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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

My sad...and hilarious...confession. *May be tmi for some*

I haven't been able to poop for over a week. My tummy hurt so bad yesterday I went and bought laxatives. I was getting this poo baby out one way or another. Then for dinner last night we had Taco Bell. This morning I was eating pancakes that DH made me when I felt a rumbly in my tumbly. I got so excited that I was going to finally get to poop I ran upstairs and ripped my pants off, after all this was a big event and I needed my freedom. I sat down on the toilet and nothing happened. Then I got the violent urge to throw up so I turned around and started vomiting. I started spewing liquid sh*t all over the floor at the same time. When I was all done I started busting up laughing. DH came upstairs and saw the mess. He just looked at me and said, "And you complain when I miss the toilet." LOL!


ETA*

And I never thought I would have to utter this phrase.

I did not shit out of my mouth. I vomitted out of my mouth and shit out of my ass. Holy cow...LMAO!!!!

by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 8:13 PM
Replies (101-103):
lincolnlady
by Gold Member on Jan. 24, 2013 at 9:57 PM
Thanks I haven't had a good laugh all day. Your update is priceless. Glad you feel better. Lmao.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 24, 2013 at 10:02 PM

When you get backed up it has to turn into liquid to make room for all of it. I went 4 weeks without pooping after my last baby. It was so hard I put on gloves and dug it out. 

joyfullem
by Bronze Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 8:45 AM
Nifty trick lol
Quoting Jennyanne322:

If you take a napkin and put it in the bottom of your bowl, it won't splash up back at you. Learned the hard way.

Quoting joyfullem:

I'm pregnant and have been keeping a big bowl in there!  It seems every morning I have to pee and throw up at the same time! I do not want to pee everywhere  My kids and husband have been looking at my bowl weird but noone is asking questions lol

Quoting VintageWife:

I've learned if your tummy hurts, you take a bucket with you to the bathroom in case it wasn't pooing like you thought. Keep your hiney on the toilet and the bucket in front of you :)


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