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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Shes mad at me for choosing to use the same name as the Baby she miscarried,,,but I don't think I'm in the wrong

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
I'm 32 weeks pregnant.
We finally settled on a name.
Evelyn Nicole.
My best friend flipped when i told her the name.

Her: you can NOT use Evelyn.

Me:...what do you mean? That's the name we chose. Of course we can use it. We're naming her after my grandma.

She Started crying and screaming then called me a bitch and stormed off

I called John, her husband to find Out what the hell was going on.

He said that when she had found Out she was pregnant they already had names picked and they chose Evelyn for a girl.

She miscarried at 15 weeks
That was A year and a Half ago.

But she never told me they had already picked names.

My first baby was still born

I understand why she's upset; but I didn't know.

I tried to talk to her and she yelled at me and called me a selfish inconsiderate bitch.

I understand shes hurting but I don't think I did anything wrong or deserve to be treated like this.

I wasn't aware they had picked names. If I had known we wouldn't have gone anywhere near that boundary. But I didn't know, so what was I suppose to do, take every name we liked and run it by her to make sure it was ok?


I know she's hurt, I've been there.
But I don't know what to do now.
I love the name. But I don't want to hurt her even more since now I do know that it's the same name :(
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 22, 2013 at 10:58 PM
Replies (21-30):
MomOf2LilGirls
by Bronze Member on Jan. 22, 2013 at 11:10 PM

Wow..  I would have been shocked at her outrage as well.  If you aren't wanting to destroy a friendship and are willing to change the name .. Then that's what I would do.  

But if honestly you are set in the name since it is a family name I wouldn't blame you for sticking to your guns about the name.  You didn't know she had intended on using the name and after all it is your child and you can name her what ever you please.

ginger813
by on Jan. 22, 2013 at 11:10 PM
1 mom liked this

I really don't think you did anything wrong, considering that you didn't know. If she's a really close friend though, I would probably rethink the name. However, she owes you an apology for treating you like that!

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 22, 2013 at 11:10 PM
We've been best friends since the first grade....


Quoting brettsmomma:

 Honestly it would depend on how close I was to her. I have had a friend for over 20 years if something like this hurt her so bad I would rethink the name. However if she is just a common acquaintance and you didn't know the name ahead of time who cares.


kfroz0415
by Gold Member on Jan. 22, 2013 at 11:11 PM
1 mom liked this
If you didn't know she had chosen that name, I find no fault on your behalf.

Now in my situation my cousin knew the name I had picked before miscarrying the second time, and she used that name for her son who she got pregnant with shortly before I miscarried. I have not and will not ever forgive her for that, it wasnt an accident because she "chose" the name right after I told her what we had decided upon.

Honestly if I were you I would sit down and think about how long you have been friends and how close the two of you are vs how much that particular name means to you. It may have been 1.5yrs ago, but it a pain that never fully leaves and having your dd named that may keep reopening that wound for her.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 22, 2013 at 11:11 PM

 You can't be selfish and inconsiderate if you didn't know about it. Maybe try explaining that you are naming her after your grandmother. Idk, I understand it's upsetting for her but *I* still don't think it's a reason to flip out like that.

brettsmomma
by ~Tammie~ on Jan. 22, 2013 at 11:12 PM

 I personally would change it then. :'(

Quoting Anonymous:

We've been best friends since the first grade....


Quoting brettsmomma:

 Honestly it would depend on how close I was to her. I have had a friend for over 20 years if something like this hurt her so bad I would rethink the name. However if she is just a common acquaintance and you didn't know the name ahead of time who cares.


 

Photo: -Randi.Photo

nelliesmommy
by NoTtOdaY:) on Jan. 22, 2013 at 11:13 PM
1 mom liked this

You didn't know. She should apologize.

andiecheyenne
by Bronze Member on Jan. 22, 2013 at 11:13 PM

I don't believe you are in the wrong. You did not know that she picked names.. That's kinda on her for not telling you a year and a half ago. Name baby girl Evelyn... it's a very pretty name.

littlesippycup
by Ruby Member on Jan. 22, 2013 at 11:13 PM

I guess it just depends on what kind of person you are and what kind of friend she is. 

aponder
by Bronze Member on Jan. 22, 2013 at 11:13 PM

I don't think you are wrong, but my bff lost a little girl at 22wks  and she can't even watch Sesame street, because they were going to call it Abigayle.  Your BFF is acting out of hurt.  If you have to have that name you have every right to use it, but if she really is your BFF is it worth losing the friendship over? 

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