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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

What do you think? MIL and DH situation

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 12 Replies

 

Poll

Question: Should my mom just write off the loss and be happy she has a place to go or should we/ my husband just be super nice again. Feel bad for his mistake and give her the $20 and buy a coffeepot? VOTE!

Options:

Should my mom just write off the loss and be happy she has a place to go?

Should we/ my husband just be super nice again. Feel bad for his mistake and give her the $20 and buy a coffeepot?


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 31

View Results

This is long because some people need lots of details to make a full judgment or jump to conclusions without them. I'm trying to avoid that.

So, my mom has had 5 jobs in the past year and a half. More than she's had since I was born up until the year and a half ago. Her life has been one thing after another since then. So, she's moved in with us of course. The job she had currently was barely enough to cover her gas and pay her car bill and buy a few groceries. So she is still on a VERY tight budget.

We BOTH love coffee. I have a Keurig, but I like having a regular pot still and she can't use the Keurig because she's nervous about it. Well the old pot broke right before Christmas. She had bought my husband a gift for Christmas, but I told her he had just bought one himself. I felt really bad because it was $20 and that is a lot for her now. She couldn't return it for cash and they gave her a gift card. So she said with the gift card she would buy a new coffee pot.

She was staying with my aunt for the weekend and said for me to set it up, but keep the box and the receipt just in case. I put the box and receipt together and put it by the sink and said to my husband, "Put this in the garage later. Don't throw it away, we need it." He says, "Ok". I opened it and put it on the counter and then we tried to use it and it sucked. It all fell apart. It was the only one left at the store though because it was after Christmas.

Now we need the box and can't find it. He threw it away. WHAT!? He never throws anything away! EVER! There could be a rotting carcass on the floor and he would walk over it. Then, I found out today, my mom lost THIS job she had TODAY. We're at square one and she is unemployed again. He like doesn't seem to care and doesn't seem to want to do anything about it. I want to give her $20 and buy another coffee pot. I feel so awful. She's been living here rent free for 18 months. She's given us maybe $350 total throughout that time when she can.


Should my mom just write off the loss and be happy she has a place to go or should we/ my husband just be super nice again. Feel bad for his mistake and give her the $20 and buy a coffeepot? VOTE!

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 23, 2013 at 12:15 AM
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Replies (1-10):
LizzieAnnesMom
by ☆Mrs.Winchester☆ on Jan. 23, 2013 at 12:19 AM
2 moms liked this

Just buy a new coffee pot.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 23, 2013 at 12:20 AM
1 mom liked this

sounds like your mom is struggling and was trying to do some thing thoughtful with what little she has. we all fall on hard times. it's only $20...buy a new coffee pot.

Katenemsmom
by on Jan. 23, 2013 at 12:22 AM
Just use the crappy one. I'm currently using a $10 coffee maker. Sure it sucks, but at least it doesn't leak like the $100 one did.
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pinkyheather
by on Jan. 23, 2013 at 12:38 AM

I gotta say, I think since she's having it so rough i'd at least buy her a coffee pot, although maybe not give her the $20 unless she asks for that back too.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 23, 2013 at 1:21 AM

BUMP! Thanks and keep the votes coming. :)

oboe_chik
by on Jan. 23, 2013 at 1:26 AM
why is she all of a sudden going through jobs so fast? There seems to be a root problem that needs to be fixed. Is she depresed? Had major life changes? id buy a new coffee pot.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 23, 2013 at 2:07 AM

LONG story that goes back a few years. In 2004 she quit the job she'd had since I was 10. She got married to a guy she didn't know long enough. He was secretly an alcoholic and that made him abusive. She left him in 2007, moved in with us.

Had a short 3 month job with a water well company, she quit because of issues. Got a job with another attorney. She has control and anger issues. I know the boss and other employees were douchy at times, but insead of letting them know, she would give them attitude back. Finally that boss fired her in a dramatic way after 2 years. In a way, she had it coming, but the boss didn't have to be SO harsh about it all. It was personal. Another attorney, she was more nuts, so my mom quit after 3 weeks. Another attorney, my mom again started giving attitude. Like she's part right, but doens't go about it right. She's fired there mostly because they couldn't afford her, but they might have kept her if she'd been nicer and let someone else go. That was 3 months-ish. A medical supply company, after 2 weeks, my aunt got very sick and we knew she was going to die, so she quit to take care of her. Then she got back with the medical supply comany in a different branch and she's been there since August until today. The issue today was they wanted her to do a different position that someone else left. She couldn't do it because she didn't want to be driving all over Houston. So they fired her for that. They "eliminated" the position she had.


Since she left her husband in 07, my grandma, another aunt's husband, my aunt and now an uncle all have died. It's been SUPER hard on everyone. Her health is getting worse. She has anger and control issues. I think she is depressed. On top of all this, she doesn't believe in depression. Well, she says, some people can get it, but not her. She says she'll take any job, but she really won't. She's not in a place to be picky. I think this is her path until she learns some lessons. I can't say SQUAT to her ever because she'll freak out on me if my husband is not here. She is stubborn and won't hear anything slightly negative, even if I spin it super positively. So yes, she has TONS of issues. They've always been there I think, but they're getting worse. I think she has to be broken and completely humbled before things get better. Which sucks for us, because we're along for her ride. I can't kick her out, she's my mom. I just feel like, this is a time I should be enjoying my youth and young family alone, but I can't always do that. I only get one life. I don't get to do it again. When my kids grow up, that's it. Even working, it seems like it will still be six months before she gets a place of her own! ;\


KUDOS to you or anyone actually read that! :)

Quoting oboe_chik:

why is she all of a sudden going through jobs so fast? There seems to be a root problem that needs to be fixed. Is she depresed? Had major life changes? id buy a new coffee pot.


bi-polarmommy
by on Jan. 23, 2013 at 2:13 AM
Buy a new coffee pot and make an apt for your mom with a phyc dr, and go with her to explain some of your concerns
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 23, 2013 at 2:18 AM
Buy her the new coffee pot but get her a good one.

Why is she so intimidated by the Keurig?
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 25, 2013 at 11:00 AM

She wouldn't ever. First, she's not insured, but even if she was. She would flip out on me if I told her.

Quoting bi-polarmommy:

Buy a new coffee pot and make an apt for your mom with a phyc dr, and go with her to explain some of your concerns


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