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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I worked for CPS for years-ask me questions UPDATE

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I will NOT talk about any specific cases but if you have general questions-Go ahead and ask.

If this gets too crazy I will take this post down.

UPDATE-

Thank you ladies for being kind to each other and keeping this post civil-I have to go to work-I am on post 141-and will try to get through the rest (right now there is 165 posts and I am sure many more)  I will try to answer all of your questions within the next day or two-

Thank you-


Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 24, 2013 at 11:08 AM
Replies (481-490):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 52 on Apr. 3, 2013 at 1:03 PM
Okay, I have a question. My ex, the NCP, is under court order not to consume alcohol or be under the influence when he has our child. His drinking issues are one of the reasons he lost custody. However, I know he does. I once saw him coming out of a bar before picking up our child from school and the bartender confirmed that he'd had two large beers. Our 12yo has also come home from weekends there saying they had a party and dad got drunk. Like stumbling and vomiting, and one time even got into the trampoline with the kids and was falling all over until an adult made him get out.

Now all of this is hearsay unless someone testifies in court, which no one will. He has to be caught in the act. Calling the cops when I know there is a party in progress wouldn't help - my ex's family is very connected to the police force in their small town. (As an example, my ex had two accidents while DUI yet it was never reported and there is no record.)

So, if I were to call CPS the next time I knew there was going to be drinking, would they show up? I don't want my child seeing dad trashed all the time - that's pretty much the reason I left him in the first place.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 95 on Apr. 3, 2013 at 1:38 PM

On that note, can a caseworker order pesticide treatment at the parents' expense? 

During my last pregnancy, a call was made regarding my older children being home while we worked.  Our home was nothing like you described below, but I offended the caseworker by refusing to hand over the number to our childrens' private phone (we had two cells at the time, one for the kids to call us and the other we took to work) and instead showed the call log and provided my number.  The caseworker had also called my job before the visit and identified himself as a CPS worker!  No attempts had been made to visit my home.  After I refused the phone number, suddenly the state of my home was an issue and based on seeing one (literally ONE, I treated the existing ones when we moved in and they are rampant in FL especially if you live under oak trees and even in nice homes) roach. 

He then insisted that if my home wasn't doused in professional pesticides (which was also a huge financial burden to surprise us with) within a week then he would pursue the case because once the baby was born it wouldn't be "able to wipe the bugs off when they're crawling all over it."  Never mind that all of the neighborhood kids would beg to sleep over every weekend, nobody EVER had bugs crawling on them.  I don't even use chemical cleaners anymore and pretty much clean everything with vinegar and baking soda so I was really upset about him ordering chemicals into my home while I was pregnant!  He would not be appeased with another bait treatment from the store (we had been due the previous month which was why he saw one) and there were no natural providers available within 100 miles. 

I did my research and contacted support groups, the consensus was that there is NO standard, whatever the caseworker says goes.  We ended up spending the money we did NOT have for a professional treatment and told him he was absolutely not to spray anything, just bait. 

After all that, he NEVER returned!  His call to my employer was made the day before my file had to be closed, then he extended it for three months and sent me a letter on that date stating that the case was closed.  It just confirmed that his demand was frivolous and he put me through the expense and stress for nothing - otherwise he would have come back to confirm that we followed through!

How would you suggest parents get their grievances heard in a timely manner BEFORE their children are removed?  I've seen a few cases where children were removed for good reason but far too many in which they are left in horrible conditions or good parents are harrassed unnecessarily.

Quoting Anonymous:


poop and pee all over the house, mold growing on food, filth/scum on tubs, sinks (with combo of other stuff), rotten food all over the house, I could go on-there is an example

Quoting Anonymous:

How dirty is too dirty of a house?




morriganna
by Silver Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 2:04 PM


Quoting Anonymous:

What are the chances of children really being taken by CPS if there is marijuana in the home. Yet everything else is perfect for the kids. Great parents who work and are more then capable to provide, nice big clean home...you get the picture.

I'm no CPS worker but have seen a lot of these cases go down.  Around here, smoking pot is no different than crack or meth - other than you're more likely to get busted for it because it stays in your system much longer. 

They don't take the kids immediately for that, but you would have an open case, be required to attend drug classes and probably counseling, as well as being subject to home inspections and drug tests for a while before they closed the case.  From what I've seen, the pot heads seem to get more scrutiny than those on hard drugs unless they get caught red handed using them.

I know one couple that went through the ropes as described above, and nobody even called to report them!  They sublet to another family and the father let the toddler out several times while he slept, prompting a report.  CPS tracked down the tenants on the lease and made a surprise appearance at their new home, waking the father who worked nights.  His wife had packed him a bowl and left it out for him before taking the kids out - the family was ideal in every other way.  They had to jump through hoops for months before the case was closed.

Another family (one of my coworkers) ended up with both parents in jail for an extended period because they refused to play ball with CPS.  The ONLY reason for CPS to be involved was a relative that kept calling about weed.  They responded that they would continue to use it because there was nothing wrong with it, and were jailed when they failed drug tests. 

Yet when I witnessed my neighbor smoking crack in front of her tot (no, I have never hung out with crackheads, she asked me to stop by and then her dealer showed up and this woman just whipped it out) nothing was done!  As fas as I know, she wasn't even given a drug test.

morriganna
by Silver Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 2:05 PM


Quoting Anonymous:

I home school our  children five days a week,  follow the state requirements regarding what subjects to teach, and do not vaccinate.  What are my chances of CPS giving me a difficult time for the parental decisions I have made in raising my children.  Another words, if a neighbor who does not like that I home school calls on me, will CPS come to our home?


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 4, 2013 at 9:42 PM
Quoting Anonymous:

Okay, I have a question. My ex, the NCP, is under court order not to consume alcohol or be under the influence when he has our child. His drinking issues are one of the reasons he lost custody. However, I know he does. I once saw him coming out of a bar before picking up our child from school and the bartender confirmed that he'd had two large beers. Our 12yo has also come home from weekends there saying they had a party and dad got drunk. Like stumbling and vomiting, and one time even got into the trampoline with the kids and was falling all over until an adult made him get out.

Now all of this is hearsay unless someone testifies in court, which no one will. He has to be caught in the act. Calling the cops when I know there is a party in progress wouldn't help - my ex's family is very connected to the police force in their small town. (As an example, my ex had two accidents while DUI yet it was never reported and there is no record.)

So, if I were to call CPS the next time I knew there was going to be drinking, would they show up? I don't want my child seeing dad trashed all the time - that's pretty much the reason I left him in the first place.

if they do go out they will for sure talk tobthe child not necessarily will they go out
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 4, 2013 at 9:47 PM
Quoting Anonymous:


call attorney generals office

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 4, 2013 at 9:49 PM
Quoting Anonymous:

I was told that although technically there is a law/rule that  a person making multiple allegations that are false can be proscecuted, it never is enforced. Would I have any recourse against anyone (my husband's ex or one of her friends) that makes repeated false reports?


the problem is people can call anonymous
Anonymous
by Anonymous 95 on Apr. 4, 2013 at 9:54 PM


Quoting Anonymous:

Quoting Anonymous:


call attorney generals office

Thank you.  How long can I do that after the case closes?  Have you ever seen action taken on similar situations?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 86 on Apr. 5, 2013 at 6:08 PM

My ex threatened me with that alot if i ever left him. I didnt think it was a crime to be a whore but thought i would ask.


Quoting Anonymous:


no-not if kids are being watched by a sitter-appropriate-

Quoting Anonymous:

Can children be taken away if the mother takes them to the sitter alot to go out and have a good time? Maybe bring someone home, but the children not there?





Anonymous
by Anonymous 96 on May. 28, 2013 at 12:07 PM

Have an autistic 10y/o girl who got molested by a 7y/o boy at a friend's gathering in one of the kid's play tents. Yes nobody knew as we all thought they were just playing.  It happened so quickly. This boy apparently knows a little too well about sex as he initiated it (he admitted to it!) & my poor daughter being ignorant played along.  My daughter said she told the boy she didnt like it but went on because she didn't want to lose their friendship (being autistic she does not have a lot friends). Story is they were rubbing against their privates & butts -_- (boy told her to take her shorts off)  But after cop's investigation, no penetration happened.   

The parents believe that my daughter lured their son to it, since she is older. What! They are dismissing the fact that she's autistic.  Even though nobody witnessed it, both of them admitted they did it but both also pointing fingers. Our daughter doesnt have the slightest idea what sex is.  She is 10 but her IEP has been stating consistently that she has an academic/mental/emotional level of a  5y/o.  Is this something the CPS should've known about?

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