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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

If I was wrong I'll go apologize.

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
DH left the light on on the stairs.

I turned it off.

He said "leave it on, it's dark without it."

I said "youngest kid is 8, and perfectly capable of finding a light switch. The light will shine in our room and I know this is silly but it's really bright and bothers me. Can we please leave it off?

DH said "I said leave it on."

I said "that's why I have a nite light plugged in on the stairs, so there is some light but not enough to keep me up. its such a small thing but us important to me."

DH said "the bulb is burned out."

So, I replaced the bulb.

DH got mad and said "you just HAVE to make me wrong, I'm sleeping on the couch!"

I said "no, I wasn't trying to do that at all. I'm just trying to find a good solution for both of us. it's called compromise. I give a little. You give a little."

He was like "no it's just all about you! You you you!"

I said, " If I had my way there would be no light. You want a light, so I did the smaller bulb in the night light. If you want, we can just sleep with our door closed and put the big light on."

He said "I'm not sleeping with you, all you care about is yourself."

So I got mad and told him not to bother coming to bed at all, if he wants to punish me for trying to compromise, well he can just stay out there until he remembers I'm not one of the children, and he can't punish me like I am.

If you think I'm wrong, tell me and I'll apologize.
Edited for readability.
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 24, 2013 at 10:43 PM
Replies (291-300):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 23 on Jan. 25, 2013 at 4:03 AM



Yes, he probably thought you to be a monster. I don't know you personally, so I can't say if you are or not. Looking at it from his point of view. 


Quoting Anonymous:

I can't believe I'm actually crying here! I guess it's the lack of sleep.

You think I'm a monster?!







Quoting Anonymous:

Yes, she is. Simple as that.

I would have looked for monsters, but I'm sure the monster was staring him in that face. :D



Quoting Liyoness:

She's selfish because she wouldn't let him have the hall light on and offered alternatives? 

Jeez. Would it have been better if she'd offered to look for monsters under the bed and make him monster spray just in case one slithered in from the dryer vent? 



Quoting Anonymous:

I think you're selfish. 

Seriously selfish. If anyone took the time to see, it was revolved around you. 

You can't sleep with light, You had to get the night light, You aren't going to apologize. 



I've read some of the things you've put. Everything is making him seem the villian while you run around like an innocent. 

Even the tone of this post is sarcastic and condescending.

Such a selfish woman you're being. 





AA2.0
by Gold Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 4:03 AM
Agreed

Quoting Abby.N.Amys.Mom:

Fighting over a lightbulb.. either he was tired and stressed or there's some kind of underlying issue.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 23 on Jan. 25, 2013 at 4:04 AM

I probably would have let the light stay on. Not the fact that he was telling me what to do, just until he went to sleep. Then I would have put the nightlight on. Somethings aren't worth the fight. You're still wide awake. 

Quoting Anonymous:

I can't sleep, the stupid light is on.

I could count the hairs on my head it's so bright in here.

What would you have done in this situation? Let your DH tell you what to do? Resign yourself to staying up all night?

Next time his highness wants the light on I guess I'll just grab a book and start reading because it should be all about what he wants?


Quoting Anonymous:

Your own guilt is evidence. If you didn't feel wrong you wouldn't still be awake. You'd enjoy your big lonely bed. 

As I pointed out, you repeatedly made it about yourself by saying "You" couldn't sleep with the light on. The fact that you had to point out that your youngest was 8 and then you through up the fact that "you" were making the comprise which I'm sure probably sounded sarcastic.

Just go to sleep. I know I am, with my husband, in our bed.


Quoting Anonymous:

I absolutely would apologize if I felt I had a reason to. If you think I do, give me evidence and examples and I will. I would never let my husband's feelings be hurt justifiably by me without trying to fix it.

On another note: how is not being able to sleep with the light on selfish?

I get that it may have inconvenienced him, but it's not something I can help. So, how is it selfish? 

It may be selfish that I want the light off because I can't sleep with it on. I can see that. But in what way is being unable to sleep with it on selfish? That's like saying its selfish to lie down when I sleep.

I got the night light because he wasn't going to. And since he never said that the night light wasn't good enough, how was I supposed to know it wasn't? If he didnt want to use the night light he could have simply said "I don't want to use the night light." I would have understood that. 

I think it was selfish if him to expect me to give up a night of sleep because he wanted that light on. It is VERY bright. I am still up because of it, it's 4am but feels like daytime.

I think it was selfish of him to get mad instead if talking it out.

It was selfish of me to want the light off. 


But having it off wasn't hurting anyone. Having it on was/is hurting me. 

That counts for something. I'm sorry, but I have a right to be comfortable in my own home.










Quoting Anonymous:

I think you're selfish. 

Seriously selfish. If anyone took the time to see, it was revolved around you. 

You can't sleep with light, You had to get the night light, You aren't going to apologize. 



I've read some of the things you've put. Everything is making him seem the villian while you run around like an innocent. 

Even the tone of this post is sarcastic and condescending.

Such a selfish woman you're being. 



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 25, 2013 at 4:07 AM
I have honestly never felt so hurt by another person's comments on here.

You know that I had an argument with my adult husband right? Not with a 6 year old child?

I try so hard to make my husband and everyone else happy. I can't believe that just wanting to turn a stupid light off makes me a monster.

I must be such a horrible person. I know I've done way more selfish things than that before.

I can't believe someone thinks I'm a monster.


Quoting Anonymous:



Yes, he probably thought you to be a monster. I don't know you personally, so I can't say if you are or not. Looking at it from his point of view. 


Quoting Anonymous:

I can't believe I'm actually crying here! I guess it's the lack of sleep.

You think I'm a monster?!







Quoting Anonymous:

Yes, she is. Simple as that.

I would have looked for monsters, but I'm sure the monster was staring him in that face. :D



Quoting Liyoness:

She's selfish because she wouldn't let him have the hall light on and offered alternatives? 

Jeez. Would it have been better if she'd offered to look for monsters under the bed and make him monster spray just in case one slithered in from the dryer vent? 



Quoting Anonymous:

I think you're selfish. 

Seriously selfish. If anyone took the time to see, it was revolved around you. 

You can't sleep with light, You had to get the night light, You aren't going to apologize. 



I've read some of the things you've put. Everything is making him seem the villian while you run around like an innocent. 

Even the tone of this post is sarcastic and condescending.

Such a selfish woman you're being. 






Anonymous
by Anonymous 33 on Jan. 25, 2013 at 4:09 AM

 This sounds EXACTLY like dh and I!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 25, 2013 at 4:10 AM
Yes because the light is on! It's very bright.


I will never go behind my husband 's back like that. Waiting until he goes to sleep just to have it my way and to heck with his feelings, no way. That's dishonest and immoral. And downright sneaky.

Sorry, not for me. I'll never be dishonest and absolutely never go behind my husband's back.


Quoting Anonymous:

I probably would have let the light stay on. Not the fact that he was telling me what to do, just until he went to sleep. Then I would have put the nightlight on. Somethings aren't worth the fight. You're still wide awake. 

Quoting Anonymous:

I can't sleep, the stupid light is on.

I could count the hairs on my head it's so bright in here.

What would you have done in this situation? Let your DH tell you what to do? Resign yourself to staying up all night?

Next time his highness wants the light on I guess I'll just grab a book and start reading because it should be all about what he wants?


Quoting Anonymous:

Your own guilt is evidence. If you didn't feel wrong you wouldn't still be awake. You'd enjoy your big lonely bed. 

As I pointed out, you repeatedly made it about yourself by saying "You" couldn't sleep with the light on. The fact that you had to point out that your youngest was 8 and then you through up the fact that "you" were making the comprise which I'm sure probably sounded sarcastic.

Just go to sleep. I know I am, with my husband, in our bed.


Quoting Anonymous:

I absolutely would apologize if I felt I had a reason to. If you think I do, give me evidence and examples and I will. I would never let my husband's feelings be hurt justifiably by me without trying to fix it.

On another note: how is not being able to sleep with the light on selfish?

I get that it may have inconvenienced him, but it's not something I can help. So, how is it selfish? 

It may be selfish that I want the light off because I can't sleep with it on. I can see that. But in what way is being unable to sleep with it on selfish? That's like saying its selfish to lie down when I sleep.

I got the night light because he wasn't going to. And since he never said that the night light wasn't good enough, how was I supposed to know it wasn't? If he didnt want to use the night light he could have simply said "I don't want to use the night light." I would have understood that. 

I think it was selfish if him to expect me to give up a night of sleep because he wanted that light on. It is VERY bright. I am still up because of it, it's 4am but feels like daytime.

I think it was selfish of him to get mad instead if talking it out.

It was selfish of me to want the light off. 


But having it off wasn't hurting anyone. Having it on was/is hurting me. 

That counts for something. I'm sorry, but I have a right to be comfortable in my own home.










Quoting Anonymous:

I think you're selfish. 

Seriously selfish. If anyone took the time to see, it was revolved around you. 

You can't sleep with light, You had to get the night light, You aren't going to apologize. 



I've read some of the things you've put. Everything is making him seem the villian while you run around like an innocent. 

Even the tone of this post is sarcastic and condescending.

Such a selfish woman you're being. 




RandiBear
by Gold Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 4:17 AM

 

I actually had this battle with my DH about a month ago. He sleeps better with the TV on, I sleep better with it off because when it's on, I wake up with a migraine. So, instead of me saying "well I have immediate bad responses to it...my way is the way it's going to be..." I said "Okay, well then lets switch sides of the bed so it wont be in my eyes all night" Then, the next day, I rearranged the bedroom so he can have the TV on without it bothering me. Now, the only time it bothers me is when he falls asleep on the remote and turns it up lol

Quoting Anonymous:

Which I think was her DH 's point. He thinks she's a right fighter. I've learned in my marriage to pick my battles. Do you want to win or do you want to be happy? Ie: I don't really like the tv on but if my husband turned it on and came to her I wouldn't walk in and turn it off. I'd put in some ear plugs.

You weren't really compromising. You were trying to control the situation. You were willing to turn on the same night light that you generally use. In that compromise you weren't giving up any of your position. I think my compromise would be to wear an eye mask


Quoting LADYxGHOST:

 


She isn't sleeping now she is on CM, silly. And yeah, this srgument should be allowed to fester overnight. But het, it really depends on how much a person wants to be happily married. Or if they want to get their 8 hours of sleep and deal with the backlash as it builds up and comes out later on.


Quoting Anonymous:


 


So out of respect for him she shouldnt get any fucking sleep?


Quoting LADYxGHOST:


I think you where technically right but maritally wrong. You told you to keep the light on and you did everything to make sure you could turn it off. It can be an affront to his position. I would apologize, not for changing the light, but for disrespecting him.


 


 


 


 



 

frzmamaof4
by Silver Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 4:17 AM


Quoting skittlefart:

Sounds like someone is on his manperiod...

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 25, 2013 at 4:23 AM
I thought me suggesting we use the night light was a good compromise, that's why I suggested it.

I also offered that we just keep the bedroom door closed.

That was no good either.

So now the light is on and I'm still up.

I will buy a eye mask for tomorrow night. But, for now I guess I'm SOL.


Quoting RandiBear:

 


I actually had this battle with my DH about a month ago. He sleeps better with the TV on, I sleep better with it off because when it's on, I wake up with a migraine. So, instead of me saying "well I have immediate bad responses to it...my way is the way it's going to be..." I said "Okay, well then lets switch sides of the bed so it wont be in my eyes all night" Then, the next day, I rearranged the bedroom so he can have the TV on without it bothering me. Now, the only time it bothers me is when he falls asleep on the remote and turns it up lol


Quoting Anonymous:

Which I think was her DH 's point. He thinks she's a right fighter. I've learned in my marriage to pick my battles. Do you want to win or do you want to be happy? Ie: I don't really like the tv on but if my husband turned it on and came to her I wouldn't walk in and turn it off. I'd put in some ear plugs.

You weren't really compromising. You were trying to control the situation. You were willing to turn on the same night light that you generally use. In that compromise you weren't giving up any of your position. I think my compromise would be to wear an eye mask



Quoting LADYxGHOST:


 



She isn't sleeping now she is on CM, silly. And yeah, this srgument should be allowed to fester overnight. But het, it really depends on how much a person wants to be happily married. Or if they want to get their 8 hours of sleep and deal with the backlash as it builds up and comes out later on.



Quoting Anonymous:



 



So out of respect for him she shouldnt get any fucking sleep?



Quoting LADYxGHOST:



I think you where technically right but maritally wrong. You told you to keep the light on and you did everything to make sure you could turn it off. It can be an affront to his position. I would apologize, not for changing the light, but for disrespecting him.



 



 



 



 





 


Sassy762
by CAFE SASSY HBIC on Jan. 25, 2013 at 4:23 AM

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