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Would you let your kids call you by your name?

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Parents Who Let Kids Call Them by Their First Names Are Giving Up Something Special

Posted by Jacqueline Burt on January 23, 2013 

mom shirtI was chatting with another mom friend recently when the topic of kids who call their parents by their first names -- you know, instead of "mom" or "dad." We both agreed that it's sort of cute when little kids fall into the habit accidentally, like a 2-year-old cousin of mine who used to call her dad "Bill." There was just something hilarious about the way her odd choice played into everyday conversation: "And then I went to the park with Mommy and Bill, and then Bill pushed me on the swing, and then Mommy said no ice cream but Bill said okay!"

If you didn't know better, you'd wonder if maybe Mommy wasn't having an affair with this "Bill" character. Anyway, we also agreed that hearing a teen calling her dad "Bill" (or her mom "Kate" or whatever) is a different sort of animal altogether. I'm not sure how I would feel about my 11-year-old, for example, calling me by my first name. On the one hand, what's the big deal?

What difference does it really make? On the other, it's the kind of seemingly trivial thing that can end up meaning so much more.

Some parents I know would take their kid calling them by name as a sign of disrespect, which I guess I understand. But for me, I think it would be more about ... loss. Like being demoted, or something. When you think about it, you're going to call pretty much every single person you meet in your entire life by name. Besides teachers, doctors, dentists, police officers and people in the military or clergy, that is. And even then, there's the possibility of overlap. You might meet more than one Mr. Franklin or Dr. Shapiro over the years ... but in the vast majority of cases, you only get one (maybe two) people designated as Mom or Dad.

I don't want to miss out on being one of those people, especially when I already am one of those people. If you know what I mean. I had the kids. I am a mom. I am THEIR mom. If the shoe fits, call a spade a spade? Oh, you know what I mean.

Would you let your kids call you by your name?

by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 1:54 PM
Replies (31-40):
calvinsmommy18
by Gold Member on Jan. 24, 2013 at 2:30 PM

 no, they KNOW my name though which I think is a good thing in case of an emergency.

MicheleJM
by Phoenix on Jan. 24, 2013 at 2:31 PM



Quoting StevieMarie:

No thanks! I am Mom, Mama, Mother, Mommy, Maternal unit, Parental unit, take your pick. My husband dosnt even call me by my first name, and my kids DEFINITELY arent going to get a response from using my first name to address me. Lol

See I hate anyone else but my kids calling me Mom.  I was at the school yesterday and the guidance counselor kept saying maybe if Mom does this it will help ds...I wanted to say "my name is..."  I have an identity other than "Mom" and I want people to use it.  My kids have called me by my name jokingly but otherwise they call me Mom.  For them to call me by my name would seem weird...not disrespectful necessarily but weird.


MicheleJM
by Phoenix on Jan. 24, 2013 at 2:33 PM



Quoting calvinsmommy18:

 no, they KNOW my name though which I think is a good thing in case of an emergency.

My kids know my married and maiden name...sometimes they refer to me by my maiden name sometimes by the family name.  I guess they do that because I'm divorced.  I kept the married name legally but for social networks I use my maiden name.  I suppose they've picked up on that.


theresaphilly
by Gold Member on Jan. 24, 2013 at 2:34 PM

NOPE, my husband calls his parents by their first names but won't allow our children to call him by his first name. He says it puts kids on the same level as the parent and he does not want that with his children. He and his parents are like friends, if you see them together you would think they are brothers and sisters.

StevieMarie
by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 2:35 PM

 

He doesnt call me mom, but I get what you mean. It is weird.

Quoting MicheleJM:

 

 

Quoting StevieMarie:

No thanks! I am Mom, Mama, Mother, Mommy, Maternal unit, Parental unit, take your pick. My husband dosnt even call me by my first name, and my kids DEFINITELY arent going to get a response from using my first name to address me. Lol

See I hate anyone else but my kids calling me Mom.  I was at the school yesterday and the guidance counselor kept saying maybe if Mom does this it will help ds...I wanted to say "my name is..."  I have an identity other than "Mom" and I want people to use it.  My kids have called me by my name jokingly but otherwise they call me Mom.  For them to call me by my name would seem weird...not disrespectful necessarily but weird.

 


 

calvinsmommy18
by Gold Member on Jan. 24, 2013 at 2:35 PM

 well my 4 yr old knows his full name and my first name and he knows my last name is the same as his so we're set there....

Quoting MicheleJM:

 

 

Quoting calvinsmommy18:

 no, they KNOW my name though which I think is a good thing in case of an emergency.

My kids know my married and maiden name...sometimes they refer to me by my maiden name sometimes by the family name.  I guess they do that because I'm divorced.  I kept the married name legally but for social networks I use my maiden name.  I suppose they've picked up on that.

 

 

aniters
by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 2:39 PM
No. I think its disrespectful. It just doesn't sound right. My 7 year old niece calls my sister by her first name. I hate it but she doesn't have a problem with it.
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smushy79
by Gold Member on Jan. 24, 2013 at 2:43 PM

 Probably not.

jasonadamvowell
by Bronze Member on Jan. 24, 2013 at 2:44 PM
My oldest is 3 and if he hears someone else call me or his dad by our first name he will do it as well, but it's funny to him, after I remind him that I am mom mommy or mamma a few times if he continues it I ignore him until he calls me mom, I was raised that it's disrespectful for a child to call an adult solely by their first name. I still have difficulty calling elderly y their first name because I feel like I'm disrespectful and rude
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moosesmom
by Ruby Member on Jan. 24, 2013 at 2:45 PM
No. It's disrespectful. I wasn't raised like that. Even though my two year old son calls me by my first name from time to time. Lol. He's usually repeating someone else though.
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