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I often wonder if these problems really exist outside of cm

Posted by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 1:40 PM
  • 178 Replies
21 moms liked this
In my years here on cm, I've learned that the exception IS the rule here. I see a lot of things get talked about a LOT that I have never experienced and know very few, if any people who have ever experienced these things as well. Now, I am well aware that my life experiences will differ from the next person's and that my experiences aren't indicative of anyone else's. It just strikes me as odd that there are so many topics that seem to be happening to the masses here on cm that I was never aware of actually being an issue. Has anyone else noticed this? Or do I live on a different planet or something? Lol

Like birth control. Seems EVERYONE's birth control here fails by no fault of there own. I don't think I know one person irl who was properly using their bc and became pregnant.

Then there's the whole "people paying for stuff with food stamps" thing. I will be the first to admit that I am soooooooo unobservant of others. When I'm out and about, I really don't pay attention to what other people are doing. I seriously had NO idea that some people would follow people around the store, see what food they are getting and look at their method of payment. Lol. Honestly, that's kinda nuts to me. On the flip side, when I was a teenager and we received public assistance, there were many times I would go into a store and get some candy/chips/soda using foodstsamps and never once had anyone say anything to me about it or give me a strange look or anything. I didn't even know people took issue with this before cm.

Also, interracial relationship hate/ racism. Gosh I see a lot of people's stories on here of terrible things people have done and said to them for being in an interracial relationship. That makes me so sad. I must be naive but before cm I honest to god thought our society was past racism. Maybe the area I'm from is just much more tolerant than other places but I have been in several interracial relationships and never had anyone bat an eye. Never had anything rude said, nothing at all. I have never in my life experienced any sort of racism at all. I am of mixed race. My siblings are all colors of the rainbow lol. I have one sister who is white as can be, one sister who looks just African American, my brother looks Hispanic.. Never ever had an issue with race. Never seen racism in my circle of friends either. I don't mean to sound naive. I know it still exists on some back woodsy, deliverance areas but I had no idea it was mainstream. And I was born and raised in the deep south!

Ok this post is getting kind of long, I will try to wrap it up, just a couple more points I want to touch on.

Being a youngish mother. I see people here get a lot of judgment over that. I was pregnant at 19 ( I know that's not terribly young ) and I received nothing but positivity. Everyone was excited and happy for me. I did have ONE experience with that though lol. One day when I was very pregnant, I went to lunch with my mom and this one lady who must've been in her late 60's gave me the "eye" when I was trying to squeeze past her chair to get to my table. Lol but that was it.

Last thing is nursing in public. I nursed my boys everywhere if I needed to. Restaurants, malls, grocery stores, play grounds, etc. I honestly don't think anyone ever even noticed lol. If they did, I sure didn't notice them noticing me! And I never had anyone say anything bad about it. The only reactions I've had we're positive. Say if I was out with my mom and someone she knew came over to say hello. First they would just think I was holding a sleeping baby but once they realized I was nursing, I would get comments about how great it was and that more young mothers should nurse, etc. or just encouraging smiles.

So idk what it is. Are y'all just paranoid? Am I just unobservant? Is it just southern hospitality? Do I come from a particularly tolerant area, perhaps? Or maybe cm just catches a certain demographic that these things tend to happen to? Maybe we'll never know. Lol

anyways, that's my thought for the day
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by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 1:40 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 1:41 PM
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People lie. ESPECIALLY on the web. That's the only valid reason I can come up with.. 

by Gold Member on Jan. 24, 2013 at 1:42 PM
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Girl, I always thank God for where I live because, according to these women, every other city/state is full of horrible people!

by AlwaysWatching on Jan. 24, 2013 at 1:42 PM
I know a few people who have gotten pregnant on BC. As for the rest, no. Especially the food stamp thing. When I was on snap no one ever said anything or looked at me dirty etc.
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by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 1:44 PM

B.C. my failure was my mess up, pure and simple. 

Food stamps, NEVER thought about them until Cafemom.

Interracial dating I did it once. It wasn't a big issue, still isn't.

I was a youngish mom (21) and married, I never felt judged until I has was having babies three and four (twins), I got rude comments like "you know what causes that, right?" while a coworker who was pregnant with number three but by a different man she got congratulated, I felt like I got shit because my kids had the same father while she got congratulations because it was with a different dad. 

Nursing in public, not my thing but I don't care either which way. 

by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 1:46 PM
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i agree. i always wonder where the hell do these people live? and i live in Boston so it's not just the south.

by Anonymous 1 on Jan. 24, 2013 at 1:49 PM

I'm glad I must live under a rock to have never come across the things you mentioned either....until CM.

by Sapphire Member on Jan. 24, 2013 at 1:52 PM
1 mom liked this
I'm beginning to think its just the demographic that cm draws in. Or people are over exaggerating

Quoting Anonymous:

I'm glad I must live under a rock to have never come across the things you mentioned either....until CM.

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by Jagged Edge on Jan. 24, 2013 at 1:52 PM
I just think that some people on here lie about things. Yes there are judgemental people everywhere. I am like you and don't pay attention to others when I am out in the public. I only know one person whose bc failed. As for all the other stuff, I think people like to make up alot of stories on here.
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by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 24, 2013 at 1:55 PM
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I didn't know a lot of people felt this way about the things you posted until I joined cm. Especially the pa bashers oh god, they act like such perfect people and look down on the people that need it. We don't know any one's situation but our own. It seems like a lot of the mothers on here go everywhere with a radar and try to sort out all the "bad" stuff, which to me nothing that you posted is bad.
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 24, 2013 at 1:56 PM

Let me say I agree with you for most of what you said here. 

I do have to say that my birth control failed for my dh and I...We knew that nothing is ever 100%.  In fact there was 3 ladies I worked with years ago that ended up all getting pregnant due to defective condoms that were purchased at the base exchange store where we were stationed at.  This was 23 years ago though also. 

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