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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

My sad...and hilarious...confession. *May be tmi for some*

I haven't been able to poop for over a week. My tummy hurt so bad yesterday I went and bought laxatives. I was getting this poo baby out one way or another. Then for dinner last night we had Taco Bell. This morning I was eating pancakes that DH made me when I felt a rumbly in my tumbly. I got so excited that I was going to finally get to poop I ran upstairs and ripped my pants off, after all this was a big event and I needed my freedom. I sat down on the toilet and nothing happened. Then I got the violent urge to throw up so I turned around and started vomiting. I started spewing liquid sh*t all over the floor at the same time. When I was all done I started busting up laughing. DH came upstairs and saw the mess. He just looked at me and said, "And you complain when I miss the toilet." LOL!


ETA*

And I never thought I would have to utter this phrase.

I did not shit out of my mouth. I vomitted out of my mouth and shit out of my ass. Holy cow...LMAO!!!!

by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 8:13 PM
Replies (31-40):
lucaslexie
by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 8:22 PM
I kinda took it that way too throwing up pooh. Ewww but I re read it. Bless your heart glad you feel better. After I had both my kids I was like this. It is horrible pain when you can't pooh.

Quoting got2monsters:

i think she was vomiting in the toilet, and spewing liquid shit on the floor behind her.







Quoting Anonymous:

You need to go to the dr! Sounds like you may have a bowel obstructon. Vomiting shit is not normal.

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angevil53
by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 8:23 PM
Seriously it was amazing! Lol


Quoting Mrs.Torres2566:

LOL at "the glory".

Quoting angevil53:

Goodness. Hope you get to poop soon. I went over two weeks with my son. After i had him the glory hit in a few hours. I got double relief.



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Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jan. 24, 2013 at 8:23 PM
Sounds like your butthole was sleeping on the job and your gag reflex snapped it back to reality.
3lilladies81
by Silver Member on Jan. 24, 2013 at 8:23 PM
Op I don't know what's funnier your post or the replies either way I can hardly breathe!!
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LCG83
by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 8:23 PM
LOL! I know how miserable it is not to be able to poo I'd just be glad it was out. Lololololol
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Mrs.Torres2566
by Mrs.T on Jan. 24, 2013 at 8:24 PM

Yep totally. Only in South Park do people poop out of their mouth.

Quoting got2monsters:

i think she was vomiting in the toilet, and spewing liquid shit on the floor behind her.


Quoting Anonymous:

You need to go to the dr! Sounds like you may have a bowel obstructon. Vomiting shit is not normal.


JayeC2
by Silver Member on Jan. 24, 2013 at 8:24 PM

I just have to give you mad props for not going anon on this....and yes, I'll admit publically that I've had both ends running at the same time before too.....LOL

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 24, 2013 at 8:24 PM
I have seen people vomit shit from an obstruction... I missunderstood her wording.
Quoting MichLW69:

Please let this be attempted sarcasm. No one can be this unintelligent.



Quoting Anonymous:

You need to go to the dr! Sounds like you may have a bowel obstructon. Vomiting shit is not normal.
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Melissa_4
by Ruby Member on Jan. 24, 2013 at 8:24 PM

LOL aside, it sound like you either have an obstruction or an impaction (thus the vomiting and liquid BM).  Either way, you need medical attention.

(unless of course you've had a formed bowel movement by now.  Liquid does not count.)

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jan. 24, 2013 at 8:24 PM
Never will be as funny as Robe and her long awaited poo baby.
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