My sad...and hilarious...confession. *May be tmi for some*
I haven't been able to poop for over a week. My tummy hurt so bad yesterday I went and bought laxatives. I was getting this poo baby out one way or another. Then for dinner last night we had Taco Bell. This morning I was eating pancakes that DH made me when I felt a rumbly in my tumbly. I got so excited that I was going to finally get to poop I ran upstairs and ripped my pants off, after all this was a big event and I needed my freedom. I sat down on the toilet and nothing happened. Then I got the violent urge to throw up so I turned around and started vomiting. I started spewing liquid sh*t all over the floor at the same time. When I was all done I started busting up laughing. DH came upstairs and saw the mess. He just looked at me and said, "And you complain when I miss the toilet." LOL!
And I never thought I would have to utter this phrase.
I did not shit out of my mouth. I vomitted out of my mouth and shit out of my ass. Holy cow...LMAO!!!!