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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

how you know you REALLY love someone

Posted by on Jan. 23, 2013 at 9:17 PM
  • 32 Replies
2 moms liked this

so, last night my husband and i are laying in bed and watching some tv. He proceeds to rip a fart. this is nothing new in our home. However, tuesday is taco night and the rankness of this fart is like a living thing creeping it's way up my nose. 

i am hiding under the blankets at this point. First he says, "it does not smell!" and then he wafts his blankets and lets out a loud, "wooo!" and starts laughing his ass off and trying to pull my blankets off of me yelling, "bask in the ambiance, honey! bask in it!" 

The smell finally dissipates and i can breath without filtering it through my comforter. we continue watching our tv show, when he rips another one. Again, i am trying to find some sort of relief from the smell of his rotting intestines. that is my only explanation for how putrid his gas is. He starts tickling me so i have no choice but to release my blankets in an attempt to stop him tickling me as i kick at his stomach trying to get away from his grasp. 

again, the air becomes breathable again. Next comes a definite SBD. I start yelling"for the love of god! you are burning off my nose hairs! go in another room!" and he continues to laugh and says, "fine, i will go to the bathroom." so i sneak my nose out and it is STILL reeks, so i start yelling at him, "this would make small children cry!" and i can hear him just dying with laughter inside the bathroom. 

So, my mind starts churning. I have been polite enough to hold my farts in. as soon as he gets back in bed and gets comfortable, i roll on my side and let loose. Being a little too eager about this, i release what is the equivalent of a high pitched trumpet! 

He starts yelling, "oh my god! at least i dont POINT my butt in your direction!" 
"No, you just waft the blankets at me!" 
"that's different! when i do it, it's funny!" 
So i am doubled over laughing and he is laughing and play pushing me away from him to stay out of the line of fire. 
i say, "we have the weirdest relationship. Thank god we arent on big brother or something like that!" 

Our laughter subsides and he says, "I really am sorry." 
"no your not! you think it hilarious!" 
"well, yeah i think it's hilarious, but i DO feel bad that you have to suffer through it." 
"No you dont. you love it!" 
"well, you know what they say. Farts are like kids, you always love your own!" 

" just you wait. I am gonna snuggle my butt up to you and let it fly!" 

"then im gonna fart in your mouth!" 
"i will pee on you in your sleep!" 
"if you did, i would throw you out in the snow in your underwear!" 
"We dont have any snow!" 
"Yeah, but it is fucking cold out! I would lock the doors. then what would you do? you would have to go knock on the neighbors door and explain you are in the cold in your underwear because you peed on your husband while he slept and they will have to call a cop for you to open the door." 
"I would just walk right over to the police station. it's right across the street." 
"in your underwear?" 
"yeah, if they are gonna see it anyway. THEN who would look like the bad guy?" 

i just got a giant eye roll from my husband after that! 

let me tell you. You know that you REALLY love someone when you suffer through their farts and find them comical, even if theyre noxious. and yes, this continued to go on through the evening. my son picked up on the house-hold farting when my husband went to work in the morning....

Proud mom of an ornery 3 year old boy, a very smart 6 year old girl! Married for 4.5 years, together for 7! Fun loving, open-minded, eco-friendly, creative,friendly, different strokes work for different folks, lady! I stay at home, work at home, love it all!


by on Jan. 23, 2013 at 9:17 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mouthyhousewife
by on Jan. 23, 2013 at 9:42 PM
TLDR
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Des10ed2b
by Gold Member on Jan. 23, 2013 at 10:29 PM



Quoting mouthyhousewife:

TLDR

sorry. it's funny. you may have enjoyed it!


Proud mom of an ornery 3 year old boy, a very smart 6 year old girl! Married for 4.5 years, together for 7! Fun loving, open-minded, eco-friendly, creative,friendly, different strokes work for different folks, lady! I stay at home, work at home, love it all!


jllcali
by Bronze Member on Jan. 23, 2013 at 10:34 PM
What is TLDR

Quoting mouthyhousewife:

TLDR
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Michelle_R
by on Jan. 23, 2013 at 10:42 PM

Haha thats just too funny! Well im still to embarres to do that infron of my hubby. Sometimes they just come out and im all red! Espcalliy when i was pregnant! But hes either workin galot or deployed to be here. Hopefully here more when he gets back so we can have Funner times

Tatiana7
by Gold Member on Jan. 23, 2013 at 10:48 PM
That is hilarious!! "Bask in it!!!". Yes, I've heard that phrase before. Not with my current Husband but in other relationships. Omgggggg
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jan. 23, 2013 at 10:51 PM
2 moms liked this
Sounds like me and dh! His farts are RANK!!! We laugh and threaten, too. Lol!
Des10ed2b
by Gold Member on Jan. 23, 2013 at 11:03 PM
1 mom liked this



Quoting Anonymous:

Sounds like me and dh! His farts are RANK!!! We laugh and threaten, too. Lol!


lol. it is the conversation of true love! lmao

Proud mom of an ornery 3 year old boy, a very smart 6 year old girl! Married for 4.5 years, together for 7! Fun loving, open-minded, eco-friendly, creative,friendly, different strokes work for different folks, lady! I stay at home, work at home, love it all!


Des10ed2b
by Gold Member on Jan. 23, 2013 at 11:04 PM


Too Long Didnt Read.

lol. that is why i was saying that was too bad. It was funny!

Quoting jllcali:

What is TLDR

Quoting mouthyhousewife:

TLDR



Proud mom of an ornery 3 year old boy, a very smart 6 year old girl! Married for 4.5 years, together for 7! Fun loving, open-minded, eco-friendly, creative,friendly, different strokes work for different folks, lady! I stay at home, work at home, love it all!


Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 23, 2013 at 11:09 PM
This sounds just like me and dh... only he farts under the covers and tries to trap me under them with it..... fortunately he hasn't caught me yet lol
Nikkijessie
by on Jan. 23, 2013 at 11:12 PM

this had me laughing my ass off! my fiance just loves to let them rip. haha my son just looks at him with his mouth wide open like omg daddy!! when my son farts he looks at you to see if you heard and has this big smile on his face


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