I see so many posts about women that are unhappy with their DH, SO, DF, and BF.
I understand that being in a relationship is hard, and sometimes guys are dicks. But if we just leave everything up to the guys, we're never going to be happy. I sometimes read these posts and feel like an old fart! I'm only 30, yet I have a different view on marriage, on the role of a woman, the role of a man, and the idea of living together as a family.
I just want to share with you how I am. I am a woman, in every sense of the word. I am wife, mom, cook, maid, best friend, shoulder, bread winner, partner, slut, amongst other things. I am a self sufficient person. I have no reason to depend on another person. I am with my husband because I love him and want to be with him. I have never and most likely will never be with him because I need to be with him. My life doesn't revolve around my husband, it revolves around my children. I will defend my children to the death from anyone, including my husband if the time comes. If we split tomorrow, I could survive no problem!
My husband is my partner in crime, life and parenting. The kids are ours, and if he needs to step up and change a diaper, or feed the kids, he will. He has no more privilege to sit down and scratch his balls than I do to sit and scratch my vag! We are equal. His life doesn't revolve around me, it revolves around our children and then our family as a whole. He is with me because he can't see his life with out me. But he has his own life outside of our home. He has friends, and a dream that he is following. and, I'm his number one fan!
We are friends before we're a couple. We work through our problems. If we have a disagreement, we fight it out. There is no fear that one of us is going to be leaving. We've talked about splitting up, and did split up for a year. In that time we reevaluated our marriage, and started to get to know each other again. We've been together for 11 years. Our sex life is as hot as it can be considering that we have 2 kids, work full time jobs, and are on completely different schedules. I get sex whenever I want it, and he does too. I read porn, he watches porn. If we decide to masterbate, it isn't an issue. I am not insecure about that kind of stuff. I make it a point to let him know that I think he's a sexy beast, and he can't pass by me without touching something. I am his slut at all times, and that has taken the stress off of the "sex" part of marriage. I also have no problem buying a new get up and starting a game of role play. It's usually out of the blue, and he just follows along.
I don't have the "perfect marriage" but I do have a pretty stress free, drama free life. I love with my whole heart, and the day that we decide we can't do it anymore, we will walk away. He is not worried that I'm going to bleed him dry, and I'm not worried that he'll become a deadbeat dad. If we get to that, we'll deal with it. Like I said, we're friends first. I have his back, and he has mine. If we have to go to war, I'm by his side. He's not worried about if he loses his job... I'm going to walk away, or make him feel like less of a man. I'm not worried about losing my job. I know he'll back me no matter what.
I'm stressing this issue because there are so many people out there, everywhere, not just on CM, that don't get the concept of having your partners back, and not adding to the stress of life. I don't think I could be in a stressful relationship. I have kids, and that's a stress all in itself. Relationships are hard, and it's hard to keep the flame alive, but we can't just leave it to the guy. We have to treat that guy like we were still dating. There's a time and a place for everything, but when you catch him off in his own little world, and the kids aren't watching, get his attention, and flash him some boob and when he smiles at you, give him a big grin, throw him a kiss, and keep doing what you were doing. Or pass in front of where he's standing intentionally close, and rub yourself on him. When you do this, let out a little sigh like you just can't contain yourself when you feel his body touch yours. These are little things that will keep both of your sex drives going.
Most guys will follow suit.
I think at this point I'm rambling, If you've read this far... I hope it helps. I wish you ladies the best of luck in your relationships and life!
on Jan. 24, 2013 at 11:04 AM