DON'T GET IT.
Sure we are all entitled to a mistake or two its life it happens. I don't consider children mistakes by any means but I do know for a fact had I known about dds Bio dad then what I know now its safe to say I wouldn't have had a child with him so soon. Lesson learned.....promise.
I'm not saying you have to be married to a man or have known him since you were kids to make a sound judgement to have babies with him hell I know people who have been married to men for 10+ years and still regret having kids with him.
What I'm talking about is young women just so ready to lay down with the first Guy they see and they're just so in love after meeting some random stranger at a bar that they decide to get pregnant by him right away! Then to make things worse when he leaves you and you're stuck being a single mother you expect everyone to feel sorry for you and you truly act as if you really didn't see that coming.
Again mistakes happen I know......but know the one you're with. And if you happen to make a mistake please learn from it and don't do it again!!!!
I honestly feel sorry for all the young women and old if I knew any that find themselves in this situation repeatedly. No judgements just wishing they could get it through their heads that it really doesn't have to be this hard. All that unnecessary heartache and struggling I feel can be avoided.
Sorry for the vent just hurts me to see it so often....
Please understand this isn't for everyone I know many are married or have been with their SO for many years and have children with then. But you all know what I'm talking about. WOMEN WHO JUST DON'T GET IT.
Sure we are all entitled to a mistake or two its life it happens. I don't consider children mistakes by any means but I do know for a fact had I known about dds Bio dad then what I know now its safe to say I wouldn't have had a child with him so soon. Lesson learned.....promise.
I'm not saying you have to be married to a man or have known him since you were kids to make a sound judgement to have babies with him hell I know people who have been married to men for 10+ years and still regret having kids with him.
What I'm talking about is young women just so ready to lay down with the first Guy they see and they're just so in love after meeting some random stranger at a bar that they decide to get pregnant by him right away! Then to make things worse when he leaves you and you're stuck being a single mother you expect everyone to feel sorry for you and you truly act as if you really didn't see that coming.
Again mistakes happen I know......but know the one you're with. And if you happen to make a mistake please learn from it and don't do it again!!!!
I honestly feel sorry for all the young women and old if I knew any that find themselves in this situation repeatedly. No judgements just wishing they could get it through their heads that it really doesn't have to be this hard. All that unnecessary heartache and struggling I feel can be avoided.
Sorry for the vent just hurts me to see it so often....
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on Jan. 22, 2013 at 10:08 PM
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by Anonymous
on Jan. 22, 2013 at 10:18 PM
I made this "mistake" with my first child. I don't regret him for a single second but I regret my poor decision and the fact that his bio father hasn't had anything to do with him in 7 years. That's nit my fault but it IS my fault I didn't insist on backup BC or that I didn't see him for the irresponsible loser he is. I vowed never to make the mistake again and fortunately I have since married a wonderful man who adopted my son as well as fathered my other kids. So I agree. We learned the hard way. And as much as my son loves my husband, his dad..um sure someday he will wonder why bio dad didn't want him. I'd give anything to not have him hurt.
by
Bronze Member
on Jan. 22, 2013 at 10:18 PM
Exactly. Like I know people change and I understand that completely. But girl if he has 3 kids he doesn't take care of already.....what makes you think when you let him get you pregnant hes going to care for yours???
Quoting wineisfine:Totally agree, women are so busy pointing the fingers at the dead beat dads but they are the ones who had the baby with a complete loser.
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by
Bronze Member
on Jan. 22, 2013 at 10:21 PM
My story is pretty much the same. I knew immediately when he left after a year I shouldn't have avoided all those red flags! Its unfortunate that me and DD had to go through all we did to learn such a lesson but there's a ton of value in it that's for sure. Like you I am blessed enough to have found someone to accept her as his own and will be adopting her shortly after we get married next month. Not everyone is so lucky though especially when they make one "mistake" after the other.....so not worth it.
Quoting Anonymous:
I made this "mistake" with my first child. I don't regret him for a single second but I regret my poor decision and the fact that his bio father hasn't had anything to do with him in 7 years. That's nit my fault but it IS my fault I didn't insist on backup BC or that I didn't see him for the irresponsible loser he is. I vowed never to make the mistake again and fortunately I have since married a wonderful man who adopted my son as well as fathered my other kids. So I agree. We learned the hard way. And as much as my son loves my husband, his dad..um sure someday he will wonder why bio dad didn't want him. I'd give anything to not have him hurt.
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by
on Jan. 22, 2013 at 10:25 PM
LOL we have the ESPN thing going on, no but seriously the best predictor of future behavior is past. Then you have these women that think they can change men, or somehow he will be better for them. It is sad and pathetic at the same time, women need to get some self worth and some damn accountability. Stop blaming the men, and start blaming yourself!
Quoting your_angel:
Exactly. Like I know people change and I understand that completely. But girl if he has 3 kids he doesn't take care of already.....what makes you think when you let him get you pregnant hes going to care for yours???
Quoting wineisfine:
Totally agree, women are so busy pointing the fingers at the dead beat dads but they are the ones who had the baby with a complete loser.
by
Bronze Member
on Jan. 22, 2013 at 10:31 PM
Ha! Maybe we can be CM announcers we clearly have that down lol.
Changing a man lol I tried that once. You know that fool dogged the mess outta me and as soon as he left he got with a girl and did things for her he would have NEVER done for me. Lmao imagine my heartbreak. as long as I live ill never let someone make me feel that way ever again! And I know exactly what to look out for this time around
Changing a man lol I tried that once. You know that fool dogged the mess outta me and as soon as he left he got with a girl and did things for her he would have NEVER done for me. Lmao imagine my heartbreak. as long as I live ill never let someone make me feel that way ever again! And I know exactly what to look out for this time around
Quoting wineisfine:LOL we have the ESPN thing going on, no but seriously the best predictor of future behavior is past. Then you have these women that think they can change men, or somehow he will be better for them. It is sad and pathetic at the same time, women need to get some self worth and some damn accountability. Stop blaming the men, and start blaming yourself!
Quoting your_angel:
Exactly. Like I know people change and I understand that completely. But girl if he has 3 kids he doesn't take care of already.....what makes you think when you let him get you pregnant hes going to care for yours???
Quoting wineisfine:
Totally agree, women are so busy pointing the fingers at the dead beat dads but they are the ones who had the baby with a complete loser.
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by
on Jan. 22, 2013 at 10:40 PM
I was stupid. Twice. Thankfully it all turned out well and I now have 2 wonderful kids as a result. I agree with you though and I wish I would have gone about things in a better way.
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At what age should I tell my son dh is not his bio dad?
I think you're awesome if....
- your_angel
on Jan. 22, 2013 at 10:08 PM