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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

My sad...and hilarious...confession. *May be tmi for some*

I haven't been able to poop for over a week. My tummy hurt so bad yesterday I went and bought laxatives. I was getting this poo baby out one way or another. Then for dinner last night we had Taco Bell. This morning I was eating pancakes that DH made me when I felt a rumbly in my tumbly. I got so excited that I was going to finally get to poop I ran upstairs and ripped my pants off, after all this was a big event and I needed my freedom. I sat down on the toilet and nothing happened. Then I got the violent urge to throw up so I turned around and started vomiting. I started spewing liquid sh*t all over the floor at the same time. When I was all done I started busting up laughing. DH came upstairs and saw the mess. He just looked at me and said, "And you complain when I miss the toilet." LOL!


ETA*

And I never thought I would have to utter this phrase.

I did not shit out of my mouth. I vomitted out of my mouth and shit out of my ass. Holy cow...LMAO!!!!

by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 8:13 PM
Replies (21-30):
Mrs.Torres2566
by Mrs.T on Jan. 24, 2013 at 8:20 PM

LOL at "the glory".

Quoting angevil53:

Goodness. Hope you get to poop soon. I went over two weeks with my son. After i had him the glory hit in a few hours. I got double relief.


LucyHourglass
by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 8:20 PM

not even anon, you're brave!

angie944
by Silver Member on Jan. 24, 2013 at 8:21 PM

wow... youre hubby sounds like a really laid back guy! 

MichLW69
by PackersXLV4 on Jan. 24, 2013 at 8:21 PM
Please let this be attempted sarcasm. No one can be this unintelligent.

Quoting Anonymous:

You need to go to the dr! Sounds like you may have a bowel obstructon. Vomiting shit is not normal.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
ilana_ny
by Gold Member on Jan. 24, 2013 at 8:21 PM

sidesplittinglaughter

tiffs2009
by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 8:21 PM
Lol! When I was preggo that was only I peed everywhere while barfing. DH laughed so hard
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
hollywood74
by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 8:22 PM

next time that happenes drink some brandy, gives me the runs every time.

Mrs.Torres2566
by Mrs.T on Jan. 24, 2013 at 8:22 PM
3 moms liked this

I own my shit...lol see what I did there?

Quoting LucyHourglass:

not even anon, you're brave!


3lilladies81
by Silver Member on Jan. 24, 2013 at 8:22 PM
OMG!!! You just put my right over the edge!!! CAN'T. STOP. LAUGHING!!!!!!!!!!

Quoting Anonymous:

You need to go to the dr! Sounds like you may have a bowel obstructon. Vomiting shit is not normal.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 24, 2013 at 8:22 PM
Oh. Well thank God!

Quoting Mrs.Torres2566:

LMAO! What? I vomited out of my mouth and shit out of my ass...

Quoting Anonymous:

You need to go to the dr! Sounds like you may have a bowel obstructon. Vomiting shit is not normal.


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